ChristianMilitaryWives

One of the biggest problems I’ve had in my marriage is all the little fights I have with my husband...the little fights about the little things...the little things that an hour later you wondered why they were such a big deal in the first place.

It’s unfortunate, but little fights result in big hurts. Big hurts that sometimes take hours or even days to heal.

It’s those times when I wish I could just go back...let that little thing go. Because if I had only known how awful I would feel afterwards, how much emotional intimacy and love I would lose, and how my relationship with my husband would be hurt, I never would have made such a fuss about such a little thing.

In talking with other newlyweds, I have found that I am not alone in this problem. When two people are beginning a life together, they are bringing their differences to one home...and there will be friction. I don’t believe it can really be avoided. However, I believe that God teaches that that friction doesn’t have to escalate to the point of discord.

How can we combat this? I was listening to the radio the other day and heard this song to which I related so much. “It's so easy to get lost inside a problem that seems so big at the time; it's like a river thats so wide...it swallows you whole.”

I think that we need to weigh our little disagreements as far as their timing and importance. How important is this problem in light of the lifetime of love that we are seeking with our husbands? Ask yourself a question like “Will this really matter an hour from now, or a day from now, or a week from now.”  I think we sometimes get so consumed, so swallowed up, not by the grievance of our husband, but rather by our pride. We want to PROVE we are RIGHT and he is WRONG!! And that’s why we yell and fuss and cry over something that really doesn’t matter.

So next time you are tempted to be upset with your husband, ask yourself the following question: “Is it worth it? Is getting into an argument about this really worth the loss of emotional intimacy and love that I am desiring with my husband?” From my personal experience most of the time it really isn’t.

Now available on DVD the award winning film, Fern Hill.  This Christian film is about true friendship, hope, adventure, and faith.  It takes four young boys on the adventure of a lifetime.  We all have cherished memories of our childhood friends; this film reminds us how sweet that time together was.  It has been awarded the Family Approved Seal by the Dove Foundation.  This is a great adventure film for the entire family. 

 

     Fern Hill is the tale of Colin, his best friends, and the loss of his father.  His father was a pilot and his plane disappeared when Colin was only five years old.  Although there was an investigation, nothing was ever found.  Colin and mother were forced to move on without closure.  She remarried an overbearing man that pushes him too hard.  After Colin has a vivid dream about his Dad, he devises a plan to find him or at least try.  He tells his plan to his three best friends and asks them to join him.  His friends Kenny, Seth, and Bob are going through their problems and are looking for a get away.  After debating all the obstacles and donuts, they innocently prepare for their journey.  They soon find that the least of their concerns is that they are hiking to Fern Hill in the Colorado Mountains.  They face many other challenges - fear, dark, the woods, wild animals, rain, a lost map, and the rumored madman Old Man Tyler’s cabin.  But the biggest challenge just might be facing the truths they find out about themselves. 

 

     Fern Hill was written many years ago by Cole Claassen of Agape Productions.   This may be his debut feature film, but this film is high quality.  The cast is amazing and very talented.  Many were local actors from Crested Butte, Colorado where the film was shot.  He was setting out to make this movie with almost no budget and a crew of friends and family when a friend made a small investment in the film.  Cole says that memories from his own childhood are where he got the idea for the film.  Growing up he had three adventurous best friends.  Also while in high school Claassen experienced being part of a search and rescue team for a plane crash of a friend and their family.  The poem ‘Fern Hill’ by Dylan Thomas, about childhood, also played a part in the story of this film.

 

     The next film for Agape Productions is Tennison Hopps.  Visit the movie’s website www.tennisonhoppsmovie.com.  The film is set in New Mexico Territory in 1889.  Tennison Hopps is a coming of age story about two brothers’ fight to save their family after a tragic loss.  Tennison is faced with the most difficult circumstances a young boy can imagine, and sets out on a journey across the rugged southwest to rescue his brother.  This film is a faith-based family drama about a young boy’s journey from childhood to manhood, with the help of two unlikely new friends.  At this time Agape Productions has actor Tom Berenger (Major League, Sniper, Gettysburg) attached as well as distribution offers with prominent worldwide companies.  They are currently seeking investors for financing to complete the film.  To find out more about this outstanding opportunity contact cole@agapefilmvideo.com. 

