ChristianMilitaryWives

Most nights, Alfred Green still cries. He keeps a single lantern lit to provide a dim glow and finds a certain comfort in the creaking patterns that persist from the old wooden rocking chair; sounds which he once despised just yesterday, it would seem.

With a frail hand he, once again, grasps tightly the neatly folded quilt draped over the arm of the chair, careful to avoid the needle woven once through the unfinished blanket. Conflicting feelings of both warmth and guilt seem to resonate from this one reminder of his dear Anna. This particular quilt was meant for little Sarah, but due to the unexpected death of this dear quilt maker, Sarah's quilt remains unfinished.

To a certain group of heavy hearted children, Anna Green was affectionately known as the "quilt lady", a title she certainly owned with joy. It was a delightful endeavor and not a burden at all, to sew a quilt for every new child at the Hansen Orphanage. Alfred, too, has fond memories of children, though broken inside, beaming with great happiness at the satisfied anticipation built by the other children telling of the great day when the quilt lady would arrive.

"Every quilt is unique, just like you" she would tell each child. There were so many different patterns in each quilt. "There is no other exactly like it in the world", she would continue, "except for this one square", pointing to a single green square, always stitched into the corner of each quilt. "Do you know what it says?" she would ask, about the embroidered words on the green square.

"God loves me", they would respond. Anna loved to hear the children say those words. For her, it was more important that the child remember those words than her kindness.

"That's right, and He will never leave you. Be comforted, child. Be warm. God loves you."

But for 8 year old Sarah, her anticipation was met with sadness, as she learned that the quilt lady had become very ill and passed on. For her, there would be no knock on the door, no children gathering at the feet of the quilt lady as she shared of God's love, no bright smiles as she read the embroidered green square. For this little girl, there would be no quilt.

For many days, Sarah could be found staring out the window, occasionally wiping her damp cheeks as she hoped that her quilt, with the special green square, would somehow arrive.

Alfred had watched Anna stitch squares into quilts so many times, he often considered an attempt to finish Sarah's quilt. But the sadness of her passing and the comfort of the unfinished quilt, especially on the eve of the 10 years since her death, kept him from so much as unfolding it. He missed her kindness; he missed her love of God, though he always felt that God must not love a man whom he takes from. Tonight, with moist eyes and a sad heart, he will sleep in Anna's chair.

As the morning light dissolved shadows cast across the old floor timbers, Alfred was awakened by a knock on the door. Using his cane, he slowly made his way to the door. "Who is it?" he said, in an uninviting tone.

"Mr. Green?" a woman's voice inquired.

"Yes. Who is it I said?", he responded with greater irritation.

"Mr. Green, my name is Sarah". The ensuing silence seemed endless. Alfred slowly unlatched the door and pulled it open. "Mr. Green, you may not remember me, but I was 8 years old when I was brought to the orphanage. The quilt lady, sorry, Mrs. Green made lovely quilts for all of the children", she continued, "I was very sad when she passed, and was not fortunate to receive one".

Having softened his tone, Alfred replied, "Yes child, I'm very sorry. She was...,"

"Oh no, Mr. Green, it's fine!" Sarah eagerly interjected, "I just - I brought a gift for you. You see, while I was sad, the other children each unstitched their green squares and sewed them together to make a quilt for me". A tear fell from Alfred's eyes. "I wanted to give it to you, now" she said softly. "Do you recall what the green squares say?" she inquired.

"Yes," he answered with a quivering voice and tears filling his eyes, "God loves me."

Sarah handed the folded green quilt to Alfred; "Be comforted sir. Be warm. God loves you."
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This story was written by Bill Johnson.  When I read it, I loved it so much I wanted to share it with you.  I wrote Bill and let him know I would be sharing it with you all.  His website is pretty neat and filled with Christian stories.  I have not had time to read all of Bills stories, but the stories I have read, I like.  Here's a link to Bills site: http://www.billjonline.com

Yesterday was my 5 year anniversary. It's been a rough year, sort of. My husband Cam has been deployed the majority of year, leaving me to deal with our two babies (now 24 months old and 10 months old). The babies and I have moved 4 times this year, bought a house, and lived in a barn for a month, not in that order.

But despite all that, it's actually been pretty good. My husband and I have maintained an acceptable level of communication, and we have both matured quite a bit throughout the year. I know we'll have to deal with a period of re-acclimation, but that's something to look forward to rather than fear.

5 years ago, when we got married, I didn't understand how "love" could be any better than it was right then. It just felt so good that first year or two, starting our lives together, getting chubby together. We fought ALL the time, but we were in love, so it didn't matter, we always got over it. I guess that's what the honeymoon period is for, to give us hope while we battle. It's like iron sharpening iron...we were rough and unpolished and, in order to smooth out, we clashed. I don't remember feeling miserable in this time, but looking back, I probably should've been.

