ChristianMilitaryWives

Last weekend began our Active Duty military career.  To say I was ready for it and anxiously waiting for it to begin is a total understatement.  I had been waiting for that day since my husband graduated from ROTC and got his commission into the Army.
Growing up in the military as an Army Brat, I knew that one day I would probably be a Military Wife like my mom.   I held that position in such high esteem and regard . . . and to be honest, I kind of put military wives up on a pedestal. When I dated, I looked for guys to had the military in mind as a career. Being the wife to a Hero like my dad was what I dreamed of when I imagined what my life would be like years down the road.  It wasn't until I met my husband, who at the time had no interest of joining the military did I really have to surrender this big "dream" to God.  It might sound silly to some, but it was the life I grew up in and grew up loving, I couldn't imagine any other life.  What I had to come to terms with was that no matter who I married, I would be a ''wife'' first and foremost no matter what his career would be. I had to choose the man and not the career, because no matter what he does for a living, it could change in an instant. A year into dating my boyfriend at the time, now husband, calls me up during our sophomore summer break and tells me that he is considering joining the military and asks me what I thought.  I was STUNNED!  I had finally said, "Ok God, being a military wife, may not be the life you have for me . . . I'm ok with that. You know best." To cut this story short . . . I think the lesson I was meant to learn from that was that God's timing IS perfect.  Sometime's it's a matter of me surrendering my will to His and saying, "You know best."  God always knew the desires of my heart.
My husband joined the Reserves and ROTC. It was almost eight months after my husband received his commission this past July that he went active duty.  It hass been a long eight months.  We have both been anxiously waiting for  this time to come, and now that it is here . . . we both would like to put on the brakes and slow down just a bit.  That being said, I believe God has something for both of us to learn during this time. 
Right now my husband is training about an hour away from where our house is (I can see him periodically), and he will be for about the next five months.  At the end of that five month period we will be moving to our first duty station (we've been told Ft. Lewis) and we've been told that shortly after we arrive he will be deploying.
Today I realized that I wasted a lot of time the past eight months making my own plans and telling God how I thought things should work out.  I was getting ahead of myself and ahead of my heavenly Father. Fortunately, I can still take advantage of this time we have before we move into the next stage of our military journey.  Now is a time to allow God to prepare us spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally for the coming year. I am so guilty of getting caught up in the "what if's" and the questions that are really minimal when looking at the big picture. 
I hope that I never forget the importance and value of waiting for God and waiting for His always perfect timing.  I'm an Army Wife now, and I am not sure I was as prepared and ready for it as I thought I would be.  I'm nervous about the road ahead and uncertain that I have what it takes to be a great wife and military spouse.  I rest assured in knowing that over time, God will enable, equip and empower me . . . If I would just listen to His voice and wait for Him to lead me.

By Colleen Saffron

I have been thinking on this subject for a couple of weeks now. How often in life do we walk away from a person and event a subject and we never really say what we meant to. Now let me clarify I am not talking about “giving a piece of your mind” to someone or insulting them. I think we have too many people walking around being rude and unloving because it is their “right” when frankly, I agree 100% with Proverbs that says a kind word turns away wrath.

What I am talking about is a friend, a colleague, an acquaintance or someone you have run into who has done something they may not even realize that has positively touched your life. A cashier who although they have had a long day still smiles and asks how you are and maybe even chats about the local weather. Take that moment to thank them, to smile, to say have a wonderful evening… The person at church who takes an extra moment to stop come over to you and say hello, a child who does a little something sweet. These things happen all the time but we tend to focus on the person who cut us off on the highway, who jumped us in line, who doesn’t do things the way we think they should…..

Over the past few months a woman has become a part of my church that literally just exudes joy. I have never met anyone so lit up from inside. I know she has struggles; we all know since she has been through cancer treatments once and is facing it again within the next month. She started coming to our church with no hair but her eyes and her face positively shine. Her smile illuminates her eyes! Just being in her presence can make you stop thinking about what you face and have a moment that shares in her delight.

I don’t know her well, only casually at this time but every time I see her she blesses me. Last week, when I saw her I felt a need to tell her how her joyfulness makes my day. I did not expect it to impact her the way it did. In the moment I spoke I realized sometimes we need to stop what we are doing long enough to let the people around us know their positive impact on our life. Too often we only seem to share the negative and miss the opportunity to speak life and love to another person who is struggling to do the best they can with what life has given them.

I don’t know why THAT day I felt the need to speak except that one thing my life as a military wife has taught me is that if there is something you should say to another in love don’t let the chance pass you by. My need to speak to her was so much so I am not even sure I thought it through; I just spoke. Honestly, we need to recognize we may not get another opportunity to speak the things we feel at that time. You may forget or lose track of someone or even God forbid, they can be gone forever.

I have lost a sister, 2 grandmothers, my father and more friends than I want to think of over the years and they are gone forever. I can honestly say I wish had spoken to each of them about all they brought that was wonderful and loving and fun and special into my life. I am trying not to allow any more people pass out of my life without letting them know what good they bring me. I am convinced it can do nothing but good and really we all need some more good!

