ChristianMilitaryWives

(Written by CMW Newlywed Member Meagan Eskew)

From My Utmost for His Highest: “Taking the Initiative Against Depression”

“The angel in this passage did not give Elijah a vision, or explain the Scriptures to him, or do anything remarkable. He simply told Elijah to do a very ordinary thing, that is, to get up and eat. If we were never depressed, we would not be alive — only material things don’t suffer depression. If human beings were not capable of depression, we would have no capacity for happiness and exultation. There are things in life that are designed to depress us; for example, things that are associated with death. Whenever you examine yourself, always take into account your capacity for depression.

When the Spirit of God comes to us, He does not give us glorious visions, but He tells us to do the most ordinary things imaginable. Depression tends to turn us away from the everyday things of God’s creation. But whenever God steps in, his inspiration is to do the most natural, simple things — things we would never have imagined God was in, but as we do them we find Him there. The inspiration that comes to us in this way in an initiative against depression. But we must take the first step and do it in the inspiration of God. If, however, we do something simply to overcome our depression, we will only deepened it. But when the Spirit of God leads us instinctively to do something, the moment we do it the depression is gone. As soon as we arise and obey, we enter a higher plane of life.”

Wow. Ok God. I get it.

I have been struggling with depression lately – being away from all I’ve ever known, feeling alone, not sure at all everything I need to do here, being in a spiritually deprived environment. And most of all, making myself feel guilty for not being happy – I mean, I am oh so happy to be with my husband again, and being able to spend almost every day with him here. However, I haven’t been truly happy all the time like I feel I should be. I’ve struggled with this daily since my arrival…. Loving being with my husband and feeling extremely blessed because of this, but also feeling unhappy for being away from my friends, family, job, church, etc. and trying to figure out this new way of life.

I knew this “depression” would be a reality to face – I felt somewhat prepared and thought I knew how to handle it…. stay positive, stay in God’s Word, pray, focus on your husband, stay busy, it could be worse, on and on and on… all great and true things. However, I still have struggled and didn’t understand why.

Our long-planned trip to Italy was light on the horizon. Hope. Something to look forward to, to get away from all I’m dealing with, and to finally be able to just enjoy being with Austin… Don’t get me wrong – our trip was absolutely amazing I am so thankful for the opportunity to travel with Austin, and see things we never thought we would be able to see. It provided much needed time for us – a get-away. However, for some reason I still continued to struggle with feeling depressed… even standing under an unbelievable, beautiful cathedral, holding hands, taking pictures, eating gelato and pizza… I still felt that I wasn’t as happy as I could be.

Over the course of our 4-day weekend, Austin and I had a lot of ups and downs. I felt myself getting sucked farther into a hole… and I finally felt God’s grip on me, using Austin to reach out and get to the bottom of things. Deep and meaningful conversations followed, and I feel like I finally let go and let Austin completely take care of me, trusting him fully, and refusing to let the doubts that Satan has been using to take hold of me anymore and get in the way of my relationship with my husband. I know I am not perfect, and there will be many times where one or both of us will put up that wall of defense again, or will misunderstand each other and not try to find out what the real problem is…. However, I feel that we have grown leaps and bounds this week, and I am beginning to feel the climb back to the top.

A simple comment made by a friend yesterday really made everything click for me…. His wife was contemplating quitting her job, and his thoughts on it were that she is a much happier person on the days she doesn’t work, and coming home to happy wife is the best thing ever. Even if he’s had a completely horrible day at work, coming home to a joyful wife made everything better.

I’ve heard this my whole life… but it never made so much sense to me. I see so clearly how my attitude and the way I handle things – from the way I greet my husband when he walks in the door, to simply having a smile on my face while I cook dinner, or even having a good attitude even after another delay with housing – how I let things affect me, has a huge affect on him and our marriage.