The last year before Cam was deployed, things smoothed out for us. We were on our own, 800 miles from our nearest family, for the first time in our lives, and we learned to deal properly with one another. One day I remember panicking when I realized we hadn't really fought in over a month. For some reason, I assumed that maybe this was because I didn't care for him emotionally anymore. Funny huh? But in my mind, love was tumultuous, and if violent emotions, good and bad, were not foremost in my thoughts, I must not be in love. Fortunately, this was a short lived panic attack.

You see, Cam and I agreed before we got married that this was it for us. Good, bad, and ugly, we were going to work through it all. Divorce was not an option, and it would not enter our marital vocabulary, and it didn't. So when my emotions had finally evened out, instead of considering leaving him like some people do, I could for the first time be deliberate about the growth of my marriage. By that time, he was leaving for Afghanistan, so I haven't actually had much opportunity to put this new-found maturity to good use, but I'm excited about the prospect!

I feel like this is the next step in our marriage. Maybe the first real step, after actually getting married. Before, we were were just breaking off all our rough edges, now we can begin to sharpen one another.

It got me thinking about my relationship with God, too. The Bible refers to our walk with God and the gospel as a "mystery." I never really understood this before, but now I'm starting to get a glimpse of what it means. We have to go deeper, just like we have to go deeper in our marriages. The initial "honeymoon period" seems so great when you are in it, but as anyone who has been married more than a few years can tell you, if that was all there was to it, we'd be miserable and bored. The real excitement, the true love, comes from growth and maturity, a mutual respect.

Cam and I are finally to the point where we can grow and mature together, instead of just existing. I feel this is the point I'm reaching with God, too, that I can finally mature in Him and learn His mysteries, instead of just coasting. This is the point in which we "come away" with Him. This is where life, where our relationship, truly begins. This is where my life, as a wife and as a Christian, truly begins.

Are you excited about the future? I am.

Today is a day of joy in celebrating Christs birthday, but to me today is also a day where I miss my family and all that "used to be."

Growing up, we would go to my Grandmas every year on Christmas Eve.  We would have a great time of family fellowship.  Sure, presents were included - but I really don't remember what gifts were given to me.  Well, okay - the truth... I remember Grandma and Grandpa always giving me a big box of socks, pjs and underclothes.  :)

My parents, brother, sister, aunts, uncles and cousins would go to Grandpa and Grandmas every year.  A few years ago, Grandpa passed away, but we continued to go see Grandma.  This year, I was unable to go home to visit.  Even if I went home, it would have been different of course because I am older, cousins are not around as much... my parents and oldest brother moved down to Florida as the rest of my family lives in Michigan. 

I am in a good central location I suppose.  North Carolina.  The weather is mild and we have a great church.  We have everything we need, yet - I do get a lonely feeling sometimes.  Lonely for family, and this year hubby is not even deployed. 

Military families move around often, and if our husbands are here or away - I think most of us end up feeling lonely for family if we can't go home for the holidays.  Even when we do go home, so much has changed since we are military that it's just not the same.

Not only do we deal with missing family, but many of us deal with missing friends or family who were killed in war.  Soldiers and those who have PTSD experience holiday depression more so than others.  Be sure to visit the links at the end of this article to find immediate help, or if you just need to talk to someone.

I try to remember to thank God for the good things in my life.  For the blessings He has given.  Am I the only one who gets a little dose of the holiday blues? Here are a few verses to help us remember that God is God, He is loving and He can fill any void we have.

"Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me." --John 14:1

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." – Matthew 11:28-30

Remember, when you are feeling down - pray.  The Lord is here for us always.  He knows how you are feeling, and it helps us to talk to someone who REALLY cares.  We all know that the Lord cares about us more than anyone does. 

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ" – Phil. 4:6.

• Army G-1, Army Well Being Liaison Office - 1-800-833-6622
• Wounded Soldier and Family Hotline - 1-800-984-8523
• Emergency - 911
• www.armyfamiliesonline.org - 1-800-833-6622
• www.militaryonesource.com - 1-800-342-9647
• National Suicide Hotline - 1-800-SUICIDE
• www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org - 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Were you injured in war? Do you have PTSD? Are you married to an injured soldier or someone dealing with combat PTSD? Please join us at The Healthplex every other Friday evening in a truly supportive, confidential, Christian environment. We will supply refreshments and periodic guest speakers. Single soldiers and married couples welcome. Email patti@christianmilitarywives.com for more information.

I cannot go throughout this Christmas season without mentioning how greatful I am that I get to spend my favorite and most precious holiday with the one who means the most to me...my husband. Having gone through multiple holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries without him, it means so much more to me that he is home this year! There isn't any way I can completely express my emotions and my thankfulness for this, but I have tried in "the makings of a song." I meant to work on this more in the last week but I just haven't found the time. The song does have a tune but nothing I can share yet, so right now the lyrics will have to do. I hope that this song will be a blessing to EVERY military wife, whether her husband be home or far away this Christmas.