Colleens Blog: Deaf Chicks Shouldn't Sing and Other Sound Advice

Yesterday was my 5 year anniversary. It's been a rough year, sort of. My husband Cam has been deployed the majority of year, leaving me to deal with our two babies (now 24 months old and 10 months old). The babies and I have moved 4 times this year, bought a house, and lived in a barn for a month, not in that order.

But despite all that, it's actually been pretty good. My husband and I have maintained an acceptable level of communication, and we have both matured quite a bit throughout the year. I know we'll have to deal with a period of re-acclimation, but that's something to look forward to rather than fear.

5 years ago, when we got married, I didn't understand how "love" could be any better than it was right then. It just felt so good that first year or two, starting our lives together, getting chubby together. We fought ALL the time, but we were in love, so it didn't matter, we always got over it. I guess that's what the honeymoon period is for, to give us hope while we battle. It's like iron sharpening iron...we were rough and unpolished and, in order to smooth out, we clashed. I don't remember feeling miserable in this time, but looking back, I probably should've been.

The last year before Cam was deployed, things smoothed out for us. We were on our own, 800 miles from our nearest family, for the first time in our lives, and we learned to deal properly with one another. One day I remember panicking when I realized we hadn't really fought in over a month. For some reason, I assumed that maybe this was because I didn't care for him emotionally anymore. Funny huh? But in my mind, love was tumultuous, and if violent emotions, good and bad, were not foremost in my thoughts, I must not be in love. Fortunately, this was a short lived panic attack.

You see, Cam and I agreed before we got married that this was it for us. Good, bad, and ugly, we were going to work through it all. Divorce was not an option, and it would not enter our marital vocabulary, and it didn't. So when my emotions had finally evened out, instead of considering leaving him like some people do, I could for the first time be deliberate about the growth of my marriage. By that time, he was leaving for Afghanistan, so I haven't actually had much opportunity to put this new-found maturity to good use, but I'm excited about the prospect!

I feel like this is the next step in our marriage. Maybe the first real step, after actually getting married. Before, we were were just breaking off all our rough edges, now we can begin to sharpen one another.

It got me thinking about my relationship with God, too. The Bible refers to our walk with God and the gospel as a "mystery." I never really understood this before, but now I'm starting to get a glimpse of what it means. We have to go deeper, just like we have to go deeper in our marriages. The initial "honeymoon period" seems so great when you are in it, but as anyone who has been married more than a few years can tell you, if that was all there was to it, we'd be miserable and bored. The real excitement, the true love, comes from growth and maturity, a mutual respect.

Cam and I are finally to the point where we can grow and mature together, instead of just existing. I feel this is the point I'm reaching with God, too, that I can finally mature in Him and learn His mysteries, instead of just coasting. This is the point in which we "come away" with Him. This is where life, where our relationship, truly begins. This is where my life, as a wife and as a Christian, truly begins.

Are you excited about the future? I am.

    
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I just recently began a Bible Study called, “What Happens When Women Walk In Faith”, written by Lysa Terkeurst. As I read through the introduction and first chapter of the book, I found myself saying, “That’s me!” I felt elated, yet unsure, as I continued to read, trying to process everything I was taking in. Things that were a “secret” part of me; things I had not even talked to God about were right there in front of me in black and white, jumping off the page, and there was God, telling me “It’s time to confront this. It’s time to stop pretending. It’s time to step up and start living for Me. It’s time for you to start carrying out the plans I have for you.”

That feeling of elation kicked in again, along with that of excitement, followed closely by fear. I have pulled away from God for so long; not intentionally, but through various choices I had made, actions I had taken, bad habits and harmful temptations I had allowed myself to fall into. It had been a long, dark, winding road to the place I found myself currently in, and I had no idea how to find my way back… But, then, there was God. I’d thought for sure I had wandered too far from Him. They always say that if you feel like you’re far from God, He’s never the one who moved, and you can always find Him right where you left Him, but I figured out today that that statement isn’t entirely true. Yes, I was the one who moved, but God didn’t stay where I’d left Him, allowing me to walk away and get lost. Instead, He stayed right there with me… He was there through it all… All the bad choices, the temptations, the hurts, the anger, the sadness… He was there, arms wide open, just waiting for me to LET Him catch me every time I fell. But I, unfortunately, kept choosing to let myself just fall to the ground. I kept dodging His outstretched arms, choosing not to see – choosing to not acknowledge His presence. Out of guilt, out of shame… I knew I was the one who had walked away. I knew I was the one who stopped allowing Him to be a part of my life. But He never left. He spent all this time waiting quietly on the sidelines for me to grab hold of His hand and say “get in the game! I want You on my team!”

