ChristianMilitaryWives

Sunday in our house is really a very enjoyable day. We start out the morning by attending church and in grand family tradition come home to take a NAP. You may laugh at this but I remember every Sunday at my grandparents being exactly the same. My grandad, who was the Pastor of our church, would hit his recliner shortly after eating lunch and in short time be snoozing away. He would stay in the chair for the entire afternoon until it was time to get up and go back to church on Sunday night. So, today after lunch Katie and I headed to my bedroom to take a nice afternoon siesta. Katie is the youngest in our family, and even though she is five, she still enjoys being sung to sleep. I was humming to myself as I straightened the covers on my bed and she said "Mommy, sing me a lullaby." So I laid down next to her and as she snuggled up against me I started to sing . I always resort to Disney tunes when I can't think of anything right away. I began to hum one of my favorites from Snow White. It's the one where Snow White is still living in the castle, dressed like a poor servant girl , doing chores, all the while dreaming of the day when Prince Charming will come to her to take her away. As I hummed this song to Kate this thought hit me: I am Snow White. I am the Princess, living in a world that I wasn't destined to be in. I wasn't meant to be the servant girl dressed in rags. I was meant to be a bride, of a Prince nonetheless! And who might that Prince be you ask? Well He is the Prince of Peace, the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings, and better yet he's coming for me someday to. All of this dawned on me as I sang to Katie. Most women think of that someday when they will marry their Prince Charming as being the happiest moment of their life. I didn't marry a Prince, but I did marry my best friend. James is by far one of the best things that ever happened to me, and although I love him more than even I understand sometimes, he will never be my Prince. My Prince came to this earth and did the most noble thing anyone could ever do. He gave his life for me. He battled the very nature of evil and won, and best of all he went to prepare a place for me where I will live with him forever. Just like it says in the song " and away to his castle will go, to be happy forever I know, and the birds will sing, and wedding bells will ring, someday when my dreams come true" I'm so glad that Jesus has made my dream a reality and one day it will come true.

I've been a Christian for a long time.  Since I was a little girl, as a matter of fact.  I believe I was about 10 years old when I asked Jesus Christ to come into my heart.  I attended a small church in Flint, Michigan called Eastside Unity Missionary Baptist Church when Mrs. Verna Hemmingway lead me to the Lord while I was at a GMA meeting.  GMA stands for Girls Missionary Association.  I suppose, being a part of a group that used an acronym - I should have known then I would someday marry a fine military man. 

Through my life I have had my ups and downs when it comes to living a Godly life.  My teen years were quite challenging.  I've bumped my head a few times, but have dusted myself off - bit the bullet and continued trucking on for Christ.

I have experienced Gods love, wisdom and strength and at times and still pushed God away during certain trials in my life.  I know, I am not alone on this.  It's not easy to write and say I've messed up several times in my life.  I'm not proud of the fact that I have sinned in my life - but I am proud to say I am a sinner, saved by Gods grace.  If I had to save myself from going to Hell, it would be impossible. 

Is there something in your life that you need to work with? Is your relationship with God strained? I've been there.  Ever get angry? Cuss? Smoke? Hurt someone? You are not alone.

I'm sure you can think of a few things in your life that you've done wrong.  If you are like me, you may have a list of things to work on in your life.

While people may not forgive our sins all the time, our Lord is Holy.  He loves you no matter what.  Don't give up on trying to walk the Christian walk.  Hang in there... keep on going!

Here are a few verses to help you remember that the Lord forgives us as we are. 

Colossians 2:13-14  "When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross."

1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Psalm 51:1 "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions."

Hebrews 10:17  "Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more."

Daniel 9:9 says, "The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him."

Colossians 1:13-14  "For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

Psalm 103:12  "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

Don't let feelings of, "I'm not perfect..." hold you back from asking God for forgiveness and moving forward with your relationship with Christ.  God always loves us, forgives us and wants us to dust ourselves off, GET UP and keep on keeping on!