     Fern Hill is a touching story of childhood, friendship, and adventure.  The simplicity of childhood is memory we all cherish.  Simplicity like how a three day weekend away from school can make your day.  This film helps to remind us through its talented characters how great those times were.  After watching this movie, you might very well give those old friends a call. 

      Now available on DVD is the heartwarming Christian movie Clancy.   This film is a touching story of a girl overcoming horrible situations in her young life with unmovable faith.  Very entertaining and keeps you on the edge of your seat.  It has comedy, suspense, and drama.  So grab the tissues, popcorn, and Clancy for your next movie night. 

      Clancy (Christina Fougnie) is a young girl abused by her mother.  Her mother not only physically abuses her, but also blames Clancy for her not having a life or money.  She tells Clancy that her life was so much better before she had her.  Clancy runs away to avoid being taken away by social workers and hopes while she is gone her mom will get help.  On the streets she crosses paths with an angry homeless veteran, Nick (Jefferson Moore).  An immoral mayor desperate for re-election plots a devious plan to “find” the lost girl.  He includes the police chief in his plan to set up the homeless man.  With the promise of restarting his life, Nick agrees to keep the girl out of sight.  But when a loan shark corners Nick, he and Clancy escape to the country.  The corrupt mayor now sets his sights on a more shocking alleged rescue/manhunt across county lines. 

 

    Clancy is an emotional rollercoaster.  Viewers will hold their breath in suspense, laugh, and cry.  Clancy is a positive child and even though she is abused, she does not let anything get her down.  She says “Bad things are always going to happen, but being miserable doesn’t have to.”  She explains the Gospel to Nick in an easy to understand and effective way.  The simple truths that Clancy explains to Nick are what bring the two of them together.  As the young girl grows on the homeless veteran he discovers that he wants to care about another person and his own life again.  Because of some strong topics – abuse, runaway, homelessness, bribery, etc. it may not be suitable for younger children.

 

    Clancy is a high quality film and the entire cast is extremely talented.  This is the first starring role for Christina Fougnie, but viewers will only see a professional young actress.  The writer (Jefferson Moore) also plays Nick in the film, does an outstanding job.  The production is very entertaining and brings the reality of the story to life.  You can find out more about Clancy and purchase the DVD at the movie’s website www.clancymovie.com.

 

     Now available on DVD, the Christian thriller, C Me Dance.  This film takes viewers on an emotional journey.  It is moving and suspenseful with a strong message of hope and salvation.  The film explains that all of us have a God given purpose whether we are aware of it or not.  It is described by the writer, Greg Robbins, “as a chick flick with the devil in it”.

 

     C Me Dance is the story of a teenage girl, Sheri (Christina DeMarco) that has danced most of her life.  When she was just a baby, she and her mother were in a suspicious car accident, in which her mother died.  Since then her father, Vince (Greg Robbins) has raised her by himself.  She has always dreamed and trained to dance for the Pittsburgh Ballet.  Her dream of dancing is cut short when she finds out she has cancer.  Unfortunately the disease is too advanced for any treatment to save her.  This is devastating for her and her father.  They pray asking God for strength and they receive that and more.  They discover that God has chosen Sheri to save those around her.  God gives her the ability to touch a person and they experience the power of Christ.  The devil finds out and tries everything to stop her.  Sheri and her fathers’ faith are all they need.  The devil tells them to stop and he will leave them alone.  This is one fight they are not willing to give up.

 

     C Me Dance was written and directed by Greg Robbins of Uplifting Entertainment.  Uplifting Entertainment is a Christian production founded by Greg Robbins.  This is the first film created by this production company.  Although this is the first film for the production company it is not the first for Greg Robbins.  He has been involved in radio, television, theatre and film since 1975.  Uplifting Entertainment has also released a wonderful documentary, Christmas Unwrapped.  This documentary explores the history of Christmas and explains the ‘true’ meaning of Christmas.  To find out more about Uplifting Entertainment and other films go to www.upliftingentertainment.com.