Why has it taken me so long to say that? Why did I allow myself to be fooled into believing that I had done too many things wrong; made too many wrong choices; walked too far away; etc… for Him to still want me and love me? Why did I fool myself into thinking that I was too far gone for Him to ever be able to use me? I’d convinced myself that I was a failure, so I’d better just keep going to try to make the best of the mess I’d made of my life. But, God said “No. I want better for you. I have better for you, and I want to show you that I am sufficient; I can pull you through – I can lift you out of this darkness and I can use you to glorify Me, if you will only take My hand and say, ‘Yes, Lord’. I have been waiting for you for too long. It’s time.”

There is a song called, “From Nowhere To Now – Here” by The Kin. It’s not a Christian song, but I happened to hear it playing softly in the background as I was reading through my Bible study and I heard God’s voice in the lyrics of the chorus…

“Take this love
Calls your name
No need to walk alone
From nowhere to now here
Change has come
Well come in
No need to walk alone
From nowhere to now here”

I listened to those words over and over again. I kept replaying the song, and I realized that it described my relationship with God. God is offering His love to me – still. I got Saved over 9 years ago, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am His, but as I explained previously, somewhere along the way, I got lost and pulled away, distancing myself from Him – or so I thought. But here He is, right beside me, offering His unconditional love, despite all I have done, and all I have not done. He is calling my name, and telling me He is with me, willing to walk with me from this place – my “nowhere” – to get me to His “now here”.  He wants to take me to where He wants me to be. He wants to walk with me and pull me out of this dark void, the middle of nowhere, and show me the specific “here” where He wants me to be; the place I can be nourished by Him, by His Word and grow. The place He can use me for His glory.

So, here I am, Lord. I am ready to take Your hand. I am ready for You to lead me out of this place I find myself. Ready for you to guide me forward – not back. I am ready to walk with you. Guide me, Lord. Nourish my heart, my mind… Teach me what I need to know, so that you may use me to honor You. Hold me tightly, Lord, so that I may not wander from You again. I need You, Father, because in all my wandering I have learned that I cannot make it alone….. Thank You for not letting me go… In Jesus’ name… In Jesus’ name… yes, Lord…

 

For the past several days, I have been in tears several times and until this morning, I wasn't sure why. I kept feeling a heaviness on my heart and an utter despair. Lately I have felt unsure of whether I am making any difference in others' lives and whether or not my motives are even true.

You see, I have a problem with pride. And I am okay (sort-of) with admitting this. :) Though my heart is sincere, I believe, in wanting to serve Christ and to be a "good Christian," there are times that I believe I can do it on my own. And when I fail, I am frustrated beyond belief and end up wondering what sin in my life is keeping me from following the "rules" this time.

Have you ever felt that way? Wondering why, even after spending gobs of time reading the Bible, praying countless hours in the day and all through the night, having 5 quiet times, worshipping hours upon hours, fellowshiping with believers, serving God through some type of ministry, etc... you feel empty still, or that you can not do enough?

I decided to ask God to examine my heart. Let me just warn you - He is faithful to do what we ask of Him. :)

I said, "God, I feel like giving up. Has nothing really changed in my life after experiencing your salvation 7 years ago? Am I still the fake, unloving person with junk in my life that I've always been? I am a seminary student; I shouldn't still be doing things wrong. Lord, I need you to do something better with me."

This morning, I cried out to Him some more, and He answered. God said to me: "Sara, have you forgotten why I came to save you? Self-sufficiency always leads to self-righteousness, but My sufficiency leads to true righteousness. Let me live MY life THROUGH you. My Grace is enough."

Wow...what an epiphany.

So many of our efforts in being a Christian end up leading to complete disappointment when we feel that we don't "succeed." We pray our hearts out for the Lord to work in our lives, yet when things are still going wrong in some way, we think that we didn't pray enough, aren't good enough, or often, we even question our salvation. We wonder what we've done wrong, and we ask God why? We say we are sorry for whatever it is we've done wrong, then we rededicate our life to Him and promise to "do better." Its a continuous cycle of motivation --> condemnation --> rededication.

Somewhere along the way we (I) have forgotten that we are saved by Grace, and that this Grace cannot be earned no matter how hard we try because it is the gift of God! We ask Jesus to come into our hearts and lives by accepting this gift of Grace, then the rest of the time we live under the law, trying to keep a lot of rules so we can be good Christians.

The fact of the matter is, we are never going to be "good Christians" in our own eyes. We can never do enough good works, do enough praying, do enough reading our Bibles, to earn the love of Christ and His acceptance. And we can never be "successful" if we try to do it on our own.

For me, this is where my issue with pride comes in, thinking that because I am a Christian, I can keep all the rules on my own. Then I expect others around me to keep the rules, and I end up living under the Law instead of under Grace and witnessing to others NOT the Grace of God but the Law of God.

Today, I have surrendered my heart to what God wants to do through me, even if I look weak and insufficient in my own strength. I have decided to let the power of Jesus' righteousness run through my veins, instead of me trying to do it on my own. Today, and every day from here on out, I have chosen to walk in Grace, believing that Jesus Christ loves me, accepts me, and can use me despite my shortcomings and flaws.

Are you walking in Grace?

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." - 2 Corinthians 12:9