In the last year or so, so many people I know, whether personally or through others, have passed away. Most were not Christians, some were. It has had me thinking about so much. It has made me face my own mortality, leaving me anxious..literally! Every ache, every pain, every infection, etc. would make my mind start reeling, feeling anxious about my own death. I would start telling myself, I don't want to die and leave my children motherless before they are old enough to live on their own and have their own families. I have too much to teach them still. I don't want to leave behind my husband, crushing our dreams for our future together when our kids are grown and it's just the two of us. I don't want my sister to have another death to try to come to grips with when she still hasn't come to terms with the ones she has already had to go through. Besides, before I go, I want to see her life turn around and for her to truly find the peace you know when you find Jesus! I don't want my parents to experience the loss of a child either or my brother to feel like he should have been closer to me or something. I don't want my best friend to reach for the phone to call me, only to remember I will not be on the other end of the line. These are the thoughts that go through my head. Dealing with death this past year has been so hard on me. I am assuming it's because not all of them have been Christians. There is a different feeling when a Christian dies than when a non-christian dies. Trust me!
So, it's not only my death that has had me on the brink of a major panic attack, but thinking of the death of my husband. We are heading to Fort Hood in just 5 short weeks. After 2 and a half years of a TRADOC environment (training) he will now be a part of a real unit, back into the "real army" as he puts it. He will deploy with the 1st Cav. So there's that anxiety to deal with. Sending my husband off to war. What a scary thought. For a non-believer, all of this "stress"....all of these events would make anyone seek a psychiatrist to put them on prozac or something....for a back-sliden christian, it's no different really. You know in your mind that God has it all under control but your heart doesn't actually believe it. It's more like a saying or something you say to someone when you try to console them...you don't actually trust it. Then there are the Christians. And all though they struggle with daily life, they have peace and hope. Why? Because they know the Lord will never forsake them or leave them. When they are facing such hardships as deaths and job loss and disappointments, they turn to the Author of this life and know that His story is exactly how it should be. We just can't see all of it yet. Matthew 11:28 says: "Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." If only I could hold on to that when I am going through a major panic attack. When my husbands arms around me, trying to talk me through an attack and get me to concentrate on deep breaths just aren't enough, I should look to the One who is enough! But I fall into that catergory of a back-sliden Christian. One who believed with all of my heart, felt peace and joy in my life no matter what the cirrcumstances..then when life was good and I met the "perfect" man and started building a life with him, I no longer allowed God to be the head of the household...I no longer turned to God for my peace and my comfort, but to my husband. A simple man who can not fill Christ's sandals. My husband is a great man. He is kind, respectful, loyal, disciplined, funny, focused...all the things that make for a great husband....but he is not Jesus. He can not calm the storms in me when I am being tossed about. He can not hold me in his arms and reassure me that he is in control and that I just need to trust in him. That is God's job. What happens when my husband is on the other side of the world in a location unknown, doing his job, a job I will not know.....in a dangerous country? Where will my comfort come from then? Who will hold me and calm me? Who will bring me peace as I go through each and every 365+ days that my husband is in this dangerous place? Without God I will go crazy.
I am reading a book called "Hope for the Homefront" by Marshele Carter Waddel, wife of a Navy Seal (for over 25 years) Now remember earlier I said I have been having severe anxiety issues about death...my death...death of another loved one? I read this last night...."Yet only His presence can guard my heart, so I rejoice that the Lord is near and remember that He said to not be anxious, fearful or worried about anything! That includes danger, pain, orders, failure, the unknown, things that go bump in the night and even death. 'Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus' (Phillipians 4:6-7)"
So all I can say to that is WOW! There is the answer I was seeking! When I would lie in bed at night, afraid to go to sleep because I was afraid I wouldn't wake up, I would pray for the Lord to help me...to keep me safe...to take away my fear. And even though I had pushed him to the back of my list of important things in life, He STILL loved me, He STILL knew what to say to me, He STILL knew how to comfort me. So am I still afraid to die? No. Because I remembered that God is the author of not only my life, but of my children's,my husband's, my siblings, my parents and my friends. If He chooses to take me home today, I know that He will do the same for these people that are in my life that He has done for me. He will bring them peace and joy in knowing I am in heaven....singing praises to Him with my Granny, Jeff, Krystal, Grandma and Grandpa Hughes, My uncle Erik, Mike Holt and all the others who have passed on to heaven that I knew or my family and friends knew. And while I am in heaven, God will be looking after my loved ones, completing their story. The only thing I have to fear is that they will not accept that simple gift that Jesus gave them. The gift of forgiveness, the gift of life. I want to be reunited with them in heaven again someday, so I pray that with each day I wake up, I can remember to trust in God and to teach my children to trust in him as well.

