ChristianMilitaryWives

The Scent of a Godly Woman

I wanted to share something that hit me while in Church yesterday. One of the verses the Pastor quoted was Romans 8:28 " And we know that in all things God works for the good for those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (NIV). He read that verse and then made the comment that not all things that happened to us would be good but that God would use them for good.
Wow!
Ok, so I basically tuned out for a few minuets after he said that ( sorry Pastor Brinker!) because I had to look a bit more closely at that verse. The KJV says this "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."
Now, the sermon yesterday was how pivotal circumstances could grow your faith and the Pastor used the death and resurrection of Lazarus as his example and he talked about how Lazarus died so that others would believe in God.
Again, WOW!!!
Now, this is one of those verses that you here Christians quote all the time, especially to other Christians who may be going through difficult times or questioning what God is doing in their lives. I myself have actually avoided quoting this verse to others or to myself because I felt like it was saying that good should always come to me just because I love God and we all know that just because we are saved by grace doesn't mean our lives are magically easy.
So, as I looked more closely at the words in this verse and thought about what Pastor Brinker said it just hit me- anything that happens in our lives, good, bad, or ugly, God can use it for good because we love Him.

• All things - This means the good that happens in our lives as well as the painful and the bad
• Work together for good - This means that God is going to use the things that happen in our lives for good; the good of growing your faith or the good of bringing others to Christ
• To them that love God - God does this because we love Him and we are called to His purpose which is to bring others to Christ

God didn't promise us an easy life when we decided to follow Him and in John 16:33 he says "....in this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." NIV

In Romans 5: 3-5 we see that we should "...rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." NIV

I now have a better understanding of this verse and will not think of it as the pat answer to a Christian suffering but as the reason that suffering happens, for God's good, for our good even though when your going through trials you don't see how there can be any good that can come out of it and yet this verse assures us that the things in our lives aren't just random happenings with no meaning or purpose and that makes me feel better.

But I still don't like the bad things!

My children and I have recently had the privilege & blessing of spending several weeks with my cousins-in-law. Throughout the last two weeks or so of our stay, our twelve-year-old cousin, Josh, and I sort of battled it out between surprise attack tickling/wrestling matches (initiated by Josh) and ice fights (presumably where he would daily put large pieces of ice down my back at the most unexpected and inopportune moments!)

So, I began planning my counter attack. I just let the wheels turn, and gave no sign of what I was thinking. Once I came up with a plan, however, I did give him a simple warning: “I’ll get you back; don’t worry. It’s coming, and it will be good, and it will be unexpected.” Daily, Josh would ask me countless times what I was up to. He would smugly remind me, “You still haven’t gotten me yet”, but as the days wore on, I could see him relax, thinking I’d forgotten all about my plan for revenge. Little did he know…

I set my alarm for VERY early on my last morning there. When it went off, I got up and began filling a large pitcher full of very cold ice water. Josh’s parents, Cam & Marilyn, and his sister, Jessie, all knew what was coming (I’d asked their permission to do this ahead of time), so they got up with me (Apparently, Josh is quite the prankster, so they wanted to see him put in his place as well, haha). We snuck quietly into Josh’s dark room, and I tiptoed over to his bed where he was sleeping so soundly, bundled up in his nice, warm, cozy blanket. Jessie had the camera rolling, and Cam was in charge of the lights, so I pulled back the covers slightly, careful not to pull them all the way off ~ we didn’t want him to wake up too soon ~ and whispered, “Turn on the light”… Suddenly, the room was lit up, bright and almost blinding, when I ripped the rest of the covers back and doused Josh in the icy water! He awoke startled and screaming, scared and shocked, unsure of what was happening. It took him a minute or two to calm down, as Marilyn sat on the dry corner of his bed quietly telling him, “Josh, it’s ok. It’s us. We’re here” as he sat there trembling with teary eyes as he began to realize what had happened.