Last year the war took you so far away

You were serving your country on Christmas Day

I stayed behind and sent Christmas to you

Apart once again, we tried to make do

Chorus:

But you were close to my heart, near in my thoughts

Our love grows stronger, no matter what

Each year that passes, I simply recall

Having you in my life is the best gift of all

 

This year you're home and I'm happy to say

That we'll be together on Christmas day

I'm wrapped in your arms and our gifts we can share

Time spent with you is a treasure most rare

Chorus:

And you are close to my heart, near in my thoughts

Our love grows stronger, no matter what

Each year that passes, I simply recall

Having you in my life is the best gift of all

 

Next year we aren't guaranteed Christmas day

You could be home or be so far away

We'll snuggle and laugh, or just try to make do

I'll kiss you, or miss you, but this much is true:

Chorus:

You'll be close to my heart, near in my thoughts

Our love will grow stronger, no matter what

Each year that passes, I'll simply recall

Having you in my life is the best gift of all

Being a military wife, I know first hand how difficult it can be to juggle many different things at once.  Lawn work needs to be done, you may be a mother, you are a wife, maybe you work outside the home or are in school... sometimes it just seems like there's never enough time in the day to do all that needs to be done. 

Often times, I find my days seem to flow into each other.  I pretty much have a set routine.  Wake up, eat breakfast, devotions, get ready for the day, run here and there taking care of family business... by the time I come home - its time for dinner, bed and then I wake up and do the same thing the next day.  It gets old, doesn't it?

Do you feel like you are under stress, completely exausted by the end of the day? I recently have been there.  I have felt like hiding in my room, in my bed under the covers and not coming out for weeks.  But, of course - that's not possible is it? Not possible, and it wouldn't have been good for me.

It's important to remember to take breaks sometimes.  Remember, on the 7th day - God rested.  I think that was His way of saying how important it is to take one day to rest, truly rest. 

I find that my Sundays are very busy.  Sunday morning we go to church, then sometimes we go to a local flea market and  I make a nice lunch/dinner for the family. Our church does not have church on Sunday night.  Which, I personally really like that idea.  We have many small groups that meet during the week for Spiritual edification. 

Do you have one day that you take to rest? I will admit, I have to work on that.  I am going to try from now on to take one day a week to REST.  This means, no running all over creation.  No housework, just REST.  Is that possible in todays day and time? It was possible when the Lord created the world, it is possible now.

To be a good wife, a good mom, a good student, a good employee, a good business owner - you need to be rested, you need to avoid the burn out that can happen if you don't take time to rest.

And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. Gen 2:2 (KJV)

Each night, just before her 7:30 p.m. bedtime, 2-year-old Grace Fitzgerald pulls off a sheet of toilet paper at her Hampstead home. The little white square marks one more day without her daddy who is deployed with the Marines in Central America.

Her mother, Catherine Fitzgerald, holds the roll as her daughter sings a little ditty for her daddy. Usually, "Daddy's coming home. Daddy's coming home! Clap, clap, clap."

In the second short deployment of their marriage, Fitzgerald knows the frustrations of being a military wife. But she also knows - with a 30,000-troop surge planned in Afghanistan - that longer deployments are in her husband's future.

"The biggest stress is that anticipation. You're kind of torn because you want to enjoy that time with him, but you want to prepare for him being gone," she said. "Sometimes at night it's harder to sleep because you don't feel as safe. There's a lot of depression, anxiety and isolation with military wives because there's always the worries of the things that can happen in deployments."

Fitzgerald has sought refuge in her faith, hosting Bible studies for military wives. She was recently tapped to head up ministry support for group leaders in the Christian Military Wives organization. The CMW is a social network supporting military wives and a ministry of The Christian Military Fellowship.

Fitzgerald started a bi-monthly Bible study and military wives ministry at Scotts Hill Baptist Church called Operation Hope Front that has attracted about 15 women so far. But she knows there are more in the Hampstead and Wilmington areas who could use the support.

"When you move this far out (in the Hampstead area) you miss out on some of the base resources at Camp Lejeune," she added. "Just to have that support of other military women who know what you're going through is such an important part of our life."

At Operation Hope Front's December meeting, nine women sat in a circle discussing a passage on bitterness in Hebrews.

"Maybe it's just a female thing, but sometimes we're just in a mood, and it makes us feel better to be bitter," one woman said.

"How does bitterness affect a marriage and the children of a bitter parent," Fitzgerald asked the women.

"I know in my case there's nothing more convicting that when you hear your child say something bitter that you know where it came from. And that you said it," another woman answered.

Laura Smith's husband is in the middle of a long deployment to Afghanistan - their fourth in five-and-a-half years of marriage. One of her two boys thinks his father lives in the phone because he was so young when his father was deployed.

The hardest part for her is "living like a single parent and having to switch back and forth from that perfect family life to half of that," she said.

Part of the group's mission is to provide physical needs like babysitting, lawn care, meals or home repairs for military wives "who come to this area, and they don't have those connections yet," Fitzgerald said. Scotts Hill Baptist plans to host a Military Wives Conference on May 15 to connect families with resources in the area.

Jessie Attig's husband is being deployed to an unknown location in January.

"I'm kind of numb to it because I'm looking forward to the holidays," she said of her husband's pending departure. "But I know it will hit me like a ton of bricks soon."