When I was in grade school, I used to go to my father's deli/coffee shop downtown in San Francisco afterschool. Sometimes, after my homework was done, I would go down the street to a bookstore called "A Clean, Well-Lighted Place for Books," and browse and read in the aisle for as long as I could before we went home. My mom bought me my first book on King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table there (which I still have), and I got hooked on my first Greek mythology there, getting lost in fantastic adventures while my parents closed up shop. That bookstore was a happy place for me, and though I don't have a lot of specific memories, I just remember going there and having peaceful, solitary moments where the wearying reality of life didn't intrude.

Last night, a guest pastor at our church spoke on weariness as the enemy's strategy to wear us down, make us lose our identity and sense of purpose. Weariness, as opposed to tiredness from a day of hard and productive work, is not alleviated by rest and a good night's sleep. Weariness is a battle for our minds so we cannot see where God's Word sustains us and guides us and we begin to trust our feelings more than God's faithfulness. This teaching brought some truth into focus for me and I was strangely reminded of that bookstore long ago.

Now, as a grown woman, I am better equipped to face the onslaught of everyday life: the needs of four children, a husband deploying yet again, friends in dire need, and family members dealing with their own trials. I don't need to go to a bookstore to find my peace...I can carry it with me now that I know my Lord more intimately. But when I don't invite Him in to my clean, well-lighted soul, and leave Him at the door, my soul darkens and my peace flees and weariness overruns my emotions. 

That happened during the first deployment which kept us apart for almost 2 1/2 years. I lost sight of God's promises and succumbed to the weariness agenda that made me lose hope and believe lies about my husband and myself. It was a dark and lonely time and it took the encouragement of friends who love me and mentors who set me straight as to the love and grace of Christ in my life. They served me and loved me and reminded gently and with their actions how God sees me and how God sees Steve. God even gave me my own bible passage that describes my husband when I prayed for one.

Now, my identity is wrapped up in the truth of who God is. Who I am doesn't matter so much, because feelings ebb and flow. But God, unchangeable, everlasting, full of goodness and mercy, HE is my peace, HE is my safety, and HE is my comfort. When I spend time with Him, in my closet, in my bed or on the couch with my kids, the light brightens, the calm magnifies, and hope envelopes us all. Then there is no room in my soul for the disarray of my fickle emotions and unreliable feelings. There is only room for Jesus, solid. And He goes with me everywhere and we have amazing adventures together!

~Nancy~

By Colleen Saffron

I have been thinking on this subject for a couple of weeks now. How often in life do we walk away from a person and event a subject and we never really say what we meant to. Now let me clarify I am not talking about “giving a piece of your mind” to someone or insulting them. I think we have too many people walking around being rude and unloving because it is their “right” when frankly, I agree 100% with Proverbs that says a kind word turns away wrath.

What I am talking about is a friend, a colleague, an acquaintance or someone you have run into who has done something they may not even realize that has positively touched your life. A cashier who although they have had a long day still smiles and asks how you are and maybe even chats about the local weather. Take that moment to thank them, to smile, to say have a wonderful evening… The person at church who takes an extra moment to stop come over to you and say hello, a child who does a little something sweet. These things happen all the time but we tend to focus on the person who cut us off on the highway, who jumped us in line, who doesn’t do things the way we think they should…..

Over the past few months a woman has become a part of my church that literally just exudes joy. I have never met anyone so lit up from inside. I know she has struggles; we all know since she has been through cancer treatments once and is facing it again within the next month. She started coming to our church with no hair but her eyes and her face positively shine. Her smile illuminates her eyes! Just being in her presence can make you stop thinking about what you face and have a moment that shares in her delight.

I don’t know her well, only casually at this time but every time I see her she blesses me. Last week, when I saw her I felt a need to tell her how her joyfulness makes my day. I did not expect it to impact her the way it did. In the moment I spoke I realized sometimes we need to stop what we are doing long enough to let the people around us know their positive impact on our life. Too often we only seem to share the negative and miss the opportunity to speak life and love to another person who is struggling to do the best they can with what life has given them.