I realized something myself this morning… This is often how Satan works in our lives. See, Satan does not know all things as God does, so he has to use other methods to get to us. He observes us and he learns what and where our weaknesses are, as well as our strengths. He studies us as intricately as necessary, in order to figure out the best way to get at us… the best way to trip us up, and when he figures that out, he keeps at it, mercilessly trying to succeed in hindering, and even stopping, our walk with God.

Sometimes, he (Satan) will lash out as Josh did. He will plan surprise attacks that can come out of the blue, sometimes knocking us down, other times, we are able to fend them off fairly easily. Sometimes, we see them coming, or even if we don’t see them or know exactly when they’re coming, we are alert because we do know they could happen at any moment, so we keep our guard up and say, “Get thee behind me Satan” (Mark 8:33).

Then, there are those times when we let our guard down. We either haven’t been attacked much lately, or we’ve had no problem fending off the attacks, so we gradually become complacent, even proud or smug, in a way, and we forget that, at any moment, an attack could come and if we aren’t ready for it, we could lose the battle.

Though Josh and I were just playing a game, it’s just like my strategic early morning attack on him. It wasn’t that I’d forgotten about him; instead, I was waiting for the right moment to “attack”. I had to wait until he was not on guard, and would not be able to do any change-ups on me, possibly deterring my plan of action.

Satan does that same thing. Sometimes, he will step back, he will sit, and wait, and watch, allowing us to “recover”, thinking that we have “finally succeeded” in fending him off for good; he lets us think that we are so good that he couldn’t possibly get one over on us. He leaves things alone, allowing us to not only enjoy, but get used to, how good (by our standards) things are. He gives us just enough time to “forget” (or at least, put on the back burner) all of those little attacks from before… And as he waits, he is planning something major; something that will hopefully (in his eyes) shake us to our core. He will choose just the right moment, when we are complacent, unexpecting, and as unprepared as possible, and he will attack, without warning, without concern, without mercy. He will do whatever he can to leave us shaken, feeling helpless and unprotected, scared and alone.

But in those times, God is there. Even when we fall under attack, God is right there beside us. He knew ahead of time what was coming, even when we did not. In fact, just as I went to Cam and Marilyn for permission before launching my surprise attack on Josh, Satan must go to God for permission before he can do anything to us (i.e. Job 1). God “will never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews  13:5), and just as Marilyn sat by Josh on his icy, wet bedside, God is by our side saying, “It’s ok, I’m right here.” It’s just a matter of listening to Him. You see, when those attacks come, we have a choice to make: we can either get caught up in the moment of the battle, and find ourselves lost in the minefield Satan has set before us, OR… we can choose to keep our eyes on Jesus. We can choose to “be still, and know that [He is] God” (Psalm 46:10). When the battle is raging around us, and we are disoriented, unsure of what to do, not knowing what is coming, or even, at times, what is happening all around us, and we feel completely shaken to our core, we can focus on that “still small voice” (I Kings 19:11-13). You see, as the battles ~ the winds and the rains, the earthquakes and fires ~ rage around us in our lives, God is there. He is not in those things, but He is in us, His children, and if we listen with our hearts, we will hear his “still small voice”, reminding us that “it’s ok” because He is there, and we are His.

I believe that many times, God allows Satan to attack us in our lives in order to bring us closer to Him (God). Sometimes, we get so caught up in everything else, that we forget about His “still small voice”, just as Josh didn’t hear my whisper in his room, and we tune it out… When we stop listening to God in the small ways, He uses/allows bigger things to get our attention. It’s like the refiner’s fire: sometimes, we have to go through the fire to burn away all that extra “stuff” that builds up, gradually blocking our view of God, separating us from Him, and His hand in our lives. In order to get rid of all the junk, all the little things that we hold on to that keep us from seeing Him and hinder us from walking with Him regularly, He has to allow it to be burned away. It’s not always easy or fun or pleasant; sometimes, it’s shocking, and painful, and hard. But in the end, it’s what is best for us because it puts us in our place ~ in the place and the condition that God wants us to be in.