 

     C Me Dance is an extremely thrilling and inspiring story.  The scenes of the devil may be disturbing for young viewers.  This film keeps viewers on the edge of their seat.  It is an outstanding production with amazing dance performances and the theme song is incredible.  To watch the trailer and purchase the DVD go to the movie’s website www.cmedancethemovie.com.  Also the DVD may be purchased at www.christiandvdstore.com.

I just killed a spider the size of China. Ok, so not really, but it sounds dramatic, right?! I mean, there I was minding my own business, chilling out on the couch, when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. I'm thinking I'm imagining it, because I don't see anything on the rug in the dining room, but I get up to check anyway just because if I don't, I just know I'll wake up to a monstrous snake or something wrapped around my dining table in the morning. SO... I get up, and finally see it: this FREAKY looking spider w/ legs longer than a European super model's and about 1000 beady eyes - and they're all STARING at me. OH Yuck!

SO... I start looking for things to squoosh it with - because of course, I'm barefoot and there's NO WAY I'm getting any closer than 6 feet from this thing - it's like half the size of a dollar bill (aka China Town - hello!) and could launch some kind of ninja counter attack against me at any minute, so I'm running around, afraid to go into the other room because the second I let it out of my sight, I know it will go into hiding and begin plotting against me in the night - SO, then I see it, my 2 year old son's tennis shoe. I pick it up and hurl it at the spider.

FYI: toddler sized shoes for spiders the size of China do not work so well in the squooshing department. This knowledge base was reinforced when I hurled my son's OTHER shoe at it, also missing, but not by enough to keep the creature from getting mad. By this time, the thing was spinning around in a fashion that somewhat reminded me of that all-too-well-known scene from The Exorcist. Then, I saw my saving grace!!!! (Bright, heavenly light shines down; angelic music plays mystically in the background) A box!!!

Thankfully, a friend had mailed a package for the kids the day before and there sat the empty box - it was heavy duty cardboard, solid, firm - and BIG. So, I picked it up, making sure it was sealed closed - I didn't want the spider getting inside and turning it into some kind of hideout or something - and I slowly tiptoed over towards the rug, being careful to stay far enough back so that I can duck for cover if I miss and the freak arachnid decides to go all bad-spiderman on me or something.

I find my pitching position, I aim, and in the fastest slow motion I've ever seen, I throw the box at the spider. It lands on him and bounces off, as I take off running in the opposite direction. YEESSSS!!! I GOT HIM!!! I cautiously make my way back over to the area. I see his somewhat crippled and withered body, crumpled there on my rug, and then, he starts twitching. Yes, I said "twitching".

Now, let me tell you, you just don't know wierd (and gross) until you've seen a spider twitching. I figure the thing is a mutant and will come back to life at any moment, so I pick up the box, careful not to touch the side that landed on him gross!) and use it to push him off of my rug, where I proceed to drown him in a shower of Raid. HAHA! Victory!!! I grab my broom and dust pan, and using the box again, I hold the dust pan in place so I can from a distance sweep his nasty little bug body into it. I would have held it, but spiders are sneaky little creatures - you never know when they're just playing dead. Like I said, "China" - this thing was industrial!

SO... I get him scooped up and dump him in the trash, but the little booger won't fall to the bottom ~ I have to get out my gloves and an empty milk jug, and of course, my good ole' trusty box :o) and use them to mash the trash down so that if that nasty thing does decide to come back to life, he'll have to go through today's supply of dirty diapers to get back to me! Beat THAT creature!!!

Now, here I am, back on the couch, looking around, slightly paranoid, and eyeing that suspicious looking piece of fuzz that keeps floating around the floor on the other side of the room. All I know is, that fuzz better be careful, or I might have to go all cardboard box on its mug!