I don’t know why THAT day I felt the need to speak except that one thing my life as a military wife has taught me is that if there is something you should say to another in love don’t let the chance pass you by. My need to speak to her was so much so I am not even sure I thought it through; I just spoke. Honestly, we need to recognize we may not get another opportunity to speak the things we feel at that time. You may forget or lose track of someone or even God forbid, they can be gone forever.

I have lost a sister, 2 grandmothers, my father and more friends than I want to think of over the years and they are gone forever. I can honestly say I wish had spoken to each of them about all they brought that was wonderful and loving and fun and special into my life. I am trying not to allow any more people pass out of my life without letting them know what good they bring me. I am convinced it can do nothing but good and really we all need some more good!

Colleens Blog: Deaf Chicks Shouldn't Sing and Other Sound Advice

(Written by CMW Newlywed Member Meagan Eskew)

From My Utmost for His Highest: “Taking the Initiative Against Depression”

“The angel in this passage did not give Elijah a vision, or explain the Scriptures to him, or do anything remarkable. He simply told Elijah to do a very ordinary thing, that is, to get up and eat. If we were never depressed, we would not be alive — only material things don’t suffer depression. If human beings were not capable of depression, we would have no capacity for happiness and exultation. There are things in life that are designed to depress us; for example, things that are associated with death. Whenever you examine yourself, always take into account your capacity for depression.

When the Spirit of God comes to us, He does not give us glorious visions, but He tells us to do the most ordinary things imaginable. Depression tends to turn us away from the everyday things of God’s creation. But whenever God steps in, his inspiration is to do the most natural, simple things — things we would never have imagined God was in, but as we do them we find Him there. The inspiration that comes to us in this way in an initiative against depression. But we must take the first step and do it in the inspiration of God. If, however, we do something simply to overcome our depression, we will only deepened it. But when the Spirit of God leads us instinctively to do something, the moment we do it the depression is gone. As soon as we arise and obey, we enter a higher plane of life.”

Wow. Ok God. I get it.

I have been struggling with depression lately – being away from all I’ve ever known, feeling alone, not sure at all everything I need to do here, being in a spiritually deprived environment. And most of all, making myself feel guilty for not being happy – I mean, I am oh so happy to be with my husband again, and being able to spend almost every day with him here. However, I haven’t been truly happy all the time like I feel I should be. I’ve struggled with this daily since my arrival…. Loving being with my husband and feeling extremely blessed because of this, but also feeling unhappy for being away from my friends, family, job, church, etc. and trying to figure out this new way of life.

I knew this “depression” would be a reality to face – I felt somewhat prepared and thought I knew how to handle it…. stay positive, stay in God’s Word, pray, focus on your husband, stay busy, it could be worse, on and on and on… all great and true things. However, I still have struggled and didn’t understand why.

Our long-planned trip to Italy was light on the horizon. Hope. Something to look forward to, to get away from all I’m dealing with, and to finally be able to just enjoy being with Austin… Don’t get me wrong – our trip was absolutely amazing I am so thankful for the opportunity to travel with Austin, and see things we never thought we would be able to see. It provided much needed time for us – a get-away. However, for some reason I still continued to struggle with feeling depressed… even standing under an unbelievable, beautiful cathedral, holding hands, taking pictures, eating gelato and pizza… I still felt that I wasn’t as happy as I could be.

Over the course of our 4-day weekend, Austin and I had a lot of ups and downs. I felt myself getting sucked farther into a hole… and I finally felt God’s grip on me, using Austin to reach out and get to the bottom of things. Deep and meaningful conversations followed, and I feel like I finally let go and let Austin completely take care of me, trusting him fully, and refusing to let the doubts that Satan has been using to take hold of me anymore and get in the way of my relationship with my husband. I know I am not perfect, and there will be many times where one or both of us will put up that wall of defense again, or will misunderstand each other and not try to find out what the real problem is…. However, I feel that we have grown leaps and bounds this week, and I am beginning to feel the climb back to the top.

A simple comment made by a friend yesterday really made everything click for me…. His wife was contemplating quitting her job, and his thoughts on it were that she is a much happier person on the days she doesn’t work, and coming home to happy wife is the best thing ever. Even if he’s had a completely horrible day at work, coming home to a joyful wife made everything better.