So, the next time you find yourself under attack – expected or not – keep your focus on God. Remember that He will only allow these attacks if there is a good purpose for it. James 4:8 says, “Draw close to God and He will draw close to you”… take heed of that and draw yourself close to Christ Jesus, the King of Glory (Colossians), and let Him strengthen your faith. Let Him lead you to victory. Don’t forget that the war is already won; we are just making our way back across the battlefield, and Satan is there, throwing fits of anger and fury, refusing to accept The Truth.

But, "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test,

he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him"... ~

James 1:12. I'm praying tonight for God's strength in overcoming the trials and

temptations that seem to crowd their way into our daily lives. May we choose to trust in

and rely on Him, Christ Jesus, the King of Glory, for He will see us through. He is there,

right beside us, just waiting for us to acknowledge Him and let Him lead us to victory.

Do you have the gift of Biblical discernment? You may be thinking you don't even know what “Biblical discernment” is.  Biblical discernment is knowing the difference between right and wrong.  Most of us have discernment to a certain extent, you know.. that "gut feeling."

"Do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world" (1 John 4:1).

According to Peter, God "has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence" (2 Peter 1:3).

I Thessalonians 5:21-22 teaches that it is the responsibility of every Christian to be discerning: “But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil.”

As military wives, we travel often and meet new people.  When meeting new potential friends, you can use the discrenment that Christ gives you so that you can make good - God honoring friendships that will last a life time. 

I am not saying to pass judgment on those you come in contact with, but I am telling you that by using Biblical discernment you are going to know in your heart who may be a good, God honoring friend to you.

Not only will Biblical discernment help you in finding good friends when you move but a good church.  If you do not have Biblical discernment it could lead you to failure when trying to distinguish between truth and error.  This leaves us subject to all manner of false teaching.

Discernment is an area where most believers stumble. They have little ability to measure the things they are taught against the infallible word of God, and they end up engaging in all kinds of unbiblical decision-making and behavior.  Basically, they are not armed in Gods word. Discernment is used at every point in daily activities. God’s Word provides us with the needed discernment about every issue of life.

What can you do to use Biblical Discernment more? Memorizing Bible verses will help us to understand the bible more and will improve our relationship with God and help us when in a situation that needs discernment.

"And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." Philippians 1:9-11

We are carefully walking our way through the book of John in BSF. Last week we studied the 9th Chapter. I love it when I study familiar passages and see things in a different way than I had in the past. I know the Spirit is at work in us and as He transforms us by the renewing of our minds, the Word's meaning grows deeper and wider. It truly is a life spring and a well that never runs dry! 

 The first six verses of Chapter 9 tell the story of the man blind from birth and who was transformed by Jesus' touch. I say transformed instead of healed because the notion of "healing" is to return one to a healthy state -- this man had never been able to see, and some theologians even believe the man may have been born with no eyes or very deformed eyes. He was not "returned" to a previous state -- he was given something he had never had before! 

 The story is quite gripping as we watch the destiny of a blind man, just doing his daily living, unfold and a miracle beyond miracles is performed. Jesus took mud He fashioned from nothing more than His own spit and the dirt at His feet.  He put the mud on the man's eyes and told him to bathe in the pool of Siloam. The man had a responsibility and had to obey a command to reap the benefit of this miracle that had been freely offered to him by Jesus. 

As I read and contemplated this story I was reminded and deeply convicted that my own faith is also a miracle. I was not merely healed from my condition. I was not "restored" to righteousness! I was dead in my sin and hopeless. Jesus performed the miracle of redemption for me on the cross. Through Him I am righteous. Through Him I have hope. Through Him I have life abundant and life everlasting! Just like the blind man, and I too have a responsibility to obey my Savior and do what He has asked me to do. 

It's not always easy though, is it? One day we feel confident and we have all the faith in the world -- or so it seems. Then on the next day we feel lost. We feel like we have nothing to offer. We are so painfully aware of our own shortcomings and deficits that we are embarrassed to even give what we have to give. We all struggle through these feelings. It's part of our human condition and struggle. We are quick to take our eyes off of our Savior and focus back on "self."