God is working… I love it I’m finally seeing how things are working together for good… While I realize that the struggles and my circumstances have not changed, and I will continue to face more unknowns and frustrations, I know that God is using them and working out my walk with Him through them, as well as strengthening my walk with my husband. Another Genesis week… and it’s beginning with me. Austin came home to a happy wife yesterday, and it made all the difference in the world. Even after a frustrating day of more housing delays, it was a good day. The circumstance did not change, the frustration did not change, and I still shared this with Austin… however, the way I went about it – not immediately “going off” when he got home (“you’ll never believe what happened today!”) not going on and on about it, and not complaining or voicing my concerns about something that he can do nothing about. I shared with him what happened, what my concerns where, and asked him his thoughts about it. We came up with a plan of action, made a decision, and that was it. We ate dinner, watched a movie, talked with his mom and grandma on skype, and had a wonderful evening together…

I am finding the joy in the every day things – not because I’m trying to stay positive, or because I’m trying to get myself out of a depression, or because I’m trying to make my husband happy, or I feel like I have to – I am finding the joy in welcoming my husband home, in holding his hand, in eating dinner together, in cleaning our room, in picking up after him, in laying out his clothes, in every little thing, just because I can. Because I am seeking my joy in Christ and Christ has blessed me with these everyday things – to experience joy. I have been seeking Him and asking for answers… how to handle this, how to communicate better, how to be happy, how to serve and respect my husband, how to be not depressed anymore…

It was in my depression that God showed me how to find my joy again… Arise and eat. Do the everyday things with my husband and realize the fullness of life that I have been given. I have a great capacity for joy and exultation, and I am loving embracing this new-found joy and sharing it with Austin.

Attention Ladies! We have a winner for our Valentines Day, Yankee Candle contest.

Rose from our Fort Bragg CMW Chapter went up to a complete stranger ((Mike)) and asked him to draw a name from our ziplock baggy full of names who entered the CMW Valentines Day Contest.

Mike was a great sport, and helped us out... Thank you, Mike!

AF Keli has won a $25 to Yankee Candle.  Congratulations, Keli!

The Scent of a Godly Woman

I'd like to take a moment to make you aware about the fact that CMW is endeavoring to raise up groups of Christian military wives that meet in small fellowships, all over the country.

One of the groups that has been started is our group at Fort Knox. Fort Knox Christian Military Wives Fellowship is open to all Christian military wives in the Fort Knox, Radcliff, and Elizabethtown area. The group exists to provide Christ-honoring fellowship, prayer time, fun, and moral support to military wives of all ages. It is a ministry of the organization Christian Military Wives (christianmilitarywives.com).

Our get-togethers are always going to be spiritually-minded. We are not a group for gossip about other women or tear down our husbands. Ladies I would ask that at our meetings you refrain from un-Christian behavior and language. We are trying to establish monthly (and possibly bi-monthly depending on schedules) fellowship times and meetings.

If you are interested in joining our group and meeting other ladies in the Fort Knox area for fellowship, there are a couple of different places you can find us:

1. Here on CMW. If you haven't yet become a member on our website, please do so! (christianmilitarywives.com) Once there, you can find us under the "groups" tab at the top, or simply follow this link: http://www.christianmilitarywives.com/groups/profile/103

2. We have started a group on Facebook, to make it very simple to find new members and make it easy to include everyone in all of our events. You can find the link to our group here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=188530807080&ref=ts

I hope that you will check out our group!

Thank you!

As Christians we are not only accountable to our spouse but to God first and foremost. Christ should be the driving force in the Christ follower's life. If this one important facet is written upon a woman's heart, mind and soul, she will not have a problem adhering to her obligations as a Christian wife.

And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an helpmeet for him. Genesis 2:18

Scripture shows a woman how to be a good helpmeet to her husband. Even when she doesn't feel like being very helpful or loving she tries to do the best she can because she knows it is what God wants her to do. The reality is Christian women have bad days too, but are blessed with God's presence (Holy Spirit) within them for comfort.

God created Eve for Adam's companionship, helper, support and encouragement. It is not good that man should be alone. There are many ways that a wife can bring the assets of helper and that of companionship to her husband. A Christian wife "who fears the Lord" is an asset to her husband in many ways.

In what ways can a Christian wife be a good helpmeet to her husband? She is called to be a companion to her husband in all areas of the marriage, which include emotionally, mentally, spiritually and sexually.

