ChristianMilitaryWives

 

 Wednesday is trash pickup day at our home. By Thursday morning my husband is making strategic plans about our garbage for the next week. He divides the garbage into big bags and little bags with the big bags taken to the transfer station on Saturday. The trash toter is used for small bags and things too smelly to stay in the back of the pickup until Saturday. (The smelly stuff is diapers and the six month old home made vegetable soup in the basement refrigerator that was hidden in the back. We all thought the smell was the boys’ shoes.) I suggested that maybe we should get a second toter to take care of the big bags. That seemed very logical but my husband said that for our trash production and the size of the containers, we would need five. We are deluged in refuse.

We do have a lot of trash. You know it’s a lot when your teenage son notices the trash cans are always full. The teenagers normally do not have this problem in the basement domain because they just throw their bottles and wrappers on the ground. Evidently we were too discreet in hiding the trash cans in the cabinet. From what I’m told by other parents of teenagers, this is pretty normal. They always pickup their trash, it’s just on a different timetable than I would prefer.

 Here’s the bottom line. Even though my husband makes strategic plans on our trash and my son’s recognize the trash cans are full; no one likes making the long trip down our lane to the toter.

What if everyone had to carry their own toter filled with their own trash? I know it sounds far fetched but is it? Think about all the things that penetrate the mind. Normally, a certain amount of that information sticks. That’s wonderful if it is wholesome and pure but what if it’s junk? There’s a lot of junk on the information super highway and that road runs straight into our head which then impacts the heart and soul. Even if you are a person who tries to keep the toter clean, there’s always someone trying to empty their toter into yours. Stinkin’ thinkin’, that’s just someone trying to dump their dirty diapers into your toter.
 

The Lord laid it on my heart to incorporate some trash talking in my Pilates class the other night. Right in the middle of the Pilates Hundred, I reminded the class to be mindful of what we think while exercising. Romans 12:2 prompted me to address the subject of the mind, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” Without hesitation I told the class to take the trash out. This generated some strange expressions but I definitely had their attention. As we transitioned into the single leg stretch I continued with the trash talking. “Here’s the way it is, sometimes I have to take the trash out 5 to 7 times a day.” When I am distracted the trash starts to fill my toter and before you know it, the toter’s overflowing. That’s no way to glorify God but I also know it’s wonderful not needing to wait until Wednesday to dump the toter. God is always available for purification through prayer.

We talk real trash when we constantly diminish His creation or compare ourselves to others. He is pleased with what He has created and it is a lack of faith to see ourselves incapable of being used by God to do His work. That kind of thinking needs an emergency trash pickup. God has so much faith in us that He made sharing His love with others our number one responsibility. He knows that with His help, all things our possible.

The book of Proverbs says the words of gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts. Just a few verses over in Proverbs it says the tongue has the power of life and death. Could it be possible that we can make ourselves physically ill or feel bad by the way we speak or think? The mind is powerful and what we think is usually what we believe to be true in our heart. Proverbs 23:7 reads, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Wow, that’s sort of sums it up.

Transitioning into the Plank series I cued the students on posture and reminded them to keep their power house strong and tight and to stay aligned from head to toe. Knowing that we would be doing at least seven minutes of planks, I suggested to the participants to take their minds off the demands of the exercise and place their thoughts on prayer for someone else. As I continued cueing the students I suggested that with each plank they should pray specifically for a different person. From the groans it appeared they were praying in earnest.

Our cool down time was spent arching our spine towards heaven in the cat position, breathing deeply and purposefully. Our spiritual development requires purposeful prayer time and breathing in the breath of God. Continue to strengthen your power house muscles as you ask God to renew you from mind to toe. Be mindful, trash removal requires an everyday strategy but I know a Good Book that can help you with His plan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When you feel like your strength has run out and you are running on empty, take a look at these verses from God’s Word. There are many, many more verses about strength in the Bible, but these are some of my favorites. I have been so encouraged just putting this list together for you today, and I hope your spirits will be lifted by this as well!

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).

“Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always” (1 Chronicles 16:11).

“For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him” (2 Chronicles 16:9a).

“Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).

LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song” (Psalm 28:7).

“The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace” (Psalm 29:11).

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26).

“Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage” (Psalm 84:5).

“The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation” (Psalm 118:14).

