ChristianMilitaryWives

The Wives Who Wait

Twas the night before Christmas
And there all alone
I saw a young woman
Who sat by the phone

For what was she waiting
On this holiday night
Where were the stockings
Christmas tree, lights?

I saw one little tear
As it rolled down her face
And she curled up in a blanket
Then looked round the place

Something was missing
Someone not here
In her face I saw sadness
Did I also see fear?

I paused and I wondered
What could it be?
That would cause a young woman
To look so lonely

How could anyone so precious
Choose such a life?
Then I realized this woman
Was a soldiers wife.

Her gift for this Christmas
Is to hear that phone ring
“Hey baby, I miss you
Don’t worry about a thing”

Each day I thank God for the soldiers that serve
Ever willing to fight and lay down his life
But how often do I ever remember think
About the young woman who is that soldier's wife

Thank you God for these women
They are just as strong
They sacrifice daily
And without help get along

So God please protect our soldiers
On this holiday eve so late
And give an extra hug
To their wives who wait

(written by Jeannie Lining, my mom, during OEF deployment 2008)

I posted this last year on another blog, but I wanted to dust it off and post it here. Depression and suicides are always on the increase this time of year. Please take good care of yourself, and if you know a friend who is struggling with depression, make it a point to check in with them more during this time of year. Sometimes just knowing someone cares is a huge help!

Depression during the holidays is nothing new. Thanksgiving and Christmas can be a very happy time for some, and a very lonely, painful and sorrowful time for others. Between the stress of trying to live up to unrealistic expectations, financial stress, being separated from people you love and the decrease in sunshine and time to be outdoors, the season is ripe to cause an onset of situational depression.

Military families are not immune to this problem. Depression is an equal opportunity condition. Below are the signs of depression as well as some ideas on how to avoid having a blue Christmas.

Signs:

Feeling more tired that usual

A general sense of apathy, cynicism or anger toward the holidays

Isolation from festivities and normal holiday traditions

Crying more than usual

Eating more or eating less (change in habits or weight)

Consuming more alcohol than normal

More serious signs:

Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness or helplessness

Thinking of suicide or how much better things would be if you were to die

Inability to get out of bed, practice normal hygiene, or dress yourself.

If you experience some of the signs, and ANY of the serious signs of depression, please call your physician and schedule an appointment today. Some depression can start out due to a situation, but it can escalate into a more serious condition that needs proper medical attention.

What can you do?

Yes, Virginia there is hope! This time of year can be a serious pitt fall when you have a loved one who is deployed. There is a normal stress and sometimes even depression that comes when you are holding down the home front every day and on a day to day basis, but couple that with the message that holidays are supposed to be perfect and over brimming with joy and family and it is an awful lot for a person to handle.

First and foremost you must evaluate what is truly important to you during the holiday season. If it’s being with friends and family then make every effort to be around people. Even if you can not be around your spouse who is deployed or your parents who are across the continent from you, there are still opportunities during the holiday season to be with people. If you are new to an area and do not know many people, now would be a great time to seek out a local Church body. Another outlet for being around others during the holiday season is volunteer work at a local nursing home or other organization.

The holidays do not need to be a Norman Rockwell painting to have meaning. If you are a perfectionist and have stressed yourself to the point of burnout because things are not going the way you have planned, it’s time to put things back into perspective. Materialism and commercialism has forced a holiday rush, disappointment and disillusionment that can bring on the Christmas blues. Do what you enjoy doing, but take a deep breath and remember that you are human as are the people you love. So you didn’t score the gift you really wanted to give your husband this year because it sold out. It’s only a material object. Your health, well being and sanity are tantamount to anything that a department store could carry.

Take care of yourself! Avoid drinking alcohol if you struggle with depression during the holidays. Alcohol is a nervous system depressant and will exacerbate symptoms of depression. Eat healthy and enjoy the goodies of the season in moderation. Overeating and binge eating can lead to feelings of guilt and even anxiety over weight gain. Under eating will leave you tired, physically and mentally.

The holidays are a season, and so is deployment. Neither lasts forever, but in the thick of things it feels like both can be never ending! Make yourself a garland of red and green interlocking paper rings. Make one ring for each day your soldier has left until he comes home. Every day tear one ring off and watch as your chain gets smaller and smaller, reminding you every day that this season of separation is coming closer to being over. Hold onto your hope, and don’t allow the depression grinch to steal your joy during the holiday season.

I checked the submission site out and you can submit a note with or without a picture. You have a week to get it to them! It’s easy and free! You can submit to have your message online or in print. I submitted one for my son this morning.

Stars and Stripes Holiday Messages are now open for submissions!

Visit the Stripes Holiday Messages website  to submit a Holiday Message to a loved one.

Messages submitted before Nov 27th will appear in the newspaper according to their  publishing schedule.

 Making a Difference this Holiday Season

"If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

1 John 3:17-18

Charitable giving fell last year by the largest percentage in five decades, according to a new study by the Giving USA Foundation.

Now I am aware that most of us can’t spare hundreds of dollars, but there are “cheap” or free ways to make a difference. I think it is very important for us as parents to teach our children to show kindness and grow a charitable heart. Also, we need to teach our children that charity and kindness should be done privately without the want to be recognized or praised, that contradicts the act of charity.

 

“Do all the good  you can and make as little as fuss about it as possible.”  Charles Dickens

 

 "Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

 "So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Matthew 6:1-4

 

 I think it is wrong to force children to do charitable work, instead find something that the whole family can enjoy and feel proud of.

 

Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.  

2 Corinthians 9:7

 

Sit together with your family and discuss ways to make a difference this Holiday Season, make a list, print and put on the fridge,

I will post several tips over the next few weeks.

Many Blessings,

Melanie