Sisters, let me remind you that in the loving hands of our Lord and Savior miracles can happen! The Lord took the most primitive materials available to Him and used them in the miracle of the man blind since birth. The mud didn't perform the miracle. The spit didn't perform the miracle. Jesus performed the miracle, and He chose to use common materials as His tools. 

I know that I often feel about as useful as mud. It brings me great comfort to remember that in Jesus' hands nothing is ordinary. In Jesus' hands what I have to offer can be used because of what He does with it, not because of what I can accomplish.  

********************
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength,
But sometimes I wonder what He can do through me;
No great success to show, No glory on my own,
Yet in my weakness He is there to let me know . . .

CHORUS
His strength is perfect when our strength is gone;
He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on.
Raised in His power, the weak become strong;
His strength is perfect, His strength is perfect.

We can only know
The power that He holds
When we truly see how deep our weakness goes;
His strength in us begins
Where ours comes to an end.
He hears our humble cry and proves again . . .

(chorus) 

His Strength is Perfect -- Steven Curtis Chapman
 

It's not too late to start reading your Bible if you want to read it through in 2010.  Have you ever read your Bible through in a year? It seems like we all have good intentions on doing so, and then something happens where you think, "I will just miss today, I'll make up my reading tomorrow."

I know, I have had that thought before... I'm not going to lie.  The next thing you know, you are half way through the year and your Bible is only picked up on Sundays... if that.

Manna Church in Fayetteville, NC has a fantastic resource I'd like to share with you.  It's called Around The Word in 360 Days.  You can CLICK HERE to download the 360 schedule. 

While, I encourage you to read the Bible through in one year - it may take you longer than a year to read through.  I encourage you as you read to not only read words, but to take in the words that you read.  To think about the words, ponder on the words, pray before and after you read. 

What do I pray? Pray that the Lord will give you insight, that He will speak to you and that you will have the spiritual ears to listen to what He is speaking.

Many blessings to you this 2010.  God bless you as you read His living word!

In the beginning, there was the Word. The Word was with God and the Word was God. This is really where the Christmas story begins, before the beginning of time.

In the beginning, there was God, the Father, the Son, and the Spirit, dwelling together. God decided to make man in His own image, to fellowship and commune with Him. We betrayed God, and not understanding the gift of being with Him, we wanted to be better than Him. We traded eternal communion and relationship for sin, sickness and death.

There was only one way for humanity to be redeemed. Only one way for our tainted blood to be purified, and that was with the blood of One who was perfect. He had to go of His own volition, and His Father had to send Him.

There is no way for our minds to comprehend this. There is no allegory, no metaphor, nothing to compare it to. There was a God, pure and perfect, dwelling as One with his Father and Spirit, omniscient and omnipotent. He lived forever in the spiritual realm, a kingdom of light and beauty. He made a people He loved but did not love Him back, and even though they did not love Him, He decided to give His blood for them.

He came to earth. He came from the best possible circumstances to the worst. The surrounding conditions, from heaven to a barn, were not the worst of it. He was physically cut off from his Father, from His Spirit. He came, not as even a great man, but as a helpless baby; as far as the world knew, an illegitimate son born like a barn animal. He was born to manual labor and snide remarks, ridicule. Because of His birth, evil men plotted His death and murdered innocent babies. He traded in His royal mantle for one of shame.

This is the story of Christmas. There is a God who became man. We skip the God part and go straight to the becoming man part, but really, it’s the understanding of the deity that is the True Meaning of Christmas. But it’s so much more than that; it is the True Meaning of Life.

If Christmas is the one day of the year we meditate on Jesus’ divinity and His descent into the world, then we are sorely lacking. If we have to battle through the commercialism of this day to teach our children a lesson we can’t bother with the rest of the year, we are ineffective Christians at best.

The Bible tells us to be either hot or cold, not to be lukewarm Christians. What is more lukewarm than setting aside only one day of the year to dwell on the basic tenets of our Christianity?