“My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word” (Psalm 119:28).

“but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:31).

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

“He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 1:8).

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:16-19).

“I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).

“May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word” (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17).

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast” (1 Peter 5:10).

Captive or Captor? 
Anticipatory Grief and the Christian

One day a couple of months before Mike’s second deployment I caught myself anticipating ‘anticipatory grief!’ Those of you who have been through a deployment know exactly what I am talking about. You are standing in the shower at 6 am waking up and preparing for your day when suddenly the thought enters your mind “What if I get the call today?” You are grocery shopping in the produce aisle when a thought enters your mind about funeral arrangements.

Anticipatory grief has been defined for a while, but it is fairly new ground when helping family members understand their emotional reaction to deployment. Anticipatory grief is usually defined as a grief reaction to a loss that is anticipated but not necessarily realized. When you suffer with anticipatory grief you may have intrusive thoughts of the “what ifs” and some times even flashes of a picture of your soldier suffering or being wounded. 

I have yet to meet a spouse or parent of a soldier who has either been deployed, is deployed or is ready to deploy that has not dealt with these feelings. The feelings, intensity and expression of them all fall on a continuum, but they are real and can be disturbing, nonetheless.

Grief is the internal feeling we have when we have a loss. That loss is not always death, although that is usually the first thought that comes to our mind when we think of grief, grieving, and mourning. The loss that is grieved can be a real or perceived loss (such as with the anticipatory grief.) 

With deployment there is always grief felt over the loss of close contact, the loss of “peace” while grappling with the concepts of war, as well as the loss of the perception of safety for our loved one. When we are actively grieving we usually find ways to express this internal (and very intense feeling) outwardly. 

Some cultures are very passionate in the ways that people release their feelings of grief — their mourning style is very intense, immediate and more primitive than we, as Americans, tend to express our grief. We tend to internalize things more. It’s a cultural norm and expectation. Even in the Psalms we find expressions of grief that are quite desperate and expressive, so I don’t know how congruent our expected cultural norms are with the way we are created. 

 As a Christian I struggled with trying to figure out this concept of anticipatory grief and what my response to it should be. In Romans 12:2 I am told:

I did not want to just allow myself to succumb to this grief I was experiencing. 

Anticipatory grief is really a very intense form of worry. Let me clarify. When someone has received a terminal diagnosis and death is imminent then I would say that anticipatory grief is truly a person anticipating the imminent loss of a loved one. When the loss that is being grieved is not imminent but only possible then it seems to be, at least to me anyway, a form of intense worry -- worry that something might happen that would cause you to grieve. 

The biggest distinction between the two is for those who are dying and their loved ones, anticipatory grief allows the grieving process to start gently and they start exploring the feelings of loss before the loss occurs. For those whose loved one is in a dangerous job, anticipatory grief is more of a mental chore of tackling “maybes and possibilities” to avoid fear and the feeling of being out of control -- in a sense, worry! 

When addressing worry and grief now, at this stage in my life, I have found a ‘plumb’ contained right in the Word of God. First, I had to repent from the lack of discipline I displayed in controlling my thought life. In 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 we are told:

How do we take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ when we are busy worrying and not trusting in His sovereign and good provision moment to moment? First I had to confess my addiction to fear, and that addiction to fear came more from an immature belief in Christ’s desire to truly save me from my sin. I once was told by a very wise friend that I had confused unworthiness with worthlessness. That cleared so much up for me. In I John 4:18 we are told

I had the reverent and grateful ‘fear’ confused with the fear of an angry father who could not be pleased. 

I had to let go of my own misconceptions of who my Heavenly Father is, and I had to trust His Word and what it tells me about Him. My first step was not trusting or relying on my own understanding of God. I need the Holy Spirit and the Word to light my path, guide my steps and tell me which way to walk. Without them I am stumbling in the darkness! 

After much prayer and study I found such a wonderful and practical tool in a Scripture passage that I had read and quoted many times before this. Only the Holy Spirit can make a passage come to life and give you the ability to practically apply it in a way that is life transforming! 

The passage is Philippians 4:6-9 

This is not merely a suggestion, but rather it is a direct instruction - a directive.

And with that directive comes a promise! You will have peace and your heart and mind will be guarded by that peace in Christ Jesus if you obey! 