A Wife's Emotional Support

Emotionally she encourages her husband to be the man of God that was meant for him to be. She is an asset to her husband when she supports him in his callings and endeavors in life and praises his continual efforts in the Lord. She should refrain from trying to control, browbeat or boss her husband around because that is not what God has called her to do.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. Proverbs 31:11

A nagging wife is worse than a dripping faucet. If a wife cannot find anything uplifting to say to her husband or about her husband she shouldn't say anything at all. A husband needs an emotionally supportive wife and vice versa, otherwise how is the oneness in marriage met?

It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman. Proverbs 21:19

A Wife's Spiritual Support

Spiritually a Christian wife connects with her Christian husband because they share in the same values and principles in life. And together they raise Godly children and have many fruits of the spirit within their marriage and family. Together they create abundance and prosperity for their lives and they realize and praise God because they know it all belongs to Him.

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12

She submits to her husband's spiritual leadership. A helpmeet does not argue and fuss with her husband; instead she works with Him. Most husbands will eagerly listen to the opinion of their wives when the wife does not demean him. Marriage is a partnership and a team effort that takes considerable compassion and compromise from both the husband and wife. Submission should always be voluntary, otherwise how would it be submission any other way?

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.  Proverbs 31:23

A Wife's Sexual Support

Sexually she is there for her husband when he wants to be close. Both husband and wife have emotional, spiritual and sexual needs that should be met only through each other. God created them male and female for this reason. Eve was made from Adams flesh and bones, which symbolically make them one flesh. When a husband and wife encourage one another in their roles and positions of marriage the sexual and emotional intimacy between them will be a healthy and productive part of the marriage.

The goal for marriage should be of maintaining the oneness that united them. Sexual intimacy between a husband and wife is the kind of companionship that brings them closer together so they will not want outside of the marriage parameters. They should never reject one another unless of a woman's menstruation or if either one of them is sick.

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.   Proverbs 31:27

On another note, women who are loved in the Lord are more apt to be respectful and devoted wives. A woman who is truly loved by her husband will utilize all of her creative talents and God given abilities that she has been blessed with; her husband will never be in need of anything.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.  Proverbs 31:31

by Angie Lewis 
Angie and Franks Marriage Ministry: http://www.heavenministries.com

Angie has written six Christian God-help books to encourage and support you in your marriage and health.

Did you know that February is National Friendship Month?
Lucy and Ethel would be thrilled!
Can you imagine how they would celebrate if they could join us?
I can assure you it would be a hoot,
and would include chocolate!

Have you ever celebrated the amazing gift of friendship in your Women's Ministry (small group)?  Before you answer let’s get an expert’s definition of what that means. Webster defines Celebrate as: to observe a noble occasion with festivities—to show happiness that something good or special has happened.

Sounds like Mr. Webster had experienced true friendship. In the body of Christ we too have experienced true friendship and I think that calls for a celebration. So, let’s get out the party hats and order the cake—we even have permission in God’s word!

In the Old Testament, we read how God ordained feast and festivals where his people would gather and celebrate. Friendship is ordained by God a beautiful gift to be treasured, enjoyed and, yes, something to celebrate.

One of my favorite verses of scriptures is:
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work,
if one falls down his friend can help him up. — Eccl. 4:9-10. 
I have been "helped up" many times,
and that gives me a reason to celebrate.

Here’s a simple and fun idea for your women's ministry to celebrate friendship. It doesn’t need to be in February.  However, February might be a good time to put it on your calendar.

Death by Chocolate Party

• Watch the Lucy and Ethel Job Switching DVD—Use the clip "Let Em Roll."
• Serve refreshments—that are rich in chocolate.
• Decorate with the Colors Pink and Brown—Aqua makes a great accent. (The party supply stores have many items to select from.)
• Invite at least three women to share their testimonies about a special friendship that had a real impact in their life.
• As the director, take a few moment to share about the most important friendship we have—Jesus.
• Make this an outreach project by having women invite their best friends.