We should not be afraid to feast on Christmas. We should not be afraid to give our children gifts, good and plenty. We should not be afraid to give ourselves over to celebration this one day, because we should be in the habit of dwelling on the Christmas story every day of the year. The gifts, the food, the festivity should not be a distraction from our mediation on True Meaning of Christmas; it should be the culmination of it.

“Dear Jesus, we do not understand what You gave up to come to earth to be one of us, the best of us. Even though we do not understand, we thank You. We love how You love us, we love how You first loved us, before we even existed. Please give us revelation and understanding of who You are and what You did for us.

“Thank You Father, for giving your Son to us, for His life as a man and death on a cross. Thank You for His resurrection and His imminent return. We unite with the Spirit and ask for His quick arrival. We say, ‘come.’

“Forgive us our lethargy and apathy, and change our hearts. Thank you. Amen.”

 White Candy

White symbolizes the Virgin Birth and the sinless nature of Jesus

Hard Candy

Symbolizes the solid rock, the foundation of the Church and the firmness of the promise of God

Peppermint Flavor

Like that of the biblical herb Hyssop which was used for medicinal purposes and symbolizes healing

“J” Shape

To represent  the name of Jesus who came to earth as our Savior. It could also represent the staff of the “Good Shepherd” with which He reaches down into  the ditches of the world to lift out the fallen lambs who like sheep have gone astray.

Red Stripes

Red color symbolizes the atoning sacrifice

Large Red Stripes

Blood shed by Christ on the cross so that we could have the promise of eternal life.

Smaller Stripes

The stripes of scourging Jesus received by which we are healed. Three stripes also symbolize Trinity- Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Candy

Meant to be broken and shared, just as His body was broken that we might share in His inheritance and also that we might share it with others.

John 6:5-11 (NIV)
⁵When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, "Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?" ⁶He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do. ⁷Philip answered him, "Eight months' wages[a] would not buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!" ⁸Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, spoke up, ⁹"Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?" ¹⁰Jesus said, "Have the people sit down." There was plenty of grass in that place, and the men sat down, about five thousand of them. ¹¹Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.

***********************

I don't know about you, but when I read this passage I can empathize with Jesus' position. Have you ever hoped to just sit down and relax when all of a sudden a problem of mob proportions comes right at you? Isn't it always something ladies? The kids have the flu, deployment is coming soon, you need to move and the car breaks down - it seems at times that the demands of life can get the best of us. 
 
In the passage above we see our Lord just sitting down to celebrate the Passover feast with His disciples. He was a hunted man at this time and He would not allow one thing to happen outside of the sequence of events that His Father had ordained. Jesus had already performed incredible miracles and managed to become the #1 on the most wanted list by the authorities for His work on the Sabbath and equating Himself with God.  

We see in our passage Jesus sitting with His disciples after delivering the most profound Christological discourse in scripture (John 5). He certainly deserved a rest and some peace and quiet after all of that! He sits down and as he does so he looks and sees a crowd of around 5000 people approaching them.

Watch the Master at work and learn from His response! If you were to watch me you might see a frustrated woman who does not want to be bothered when she feels she deserves a good rest! 

At this point in Jesus' ministry, His disciples had already witnessed a great deal from the "Son of Man" they followed. He had turned water into wine in front of them, cleaned the temple of money changers, healed the blind, healed from a distance, and reached out to a Samaritan woman and changed her life forever, to name a few! He was not a stranger to them -- or was He?

Jesus turns to one of His beloved disciples, Philip and asks a pretty reasonable question. Scripture reveals to us that Jesus asked this question in order to test Philip. Christ simply wanted to know how much it would cost to feed the approaching crowd. Philip immediately does the math and tells the Lord the grim news. It's impossible.

Later in the book of John (Chpt. 14) Jesus asks Philip "Don't you know me, Philip? Even after I've been with you such a long time?" Philip was standing in the presence of God incarnate, but he relied on his own understanding of the problem at hand.  His skills as a mathematician caused him to be short sighted. 