I’ve heard this my whole life… but it never made so much sense to me. I see so clearly how my attitude and the way I handle things – from the way I greet my husband when he walks in the door, to simply having a smile on my face while I cook dinner, or even having a good attitude even after another delay with housing – how I let things affect me, has a huge affect on him and our marriage.

God is working… I love it I’m finally seeing how things are working together for good… While I realize that the struggles and my circumstances have not changed, and I will continue to face more unknowns and frustrations, I know that God is using them and working out my walk with Him through them, as well as strengthening my walk with my husband. Another Genesis week… and it’s beginning with me. Austin came home to a happy wife yesterday, and it made all the difference in the world. Even after a frustrating day of more housing delays, it was a good day. The circumstance did not change, the frustration did not change, and I still shared this with Austin… however, the way I went about it – not immediately “going off” when he got home (“you’ll never believe what happened today!”) not going on and on about it, and not complaining or voicing my concerns about something that he can do nothing about. I shared with him what happened, what my concerns where, and asked him his thoughts about it. We came up with a plan of action, made a decision, and that was it. We ate dinner, watched a movie, talked with his mom and grandma on skype, and had a wonderful evening together…

I am finding the joy in the every day things – not because I’m trying to stay positive, or because I’m trying to get myself out of a depression, or because I’m trying to make my husband happy, or I feel like I have to – I am finding the joy in welcoming my husband home, in holding his hand, in eating dinner together, in cleaning our room, in picking up after him, in laying out his clothes, in every little thing, just because I can. Because I am seeking my joy in Christ and Christ has blessed me with these everyday things – to experience joy. I have been seeking Him and asking for answers… how to handle this, how to communicate better, how to be happy, how to serve and respect my husband, how to be not depressed anymore…

It was in my depression that God showed me how to find my joy again… Arise and eat. Do the everyday things with my husband and realize the fullness of life that I have been given. I have a great capacity for joy and exultation, and I am loving embracing this new-found joy and sharing it with Austin.

I found this article encouraging, and I hope you do too.  Rarely do I find an article that I would reprint in the CMW magazine.  May God bless you as you read this article by Kim Stilwell.

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Even though we have five children, ages 11 and under, I believe that biblically my primary role in our family is to be a helpmate to my husband. Early in our marriage I would sometimes become resentful of this role and think, "What about me?" Though occasionally I still slip back into this old way of thinking, after sixteen years of marriage I find that being a helpmate to my husband has become a source of great joy instead of a chore. I find that when I follow my biblical role I have the peace and contentment that comes from being obedient to the Lord and His Word. I have also found that our marriage, and therefore our family, is stronger.

To fully understand God's Word, it helps me greatly if I am told the practical side of following God's Word. It doesn't help me much to have someone say, "Be a helpmate to your husband." I need specifics on HOW to be a helpmate to him. Here are some practical ways that I have learned through God's Word (often taught by others) over the years: 

1. Pray for him. Recently I read Susannah Wesley's biography. It said that Susannah would often throw her apron over her face. Her children would know not to bother her when they saw the apron over her face. This meant that she was praying to the Heavenly Father. One way I can be a helpmate to my husband is to pray for him. Though I have a specific time in the day to pray and read the Bible, I also often pray sentence prayers all throughout the day. Over half of these prayers are for my husband, "Lord, please give him wisdom as he leads our family," "Lord, please give him wisdom in this difficult decision he has to make," "Lord, please give him an opportunity to witness to a coworker today," "Lord, he is probably driving home about now. Please give him safety on the road" and other prayers like that all throughout the day.

2. Submit to him. The word "submission" is not popular in our culture today, but it is very biblical. We all have someone we need to submit to, and a wife is to submit to her husband. Ephesians 5:22 says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord." I should not submit to my husband only when I agree with him but all the time. Usually I do not find it difficult to submit to my husband, because we agree on so much. We both want to follow God's Word and this leads us to nearly complete agreement on all the major issues in our life. 