When you are tempted to indulge in worry and fear around all the possibilities of what could or what might happen to your soldier, airman, marine, or sailor, ask yourself these questions: Is it true? is it noble? Is it right? Is it pure? Is it lovely? Is it admirable? Is it excellent or praiseworthy? Because if you ask yourself these questions you will not be able to answer honestly and continue to worry. 

Once you put the litmus test into practice and you use it to judge your thought life, be sure you fill your thought life with things that DO pass the test. I used things in scripture and from my life that fit within the description of what we should dwell on to fill my thoughts. 

For example, along with Bible study and focus on scripture I would also think of the day I married my husband and how much I love him. That certainly fits. I would think of the day my children were born and I held them for the first time. I thought of my friends in Church, and my family members. I would think of this Country and how blessed I am to be an American and how grateful I am to those who defend our Constitution. 

I do not want to be held captive by my own fear and thought life, but rather I want to live in that freedom and victory that belongs to a child of the living God, through the saving grace of our Lord Jesus! Through Him I am the captor - not the captive!

Body & Soul

Adding God’s Favor to your Bottom Line

July 3, 2010

 

Last week while purchasing a birthday card at a local Christian book store, my eyes were drawn to the five dollar items the store had to offer near the check out line. Normally I pick up a book or devotional in their sale items but this time I felt lead to buy a movie. The young clerk praised my selection and immediately announced the movie was one of the finest films he had seen. Being a skeptic shopper I began to think, “He really needs to make a sale.”  But he continued, “Flywheel was the first faith based film produced by a church in Georgia. The movie making ministry in this church went on to produce Facing the Giants and then Fireproof.” He went on to say that the quality of the film was less than perfect, but the message was inspiring and motivational.

I was sold; five dollars didn’t seem like too much to spend on a movie, even if we didn’t watch it right away. I thanked the young man and left the store. Most Saturday evenings are spent with my family eating dinner and watching a movie on television. This particular evening my husband could not find anything on television that wasn’t a rerun or inappropriate. As he turned off the television I remembered the movie that I purchased earlier in the day. As I made my sales pitch to my husband and daughter about the movie, I couldn’t help but notice the same skepticism I had demonstrated to the young clerk. “Look, it may not be the highest quality but it comes highly recommended, and at least it will be decent to watch.”

The clerk was absolutely right, it was not Avatar or Transformers but neither one of those films touched me like Flywheel. As I reached for a tissue to dry my crying eyes, I noticed my daughter was doing the same. We both laughed at each other and continued to watch. Without giving away the whole story, the main character is a used car salesman who does his best, or worst, to live up to the stereotype. The salesman buys a beautiful classic convertible that he wants to restore. The only problem is the car’s engine will not run. Through the restoration process the car is not the only thing that is restored. The salesman turned his life and everything in it over to Jesus Christ. Although I have already committed my life to Christ years ago, this movie had my attention. I began to question myself; have I really turned everything over to God? If so, why do I become so concerned and worried about things?

It is very easy to say we commit everything to the Lord but then when things happen that are out of our control it’s more difficult to live out those words. When, not if, life gets turned upside down and we feel things are spiraling out of control this is the time when we really need to put our faith into action. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. They say that the bottom of the barrel offers the clearest view of heaven. The choice is whether you will stare at the bottom or look to the Lord.

Very early the next morning, I stepped out on my front deck and turned my business, Shaped by Faith, over to God. After all, this faith based fitness ministry is His; I am only His vessel in this business. As I handed God the keys to my business in prayer, my soul felt rejuvenated and empowered. I asked Him to do with Shaped by Faith as He willed to do. I asked Him for His favor and that His will be done. In Proverbs 8:35 He says, “For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the Lord.”

As I am preparing for the International Christian Retail Show in St Louis, my prayer is that God will be glorified while teaching Pilates to the attendees and that all that attend will be blessed. I am mindful that God gave me this opportunity to reach others in a unique way and I consider it a blessing to be able to serve Him. His living water makes serving Him satisfying and desirable. His strength lessens our burdens and empowers us to walk out each day with confidence and boldness in our faith.