Suddenly, Andrew chimes in with some resources to help out with the problem. Andrew found some resources. Sure, it wasn't barely enough for one man, but Andrew must have remembered what Jesus had done in the past. Andrew spoke up in faith. He knew that 5 small barley loaves (probably the size of rolls) and 2 small fish could not satisfy the crowd, but he knew in the hands of Jesus something good would happen. 

There is, however, one unsung hero in this story.  Andrew said to Jesus "Here is a boy with ..."  More than likely this little boy did not have much - this may have been his lunch or supper that he had been carrying. Regardless it was rightfully his, but he shared it. He gave the loaves to Jesus in order to perform the miracle. Jesus could have done the miracle without anything in His hands, but doesn't it say a lot that He took an offering from an unknown child to feed a multitude of men?

In Matthew 18:3 the disciples were asking Jesus who is the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven. Jesus provides them with an answer they probably were not expecting.: 

³And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

How do you respond when you are facing impossible odds? What is your answer when you are approached by a mob (or angry groups of tired and hungry children)? What do you do when you are being asked to do something that seems to big for you to do?

Do you respond like Philip and forget what the Lord has already done for you? Do you forget what He is capable of? Do you lack the faith to trust Him and rely on your own skills and understanding?

Do you respond like Andrew and offer the Lord some resources, but maybe you still are a little unsure of how He is going to pull it all off? Do you hand your life to Christ with reservations?

Do you respond like the child? Do you give the Lord all you have? Do you trust that He can take even the smallest amount of what you have to share and use it to build His kingdom? Are you content being known by your Savior even if your name is left out of the details? 

Father in Heaven, We praise you Lord as the Bread of Life. Your Word truly does sustain us, and we have been saved from spiritual starvation because You have so generously given us all that we need. You have even provided for us above and beyond our needs so that we can share the Bread with those who are dying from spiritual malnourishment and starvation. Father, help us today to be more like Your child. Help us to trust you with our lives, our decisions, our children, our homes, our husbands, and our resources. In Christ Jesus name I pray. Amen.
 

I just killed a spider the size of China. Ok, so not really, but it sounds dramatic, right?! I mean, there I was minding my own business, chilling out on the couch, when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. I'm thinking I'm imagining it, because I don't see anything on the rug in the dining room, but I get up to check anyway just because if I don't, I just know I'll wake up to a monstrous snake or something wrapped around my dining table in the morning. SO... I get up, and finally see it: this FREAKY looking spider w/ legs longer than a European super model's and about 1000 beady eyes - and they're all STARING at me. OH Yuck!

SO... I start looking for things to squoosh it with - because of course, I'm barefoot and there's NO WAY I'm getting any closer than 6 feet from this thing - it's like half the size of a dollar bill (aka China Town - hello!) and could launch some kind of ninja counter attack against me at any minute, so I'm running around, afraid to go into the other room because the second I let it out of my sight, I know it will go into hiding and begin plotting against me in the night - SO, then I see it, my 2 year old son's tennis shoe. I pick it up and hurl it at the spider.

FYI: toddler sized shoes for spiders the size of China do not work so well in the squooshing department. This knowledge base was reinforced when I hurled my son's OTHER shoe at it, also missing, but not by enough to keep the creature from getting mad. By this time, the thing was spinning around in a fashion that somewhat reminded me of that all-too-well-known scene from The Exorcist. Then, I saw my saving grace!!!! (Bright, heavenly light shines down; angelic music plays mystically in the background) A box!!!

Thankfully, a friend had mailed a package for the kids the day before and there sat the empty box - it was heavy duty cardboard, solid, firm - and BIG. So, I picked it up, making sure it was sealed closed - I didn't want the spider getting inside and turning it into some kind of hideout or something - and I slowly tiptoed over towards the rug, being careful to stay far enough back so that I can duck for cover if I miss and the freak arachnid decides to go all bad-spiderman on me or something.