Want to help the women in your church
connect and grow meaningful friendships?
Order Frankie’s Bible study Why We Need Girlfriends.

 w w w . F r a n k i e D S h e r m a n . c o m

Frankie Sherman is a national speaker, comedian, and Bible teacher for confer-ences, retreats, and women's events. She fell in love with Jesus at Vacation Bible School and takes every opportunity to tell others about the joy of being alive in Christ. She is a former choreographer for the Georgia Peach Bowl and the Florida Citrus Bowl Halftime Show. Her specialty is in theater musical/productions. Her first Bible Study, Why We Need Girlfriends is based on the relation-ship of Mary and Elizabeth, from Luke's gospel, two women brought together by extraordinary circumstances by an extraordinary God. Frankie is from South Carolina—loves sweet tea, BIG hair and her grand-girls. She believes there will never be another Elvis and knows that her Jesus will return for her soon.

Frankie Sherman | 137 E Peninsula Dr. | Laurens, SC 29360
Copyright © 1999 - Present Frankie Sherman. All rights reserved.

I came across the following topic on Massachusetts General Hospital’s forums. It was well written and very helpful information for all parents, but especially children of military members as they may be more sensitive to war related news.

 

Talking with Children about Upsetting News Events

Comments from: Paula K. Rauch, MD and colleagues from the MassGeneral Hospital for Children

EXCERPT

Dr. Rauch is a child psychiatrist who leads the Marjorie E. Korff PACT (Parenting At a Challenging Time) Program at the Massachusetts General Hospital Cancer Center. www.mghpact.org

All children are exposed to news via newspapers, radio, the Internet, and especially television. And they naturally turn to their parents with questions about what they have seen and heard. For a child whose family is impacted by the earthquake in Haiti, news about the tragedy can raise concerns about their own family’s safety. Discussing these issues poses a special challenge for parents to listen, understand, and answer their children’s questions in a manner that is both honest and reassuring. Meeting this challenge successfully strengthens your child’s inner strength, sense of security, and trust in you.

First, you know your child best. You have likely been through good time and stressful times before. How your child has reacted in the past is often a good predictor for how he or she will cope with new challenges. Think about what has been helpful for your child previously, and use these successful strategies from the past. Most children will benefit from maintaining regular routines, including daily schedules and normal expectations for schoolwork. Children will take their emotional cues from the adults in their world. If we are calm usually they will feel secure; however, it is important to talk to your child about his or her specific concerns.

Second, check in with your child. Find out what he or she has been hearing, seeing and thinking about a new event or whether it has not yet come to his or her attention. Questions such as, “Are kids at school talking about __________?” or, “ What have you heard about __________?” are good ways to open such a conversation. If your child is younger and is not aware of the news, you may elect to go no further with this conversation. If your child has heard about the news event, encourage him or her to tell you about what they’ve heard or what they think about what others are saying. Ask if they have any specific worries. To answer questions and allay fears, it is important to really understand what your child is struggling with before you move to answer or reassure him.

Third, TV images can be upsetting. Turn off the TV around young children or those who may have been upset by TV news in the past. Be mindful that coverage of the same earthquake over and over again can be misinterpreted as something that is happening repeatedly. Watch television with older children so you can answer questions and be aware of their feelings. Some older children need to be reminded that the TV images can be overwhelming and that it’s OK not to watch. This is true for many adults, who may feel better listening to radio reports or reading newspaper coverage rather than watching disturbing TV images.

Fourth, make the most of family time. Spend extra time with your children. Turn off the telephone and the TV during meals so you can talk together. Often parents can identify times in the day or activities that facilitate thoughtful conversations. Sometimes, it is while driving in the car or when a child sits with a parent who is working in the kitchen. Those are great times to check in with your child and talk. CLICK TO READ MORE

Valentines Day Photo Contest Rules:

Place photo of yourself and your husband in the CMW Forum under the CMW Valentines Day Contest. You may only enter contest one time. By entering contest, you give CMW permission to use your photo in upcoming newsletters and announcements. We will never sell your photo, or make a profit on it.

We will determine the winner by inserting all names of those who enter the contest into a hat and asking a stranger at the Cross Creek Mall in Fayetteville, NC to draw a name out of the hat. That's right... we are going to have a little fun with it.

A member of our CMW small group will be the one to approach the stranger. We will include photos/video of this event!

Winner will be awarded a $25 Yankee Candle Gift Card! Winner will be chosen February 13, 2010.