However, there have been times in our marriage when I have disagreed with my husband. For the most part, I have submitted any way. Most of the time I find out that he was right, but in the few cases when I have been right, I should not have an "I told you so" attitude. In spite of being the leader in our home, husbands make mistakes, just as we do. These are learning experiences for them just as we learn from our mistakes. Being submissive to my husband does not mean that I can't respectfully express my opinion to him but once he makes a decision, even if it is not the one I suggested, I need to lovingly and respectfully submit to him. By submitting to my husband, I teach my children to submit to authority. If they hear me make snide comments about my husband or see me roll my eyes when I disagree, I am teaching them to be unsubmissive and disrespectful to authority. Is there ever a time a wife should not submit to her husband? The Bible does teach that we are to "obey God rather than man," so if a husband wants his wife to do something that goes against God's Word, such as steal or lie, that is one time that a wife should not obey her husband.

3. Love him. Titus 2:3-5 tells the older women what they are to teach the younger women. Among other things, they are to teach the younger women to "love their husbands." Loving my husband is not just a feeling (though I do have romantic feelings toward my husband) but an action. If I say I love my husband but constantly belittle him or gossip about him to my friends, then I don't really love him. If I send him a romantic card but never truly listen when he is talking to me, then I don't really love him. Love is an action and a choice, not just a feeling. 

4. Make him # 2. Our husbands should have priority in our lives. The only One who should come before him on our priority list is God. A few months ago I wrote a whole article on this, so I will not spend a lot of time on this but we should put our husband above our children (they will actually be happier and more secure as a result of their Daddy coming "first"), before our friends, before our housework and before even church ministry. 

I praise the Lord that I have a husband that makes it easy for me to be a helpmate to him. He is kind and loving and a wonderful husband and family leader. Perhaps many of you are not in the same situation that I am. My heart goes out to you and if I knew your name and situation, I would certainly pray for you. The Bible does tell us that "to whom much has been given, much more shall be required." Because I have a loving husband, God expects more of me.

Article written by: Kim Stilwell; you may reach Kim via email jkstilwell@juno.com if you have any questions about this article.

Photo: CMW dmoore and her husband (dmoore has entered our Valentines Day Photo Contest.... have you?)

Just in case you were wondering, no, the title of this article is not a typo.

I thought it would be apropos to write a "first of the year" article. But, the truth is that when it comes to New Year's celebrations, resolutions, and excitement, I'm kind of a “scrooge”...(If you will allow me to steal a Christmas phrase and apply it to New Years.)

While I enjoyed staying up until midnight and getting my first New-Year's kiss EVER, once I crawled in bed dead tired I wondered why I had bothered staying up so late. After all, January first is just another day.

Some people may say I am sadly unmotivated, as I haven't made a “New Year's Resolution” in probably 5-10 years. And the ones that I have made I don't think I've ever kept.

See, when you make a New Year's Resolution, this is usually what happens...LIFE! You decide to read your Bible every day, go on a diet, exercise daily, wake up on time and never sleep in, or a myriad of other tedious goals...and then you get sick, get invited to a party, your husband calls in the middle of the night, you get in a car accident. Things just inevitably happen to keep you from sticking true to all of those high goals. So after you fall asleep during your Bible reading, eat that all-too-wonderful slice of chocolate cake, and lounge on the couch watching movies all day, you feel like a failure and wonder why you ever tried. After missing a day of success you feel like it's much easier to just live your life the way you always have.

(Is anyone else relating to this?)

But life doesn't have to keep us from living successfully. Yes, it can throw a kink in our well-made goals, but it doesn't have to make us quit.

This is why I have adopted a slightly different philosophy for my life: I take things “one day at a time.” See...what is a year? 365 days is all it is. While keeping a promise or a goal every one of those days is nigh impossible, making improvements each day is much more attainable.

The time where I realized this concept the most was when my husband was deployed for a year to Afghanistan. I would wake up in the morning, look at my countdown calendar, and be filled with despair and wonder how I could possibly make it through the next “x” amount of months. But each time I would try to shake my head of all the negativity and focus on TODAY. I would say to myself, “Aprille, just try to make it through today, and don't worry about the rest of the deployment.”

I had a lot of bad days, but I probably had more good days than bad. Each time I found myself discouraged about the deployment, I would write it off as “just a bad day...tomorrow will be better.”

So, if you have made some grand New Year's resolutions, I admire you for your courage and dedication. But let me encourage you by saying this: Don't let one day of life, failure, or fatigue keep you from reaching your goals. If you find yourself faltering, go to bed, sleep it off, and try again tomorrow. Take this year one day at a time, and I think you will find that at the end of 2010 you will be a better person because of all you have gone through.

“Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it.” (Anne Shirley)

Today is a day of joy in celebrating Christs birthday, but to me today is also a day where I miss my family and all that "used to be."

Growing up, we would go to my Grandmas every year on Christmas Eve.  We would have a great time of family fellowship.  Sure, presents were included - but I really don't remember what gifts were given to me.  Well, okay - the truth... I remember Grandma and Grandpa always giving me a big box of socks, pjs and underclothes.  :)

My parents, brother, sister, aunts, uncles and cousins would go to Grandpa and Grandmas every year.  A few years ago, Grandpa passed away, but we continued to go see Grandma.  This year, I was unable to go home to visit.  Even if I went home, it would have been different of course because I am older, cousins are not around as much... my parents and oldest brother moved down to Florida as the rest of my family lives in Michigan. 

I am in a good central location I suppose.  North Carolina.  The weather is mild and we have a great church.  We have everything we need, yet - I do get a lonely feeling sometimes.  Lonely for family, and this year hubby is not even deployed. 

Military families move around often, and if our husbands are here or away - I think most of us end up feeling lonely for family if we can't go home for the holidays.  Even when we do go home, so much has changed since we are military that it's just not the same.

Not only do we deal with missing family, but many of us deal with missing friends or family who were killed in war.  Soldiers and those who have PTSD experience holiday depression more so than others.  Be sure to visit the links at the end of this article to find immediate help, or if you just need to talk to someone.

I try to remember to thank God for the good things in my life.  For the blessings He has given.  Am I the only one who gets a little dose of the holiday blues? Here are a few verses to help us remember that God is God, He is loving and He can fill any void we have.

"Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me." --John 14:1

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." – Matthew 11:28-30

Remember, when you are feeling down - pray.  The Lord is here for us always.  He knows how you are feeling, and it helps us to talk to someone who REALLY cares.  We all know that the Lord cares about us more than anyone does. 

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ" – Phil. 4:6.

• Army G-1, Army Well Being Liaison Office - 1-800-833-6622
• Wounded Soldier and Family Hotline - 1-800-984-8523
• Emergency - 911
• www.armyfamiliesonline.org - 1-800-833-6622
• www.militaryonesource.com - 1-800-342-9647
• National Suicide Hotline - 1-800-SUICIDE
• www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org - 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: (1 Peter 1:8)

This verse became a precious comfort to me when I was nineteen. I was very lonely, very single, and desperately wanting to be married. While I don’t know that my personal interpretation was exactly God’s intent when He wrote this Scripture, this verse filled me with hope. I knew that God wanted me to be married, but it seemed there were no possibilities in sight. Even though I did not know who my husband would be, I tried to focus on the fact that he was out there, somewhere, and believe in the fact that God would bring us together in His time. While I could not see him, I could begin to love him. It was this hope that gave me joy.

Now I’m a young woman married to a soldier. This verse took on a new meaning to me during this deployment. As military wives we are daily faced with the choice to love someone we cannot see, touch, and sometimes even talk to. The only thing that can sustain us during times of separation is our faith…faith that we will be together again someday soon. And it is this faith that gives us an “unspeakable joy” that allows us to smile even when our husbands are on the other side of the world.

When I turned the calendar to June, my joy-meter skyrocketed. My husband’s return is now eminent and I have begun frenzied homecoming preparations! As I look back over the last eleven months of my life, I am somewhat disappointed. I feel like I could have done so much better than I did, accomplished more, had a better attitude, the list could go on. But one thing I have no doubt about…my faith has been strengthened. I have had a lot of low moments, probably more lows than highs, but I can remember specific times when God did fill me with unspeakable joy, and that joy was directly connected to my belief and faith.

God also gives us this verse as a reminder about the ultimate homecoming awaiting us…when our Saviour will return! Let us not forget to truly love Him even when it seems like we cannot see him.

No matter where you are in your journey as a wife of faith, whether it be just beginning a deployment, in the darkness of the unending middle of the deployment, planning for homecoming, or just living the ever difficult challenges of garrison life … I pray that this verse will be a comfort to you as it has been to me. May God fill you with unspeakable joy!

Written By: Aprille, Proud CMW Member