I find my pitching position, I aim, and in the fastest slow motion I've ever seen, I throw the box at the spider. It lands on him and bounces off, as I take off running in the opposite direction. YEESSSS!!! I GOT HIM!!! I cautiously make my way back over to the area. I see his somewhat crippled and withered body, crumpled there on my rug, and then, he starts twitching. Yes, I said "twitching".

Now, let me tell you, you just don't know wierd (and gross) until you've seen a spider twitching. I figure the thing is a mutant and will come back to life at any moment, so I pick up the box, careful not to touch the side that landed on him gross!) and use it to push him off of my rug, where I proceed to drown him in a shower of Raid. HAHA! Victory!!! I grab my broom and dust pan, and using the box again, I hold the dust pan in place so I can from a distance sweep his nasty little bug body into it. I would have held it, but spiders are sneaky little creatures - you never know when they're just playing dead. Like I said, "China" - this thing was industrial!

SO... I get him scooped up and dump him in the trash, but the little booger won't fall to the bottom ~ I have to get out my gloves and an empty milk jug, and of course, my good ole' trusty box :o) and use them to mash the trash down so that if that nasty thing does decide to come back to life, he'll have to go through today's supply of dirty diapers to get back to me! Beat THAT creature!!!

Now, here I am, back on the couch, looking around, slightly paranoid, and eyeing that suspicious looking piece of fuzz that keeps floating around the floor on the other side of the room. All I know is, that fuzz better be careful, or I might have to go all cardboard box on its mug!

That is a true story that happened to me a week or so ago. As you can tell, I am slightly afraid of spiders. I always have been. Every time I see a spider, my body just begins to tremble with this intense fear and anxiety, and that fact got me thinking…

All of us have spiders in our lives. Not necessarily literal spiders, but rather “spiders” – things that creep into our lives, sometimes unexpectedly, sometimes unwelcomed, unwanted… Sometimes, those things are frightening, sometimes they are saddening, overwhelming, hurtful. Sometimes they bring anger and frustration, confusion, exhaustion, and then there are even times when the “spiders” that appear in our lives leave us shaken and almost paralyzed from their venom… and for us Military Wives, so many times, those things  - those “spiders – come creeping in during deployments.

During deployments, we are usually physically on our own. We have our jobs/duties, our kids, our homes, our yards, everything – it is all resting on our shoulders. It is up to us to do everything; to keep our world around us going when our spouse is hundreds, or even thousands of miles away from us.

In those times, we often feel alone. Sure, there are days that aren’t so bad, and we do alright, but we’ve all had those moments when we just reach our breaking point. The teenager is acting out again, the house is a mess, the grocery store was packed, the car needs an oil change, the baby is sick, the deadline for your project at work is approaching quicker than you can prepare, your back is aching, your college classes are far more demanding than you could have imagined, the washing machine just broke – again, the dog just ate your favorite pair of shoes, and you haven’t had a moment to yourself in weeks. There is a lot of stress that we all have to deal with on a daily basis, and many times, that “spider” we call stress, can fill us with the venom of tension, bitterness, anger, and resentfulness – IF we let it.

BUT, if we choose to look at things through a new light, we can see how God is using those things to work in us and through us in our everyday lives.

For example, remember my spider incident? Well, God used that to show me that He is faithful and will provide me with the strength and courage needed to accomplish whatever comes up. You see, had my husband been home when that horrid little thing came creeping out, I would have been in hysterics, jumping up onto the couch, hollering for him to come and “rescue me”. However, instead, God chose to wait until I was alone – on my own – at night – hours away from any close friends/family – to bring that spider into my life. God put me in a position where I had to make a choice: I could either be afraid and let the spider paralyze me and just give it free reign in the house, which would leave me in constant fear and paranoia knowing it was there, OR, I could be afraid and trust in the peace that He always gives, and lean on Him to give me the courage I need to “squoosh” the thing. 