That is a true story that happened to me a week or so ago. As you can tell, I am slightly afraid of spiders. I always have been. Every time I see a spider, my body just begins to tremble with this intense fear and anxiety, and that fact got me thinking…

All of us have spiders in our lives. Not necessarily literal spiders, but rather “spiders” – things that creep into our lives, sometimes unexpectedly, sometimes unwelcomed, unwanted… Sometimes, those things are frightening, sometimes they are saddening, overwhelming, hurtful. Sometimes they bring anger and frustration, confusion, exhaustion, and then there are even times when the “spiders” that appear in our lives leave us shaken and almost paralyzed from their venom… and for us Military Wives, so many times, those things  - those “spiders – come creeping in during deployments.

During deployments, we are usually physically on our own. We have our jobs/duties, our kids, our homes, our yards, everything – it is all resting on our shoulders. It is up to us to do everything; to keep our world around us going when our spouse is hundreds, or even thousands of miles away from us.

In those times, we often feel alone. Sure, there are days that aren’t so bad, and we do alright, but we’ve all had those moments when we just reach our breaking point. The teenager is acting out again, the house is a mess, the grocery store was packed, the car needs an oil change, the baby is sick, the deadline for your project at work is approaching quicker than you can prepare, your back is aching, your college classes are far more demanding than you could have imagined, the washing machine just broke – again, the dog just ate your favorite pair of shoes, and you haven’t had a moment to yourself in weeks. There is a lot of stress that we all have to deal with on a daily basis, and many times, that “spider” we call stress, can fill us with the venom of tension, bitterness, anger, and resentfulness – IF we let it.

BUT, if we choose to look at things through a new light, we can see how God is using those things to work in us and through us in our everyday lives.

For example, remember my spider incident? Well, God used that to show me that He is faithful and will provide me with the strength and courage needed to accomplish whatever comes up. You see, had my husband been home when that horrid little thing came creeping out, I would have been in hysterics, jumping up onto the couch, hollering for him to come and “rescue me”. However, instead, God chose to wait until I was alone – on my own – at night – hours away from any close friends/family – to bring that spider into my life. God put me in a position where I had to make a choice: I could either be afraid and let the spider paralyze me and just give it free reign in the house, which would leave me in constant fear and paranoia knowing it was there, OR, I could be afraid and trust in the peace that He always gives, and lean on Him to give me the courage I need to “squoosh” the thing. 

I have two young children – a 2 year old and a 1 year old. Our 2 year old son is very close with his Daddy, and he was handling this very long deployment well, up until his Daddy came home for 2 weeks on Leave then had to leave again. Since then, our son has been acting out and showing some extreme signs of separation anxiety. It has been very rough dealing with that, and there have been several moments where I feel as though I have just reached my limit when it comes to patience. There are some days where it’s as though all I do is discipline him, and those days are frustrating for both of us. But, God continually renews my strength, and in those moments when I am at my wits end, and the “spider” just seems to be too big to handle, He brings to mind all of the reasons why I love our son so much…

Also during this deployment, our 1 year old daughter began having seizures. About 4 months ago, at 9 months old, she had the first of about 20 seizures. She has been in and out of the ER, hospitals, doctor’s offices. She has seen/is seeing specialists, and has undergone countless tests trying to figure out why she suddenly developed this condition. So far, all we have is more questions… This has been yet another “spider” – one of the scariest. I have had many moments of just completely breaking down. But, every time, God renews my strength with His. He gives me peace in the anxiety, and He reminds me that His hand is in this. He is in control, even when I don’t understand. When this started, I felt so scared and frustrated, and I wanted so much for my husband to be here because there is just something about having your spouse with you that gives you comfort in difficult situations…

But, instead, my husband was on yet another deployment, and there I was – here I am – frightened, clueless, and on the verge of feeling completely overwhelmed, when God brought my focus back to Him. Throughout the past few months, God has revealed Himself to me in so many ways. He has re-taught me how to rely on Him, rather than on people. He has helped me to grow in so many ways over the past few months: In maturity, in knowledge, and in some ways, understanding. Though I still have SO many questions and such a lack of knowledge regarding so many things, He has given me peace and comfort in knowing that He knows. He has increased my faith SO much.