Watching this film reminds us that everything that is good comes from above. We are the vessels God uses to draw others close to Him. It is so easy to think “big me” but it should be “we serve a Big God.” My prayer is for all of us to give God our families, jobs, relationships, business opportunities, gifts, talents and health. That means everything, including ourselves. When we do this, watch out, great things are on the horizon for all who place their complete trust in Him.

 

 

 

Lately, we have seen an influx of emails requesting prayer for military marriages to be restored. The war has played a big toll on straining marriages. Months and years at a distance from one you care for is demanding, let alone all of the other stresses that come with war. The loss of friends, questioning of life and watching as those you love who are hurting due to the side effects of combat.

I was just sitting here listening to the song, Cry Out To Jesus by Third Day.

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith and love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

When your lonely (when you're lonely)
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

The lyrics of this song are ring so true. When you are lonely and it feels like the world is falling on you… you just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus. How many times do you talk to friends and inform them about your marriage dilemma? It’s imperative to remember that God is your friend, He is there for you. He loves you, God delights in His children… you are Gods child. God wants to see you happy, He wants to see your marriage bloom. God should be your best friend, the one you always turn to.  Let Jesus be your best friend, He loves you unconditionally.

Instead of crying out to your friends about your marital problems… cry out to Jesus!  If you put God first in your marriage... the other things will eventually fall into place!

As I sit here, I have a million things that need to be done.  I need to go to the post office, I need to clean the house, I have paperwork that needs to be done… I, I, I…

It’s vital to ask yourself… where is God in my life today?

So often, we forget the most important things in life.  Here are a few imperative questions to ask yourself. 

-Have I prayed today?
-Have I read my Bible?
-Have I talked to loved ones and friends about Jesus today?
-What is my relationship with Christ like at this moment?

At the end of the day, or when all is said and done - the most important thing in life is not about the dishes being clean.  It's not about your husbands relationship with Christ or your friends relationship with Christ... it's about YOUR relationship with Christ.

I challenge you to commit to bettering your relationship with the Lord... you won't be sorry. :)

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We have had quite a few wonderful military wives write to CMW asking how they can become a volunteer.

Teresa Henning, being the fabulous woman she is - helped to create an application process for our CMW volunteers.

CMW is in need of the following volunteers:

Small Group Ministry Leader - The small group leader for CMW needs to have a strong Christian background, she needs to be organized, goal oriented and self motivating.  The CMW small group leader has a very important job of "teaching our teachers" how to reach out to women in their community.  Small group leaders offer local/physical support in their cities and towns.  The Small Group Ministry Leader will encourage, uplift, and guide our small group leaders so that they may lead successful groups.  The Small Group Ministry Leader should have experience in Christian teaching... perhaps Sunday School teacher, small group leader at their home church, etc.

Forum Moderators - Forum moderators are needed, this is an online only position.  Moderators help make sure conversation is flowing between our members.  Must be a member of CMW for at least 6 months to apply.  No experience necessary. 

Welcoming Committee - Our CMW welcoming committee welcomes new members on our website by sending uplifting messages to their CMW profile page.  Must be a member of CMW for at least 6 months to apply. No experience necessary.

Praying For Your Husband Group Leader - An online group leader is needed for the Praying For Your Husband Group.  This group focuses on prayer, and how you as a wife can better pray for your husband.  The group leader should be willing to encourage wives to pray for their husbands, and should be involved in praying for (and encouraging others to pray for) the prayer requests posted in this group.  Group leader for this group can post Bible verses and words of wisdom to the women in this group. 

Prayer Warrior Group Leader - We are looking for someone who would like to host weekly prayer sessions on our talk radio program.  During the prayer sessions, we would like the host to pray for the prayer requests in our Prayer Warrior Group on CMW and our Facebook prayer requests.  You are encouraged to check out http://www.talkshoe.com to see how the talk radio programs work, as this is what CMW uses for our talk radio broadcasts.  During the weekly prayer time, we have volunteers who would join you on the show to pray.  Its such a blessing to actually HEAR someone praying for your prayer request out loud!

Fundraising - We are looking for one or more women to head up fundraising efforts for  Christian Military Wives.  All of our ministry leaders are 100% volunteers.  Fundraising efforts will allow us to continue our Operation Holiday Embrace program and as well as send free books and study materials to military wives world wide.  Experience in fundraising helpful, but not necessary.