I have two young children – a 2 year old and a 1 year old. Our 2 year old son is very close with his Daddy, and he was handling this very long deployment well, up until his Daddy came home for 2 weeks on Leave then had to leave again. Since then, our son has been acting out and showing some extreme signs of separation anxiety. It has been very rough dealing with that, and there have been several moments where I feel as though I have just reached my limit when it comes to patience. There are some days where it’s as though all I do is discipline him, and those days are frustrating for both of us. But, God continually renews my strength, and in those moments when I am at my wits end, and the “spider” just seems to be too big to handle, He brings to mind all of the reasons why I love our son so much…

Also during this deployment, our 1 year old daughter began having seizures. About 4 months ago, at 9 months old, she had the first of about 20 seizures. She has been in and out of the ER, hospitals, doctor’s offices. She has seen/is seeing specialists, and has undergone countless tests trying to figure out why she suddenly developed this condition. So far, all we have is more questions… This has been yet another “spider” – one of the scariest. I have had many moments of just completely breaking down. But, every time, God renews my strength with His. He gives me peace in the anxiety, and He reminds me that His hand is in this. He is in control, even when I don’t understand. When this started, I felt so scared and frustrated, and I wanted so much for my husband to be here because there is just something about having your spouse with you that gives you comfort in difficult situations…

But, instead, my husband was on yet another deployment, and there I was – here I am – frightened, clueless, and on the verge of feeling completely overwhelmed, when God brought my focus back to Him. Throughout the past few months, God has revealed Himself to me in so many ways. He has re-taught me how to rely on Him, rather than on people. He has helped me to grow in so many ways over the past few months: In maturity, in knowledge, and in some ways, understanding. Though I still have SO many questions and such a lack of knowledge regarding so many things, He has given me peace and comfort in knowing that He knows. He has increased my faith SO much.

The list of “spiders” that have come out of the woodwork, just since my husband deployed, is so long it seems like (i.e. The day after he left, the pipes busted in our house and flooded our downstairs; our garage door broke and wouldn’t open/close; my best friend moved away; my closest uncle died from cancer; our daughter began having seizures; our son fell out of an exersaucer and about broke his nose; someone broke into our house while we were home; our town flooded badly – we’re around Atlanta and were in all that flooding that went on in September; I found out I have a [minor] heart condition; ex-girlfriends/boyfriends of my husband’s and mine tried quite forcefully to cause problems within our marriage – unsuccessfully of course; not to mention, the whole “I have spiders in my house” thing, etc…) My point is that, through all of those things, God was there. He was right there with me. He was my encourager, my comfort, my strength. He held my hand through the hard things, and shared my joy through the good. When my heart was heavy, He held me, and showed me that He is there; He cares, and most of all, that He will sustain me. He will get me through.

My husband is the closest person on this earth to me. He is my #1 best friend, my love. But, God… God is my Rock. He is my everything. By using all of these “spiders” in my life, God has taught me that relying on other people will always leave me unfulfilled. There will always be something lacking, and I will always have to deal with disappointment, because even those closest to us, even those who love and care for us deeply, even those who promise to always be there for us… they will let us down. At some point, it will happen because they – we – are only human. Our spouses might promise to always be there, but what happens when they can’t be because of deployments or other duties? Their absence / inability to fulfill their promise can leave us feeling hurt, empty, dissatisfied, etc… but God is ALWAYS there. He never breaks His promises. He always has time for us because we are His most important and most treasured job. (Not that our husbands’ don’t treasure us, but they still cannot always be there). God will never leave us feeling empty or hurt or disappointed because His ways, His plans are far better than we could ever imagine. And, even when things don’t go exactly as we think they should, God will give us peace about it because His Word tells us “For God is not the spirit of fear, but of power of love, and of a sound mind.” He is not the author of confusion. God will always make things clear for us. He will always clearly show us His will, and then once we know what His will is, He allows us to choose whether to go along with it, or to act against it. No matter what we choose, He still loves us unconditionally.

So, the next time you are faced with one of life’s many  “spiders”, try not to let the venom spread throughout your life, and instead, take a moment to step back, look around, and ask God what it is He’s trying to teach you. Pray and ask Him to be the vaccine that will heal you, make you stronger, and help you grow into the person He created you to be.