The list of “spiders” that have come out of the woodwork, just since my husband deployed, is so long it seems like (i.e. The day after he left, the pipes busted in our house and flooded our downstairs; our garage door broke and wouldn’t open/close; my best friend moved away; my closest uncle died from cancer; our daughter began having seizures; our son fell out of an exersaucer and about broke his nose; someone broke into our house while we were home; our town flooded badly – we’re around Atlanta and were in all that flooding that went on in September; I found out I have a [minor] heart condition; ex-girlfriends/boyfriends of my husband’s and mine tried quite forcefully to cause problems within our marriage – unsuccessfully of course; not to mention, the whole “I have spiders in my house” thing, etc…) My point is that, through all of those things, God was there. He was right there with me. He was my encourager, my comfort, my strength. He held my hand through the hard things, and shared my joy through the good. When my heart was heavy, He held me, and showed me that He is there; He cares, and most of all, that He will sustain me. He will get me through.

My husband is the closest person on this earth to me. He is my #1 best friend, my love. But, God… God is my Rock. He is my everything. By using all of these “spiders” in my life, God has taught me that relying on other people will always leave me unfulfilled. There will always be something lacking, and I will always have to deal with disappointment, because even those closest to us, even those who love and care for us deeply, even those who promise to always be there for us… they will let us down. At some point, it will happen because they – we – are only human. Our spouses might promise to always be there, but what happens when they can’t be because of deployments or other duties? Their absence / inability to fulfill their promise can leave us feeling hurt, empty, dissatisfied, etc… but God is ALWAYS there. He never breaks His promises. He always has time for us because we are His most important and most treasured job. (Not that our husbands’ don’t treasure us, but they still cannot always be there). God will never leave us feeling empty or hurt or disappointed because His ways, His plans are far better than we could ever imagine. And, even when things don’t go exactly as we think they should, God will give us peace about it because His Word tells us “For God is not the spirit of fear, but of power of love, and of a sound mind.” He is not the author of confusion. God will always make things clear for us. He will always clearly show us His will, and then once we know what His will is, He allows us to choose whether to go along with it, or to act against it. No matter what we choose, He still loves us unconditionally.

So, the next time you are faced with one of life’s many  “spiders”, try not to let the venom spread throughout your life, and instead, take a moment to step back, look around, and ask God what it is He’s trying to teach you. Pray and ask Him to be the vaccine that will heal you, make you stronger, and help you grow into the person He created you to be.

I am in a strange place that I have never been in before.  I am in a place where I am not exactly sure what the Lord has in mind for me to do.

Do? you ask...

Yes, DO.  All of us have things the Lord wants us to DO.  He does not want us to become stagnet.

I have always known pretty quickly what God has wanted me to do and when He has wanted me to do it.  It doesn't mean that I have always done exactly what the Lord has told me to.  I think we all have our "Jonah" days where we question what God tells us to do. 

But now, I can honestly say... I sit, and I wait upon the Lord to speak.

I ask myself, "what should I do while I wait?"

Well, I know I need to continue to do Gods will.  His will for me is to continue to teach others about Christ.  To spread His word, to mentor and to help others.

I have a few different ideas on what I think God has planned next... and I'm praying about these things, along with my husband and our children.

Are you making plans for your life as you want them, or as God wants them?

If you are in the same position I am now in, I urge you to dive into the Bible - pray without ceasing and seek Godly council.

Also my sisters, let us remember to ... be still and know that I am God.  Ps 46:10

It is so easy to let every day life take control of the wheel, give it over to God and listen to see what Christ has planned for your life.

Today I learned about a wonderful new nonprofit Web site called PrayerCentral.net, which offers meaningful prayers for the troops. Read my brief blog post about it, or continue reading for the Web site's official news release:

A Christian Web site dedicated to prayer has launched the Afghanistan Prayer Patrol to help Christians around the world pray for the troops serving in Afghanistan.