If you are interested in filling out an application to volunteer with CMW, please email info@christianmilitarywives.com

 Being the "bench warmer" isn't what everyone aspires to be. I was reading in Acts today about Barnabas, one MASTER at bench warming! Barnabas's actual name was Jospeh. He was given the nickname Barnabas, "Son of Encouragement" because he encouraged all those around him. Barnabas was the disciple who took Paul and spoke on his behalf to the other disciples. Many were fearful of him because of his great persecution of Christians. He accompanied Paul on a journey to share the gospel. As it would turn out, Paul, not Barnabus became the important leader and Barnabas didn't seem as important. Sometimes I feel like I'm the bench warmer. My husband has a very important job protecting our country that requires a great deal of time and attention. It's a job that is rewarding and often carries recognition. My job as a Mother isn't always like that. Not many pat me on the back and congratulate me on how that messy kitchen floor looks now that I've mopped it. I don't receive plaques or medals because I was able to bake 60 cupcakes for an entire Cub Scout pack or that I amazingly made it Dance Class on time every week. Sometimes though, maybe God wants you to applaud and encourage another person. I think of James and how he calls me his "biggest fan". Sometimes we need people in our lives to be our "fans" and maybe warm that bench. "May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, " Romans 15:5

Memories and some quiet time Lately I have been reflecting on the places I have lived over the last ten years. Being a military wife could sometimes be equated, in the humorous sense, to that of a bedouin. Thankfully the Navy chooses to move us via large trucks and airplanes as opposed to camels and walking, however the constant change in scenery and living arrangements is one in the same. Before I left home, I had never really traveled further than the Gulf Coast. Little did I know that my travels would take me all over this country and others. It's funny how the things that seemed so trivial, so routine when we were young, become almost sacred the older we get. Take for instance the cup of coffee in the South. Every morning my grandparents would sit on the front porch and drink coffee together. When I was older and lucky enough, they let me join in. It became a morning ritual, like having ice cream with your apple pie or something. Little did I know how many other routines and traditions I would pick up as I moved. When I met my mother in law, Colleen, I could instantly tell there were things that were going to be different about living in the Pacific Northwest. For instance, her first visit to me in South Mississippi, she attempted to order hot tea at a McDonald's drive thru. I say attempted because the drive thru attendent looked at her as if she were from outerspace and said "Well I think we still have some that is just now brewing. It hasn't exactly had time to cool. Would you like that sweet or unsweet?" Colleen didn't exactly know what to say and neither did I. I had never seen anyone order hot tea at a drive thru. Colleen, being the trooper that she is, simply smiled and said "Hmmm I guess I'll just have some hot water" She proceeded to pull out a bag of single tea bags from her overnight bag and made her own hot tea right there in the parking lot. I had never even had hot tea before, well maybe like the attendent said before it cooled, but certainly never like this. Little did I know that it would later become a ritual as well. I was sitting on my back porch tonight with my cup of hot peppermint tea, the wind blowing the smell of azaleas around our Southeast Texas home and I thought to myself, "I am well rounded. I am a daughter of the South, proud of my heritage and upbringing. There is nothing like the charm and simpleness of life that holds such a dear place in my heart as the Gulf Coast. But upon leaving the Pacific Northwest I think I took a little of her with me as well. I know for certain I took a very special part of Colleen and my father in law Rick, and as much as my heart ached for being in the south and being "home", I know find myself thinking of them often and feeling a little tug at my heart that might just be a little "homesickness". It's good to be a nomad, where home is just closed eyes, a sweet memory, and the love of family that is with you no matter where you go.

CMF/CMW members are part of a worldwide prayer family. They submit prayer requests to the Home Office to be published in the monthly prayer reminder (Battle Plan) which is mailed to the entire fellowship so we can all pray for one another. We have prayer at the Home Office for more urgent or confidential requests. We also publish the Battle Plan electronically via E-mail for those who wish to receive the published requests daily. Any urgent or time-sensitive requests that we receive are also added to the Electronic Battle Plan (EBP) to enable our partners to pray immediately.  CMF members may send their prayer requests from a "Submit Prayer Request Page" under the members section.

CMW is a ministry of CMF.  If you have not joined CMF, please do so now so that you can take advantage of many wonderful benefits such as The Battle Plan, free study materials for military families and so much more.