 

Prayercentral.net founder Wayne Dillard is directing this global prayer effort in response to the rising casualty figures in this conflict. "August was the deadliest month we've seen in eight years," says Dillard. "I believe prayer can make a difference, so we are asking Christians to join us for just one minute a day to stand with the troops."

 

Those joining the online Prayer Patrol receive a daily e-mail assignment with a sample illustrated prayer. Participants also receive news updates, and satellite maps with close up views of Afghanistan regions designated as hot spots for prayer.

 

Dillard, an ordained minister of the Vineyard Christian Fellowship, has seen what prayer can do. "In April 2007, when the Iraq war was almost lost, we launched the Baghdad Prayer Patrol, and saw dramatic results," he says. "It's time now for us to stand with our troops in Afghanistan and join together in prayer."

 

One special feature is the Troop Prayer Focus, which provides a prayer for the troops of a different base or outpost in Afghanistan each day. "This way we can focus prayer on those bases where the fighting is most intense," Dillard explains.

 

The Web site also allows participants to post their own prayers for the troops in Afghanistan, and agree in prayer with others. Information on the Afghanistan Prayer Patrol is available at www.prayercentral.net/patrols/afghan.

 

About Prayercentral.net

Prayercentral's online prayer tools help thousands each day to touch needs around the world in prayer. Founded in 2001 by Wayne Dillard a missionary to South Asia, and former vice president of Last Days Ministries. Prayercentral is a non-profit ministry with headquarters in Virginia Beach, Va. For more information visit: www.prayercentral.net

The return of a deployed spouse is a joyous event and certainly the answer to many prayers. But as any veteran military wife will tell you, a happy homecoming does not necessarily mean "happily ever after." Both spouses have grown and changed while separated, and you need time to adjust to your new chapter of life.

Here are a few resources to help you make the transition:

1) Coming Home Prayer Card. Anticipating the return of a loved one from military service can be overwhelming. Coming Home Prayer Card can help you relate with your spouse on a deeper level. Included are three ways that you can pray for your spouse and connect with God so the return home is a harmonious reunion. Order from Family Life here.

2) Focus on the Family offers several articles on post-deployment life, including the short-term reality and the long-term reality.

3) Life After Deployment: Military families share reunion stories and advice by Karen Pavlicin is an excellent book full of good advice. It's not written from an explicitly Christian perspective, but I have used it as a resource several times. I especially appreciate the author's exploration of expectations, communication, and age-appropriate ways to work the returning parent back into daily family life.

4) After Deployment. This Web site helps returning soldiers and their families make the post-deployment transition. Resources offered cover dealing with stress, depression, anger, sleep problems, physical injuries and more.

5) If your returning spouse has combat trauma or post-traumatic stress, please check out the Faith Deployed Resources page and scroll down to see several Web sites and books specifically for these veterans and their families.

Also check out Happily Ever After?, a Faith Deployed excerpt.

What other resources have you found to be helpful in that post-deployment transition period? Please leave comments!

This blog post originally appeared at www.faithdeployed.com.

AVBI is providing a medical alert dog tag and a tri-fold credit-card sized identity card in a small carrying case, to American Veterans who have suffered brain injuries. For veterans who may be r endered helpless due to seizure or other medical condition(s); the dog tag will alert medical personal to the identity card for further information. The identity card not only contains medical conditions and pertinent information; it lists common impairments and can be used to help a brain injured veteran better communicate their difficulties, particularly in times of stress. 

November 13-15

The Sista Hood Retreat in Fort Fisher, NC is designed to connect women from verious churches and backgrounds, bringing them together to worship our Lord and Savior, grow in our walk and other fellowship with other sisters. 

The cost of the retreat is only $75.  This includes lodging for Friday and Saturday night.  All meals on Saturday are included.  We will not be providing food Friday evening or Sunday morning.

All women are welcome.  Registration is open until October 25.  You may register after October 25, but there will be a $10 late fee.

All questions may be directed to Michele Price.  Michele@micheleprice.net

Come and be blessed!

Retreat speakers are Michele Price and Patti Katter.  All women (military and civilian) are welcome!