When Mama Ain't Happy...
By Patti Katter
By Alane Pearce Military Spouse and
Founder of Wings for Women Military Spouse
Conferences
Military life can be hard. Our military personnel make great sacrifices to protect our country and others around the world. They work long hours and spend extended periods of time away from their families to fight for the freedoms that allow us to enjoy an American lifestyle. What many don’t realize is the stress and strain that this puts on the military spouse.
Military spouses are strong, but they can’t bear the burden of military life alone. The pressures of deployment, single parenting while married, tight budgets, lack of continuity and other stresses bear down on this strong woman’s soul.
This is why I founded Wings for Women Military Spouse Conferences--to help military spouses deal with the stresses of military life. The Wings for Women Conferences--two-day events that will run in military cities across the nation (as soon as we have funding for them) feature general sessions, dynamic speakers and military lifestyle breakout workshops designed to inspire and encourage military spouses towards emotional healing.
In 1967, Thomas H. Holmes and Richard H. Rahe, from the University of Washington, did a study on the connection between significant life events and illness. As part of the study, they compiled a chart of 43 major causes of stress. In 2006, that chart was updated to include 55 major stressors. Here is a list of the top seven.
• Finances (having enough to get by)
• Work (overwork, a spouse working too much, or the inability to find work)
• Family (health and family changes such as adoption, relocation, and job changes for just one family member can cause stress for all)
• Personal Concerns (such as how the workload at home is shared)
• Personal Health and Safety (affected by being alone and PTSD in a loved one)
• Personal Relationships (friendship, marriage)
• Death
In any given moment of any given day, the military family is dealing with not just one of these top stressors, but many. They:
• Struggle with finances because of low pay
• Get passed on much-needed employment because of a resume filled with time gaps from frequent moves
• Feel the burden of managing the home and the children alone because of the military member’s long hours and/or deployments.
A deployed military member leaves behind a family who is stressed by being home alone and a spouse dealing with long distance marriage, a lack of close friendship bonds and the constant fear that her husband may not return from war. When the military member finally comes home, the spouse and family are greatly affected by the military member’s new personality traits because of war and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Imagine how you or
your spouse might feel if put into one of these situations; yet
the military spouse deals with these high stress triggers all the
time. Every year. Every month. Every day.
These are the facts in the life of a military family.
A study published in January (2010) in the New England Journal of Medicine reinforces Holmes’ and Rahe’s theory of stress leading to illness by specifically looking at military families. The Journal study reviewd electronic medical data for almost 85 percent of the nearly 300,000 women whose active-duty husbands were deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan from 2003-2006. They found that 36.6 percent of those women had at least one mental-health diagnosis such as depression, anxiety or a sleep disorder. And this only counts those who reported problems.
“My husband is in Iraq for the 4th time,” says one military spouse on Facebook. “You are right, it doesn't get any easier. In fact, this deployment (my third) was the hardest for me so far...It's nice to be among those who understand and can relate to what you're going thru.”
Jacey Eckhart of Military Money Magazine shares about the life of a Navy spouse: “But spouses? Man, they rip the veil off your head, ship you off to a city where you may not know a soul and expect you to be able to handle a deployment, say, a week later. Spouse boot camp often is self-taught. We manage. More importantly, we adapt.”
Wings for Women Military Spouse Conferences is addressing this and more by providing an opportunity for military spouses to be with those who understand and can relate to military life. Even more, the conferences will provide tools and resources to help spouses deal with these issues to improve their lives and subsequently the lives of the military family. We know from experience that as long as women have a place to gather these things will happen.
Our conferences kick off this year in Colorado Springs, CO May 14–15th with nearly 300 participants--many of whom are coming to Colorado from New York, North Carolina, Alabama and Texas.
The conferences will help spouses improve their relationships with themselves, their husbands and their children and increase their self-worth. We will provide valuable military and community resources to ensure that the spouse becomes engaged and supported by those around her after the conference concludes. As a result the spouses will be more aware of her purpose and mission, more connected with others like her and also with those who want to help. She will be refreshed and energized about her military lifestyle.
We believe that supporting the military spouse allows her to support her husband and children in a way that only she can. When the military spouse has the tools and resources she needs to thrive in the military lifestyle, the warrior has less stress as he does his job in the field and the children are more confident in the absence of their fathers.
In short, helping the
military spouse helps everyone.
For more about Wings for Women, please visit our blog or go to the Wings4Women website To donate to Wings for Women, or to sponsor our conferences please contact Alane Pearce at wings4women@gmail.com.
The Best Gift Of All
By AprilleLast year the war took you so far away
You were serving your country on Christmas Day
I stayed behind and sent Christmas to you
Apart once again, we tried to make do
Chorus:
But you were close to my heart, near in my thoughts
Our love grows stronger, no matter what
Each year that passes, I simply recall
Having you in my life is the best gift of all
This year you're home and I'm happy to say
That we'll be together on Christmas day
I'm wrapped in your arms and our gifts we can share
Time spent with you is a treasure most rare
Chorus:
And you are close to my heart, near in my thoughts
Our love grows stronger, no matter what
Each year that passes, I simply recall
Having you in my life is the best gift of all
Next year we aren't guaranteed Christmas day
You could be home or be so far away
We'll snuggle and laugh, or just try to make do
I'll kiss you, or miss you, but this much is true:
Chorus:
You'll be close to my heart, near in my thoughts
Our love will grow stronger, no matter what
Each year that passes, I'll simply recall
Having you in my life is the best gift of all
Why Become A Member of Christian Military Fellowship?
By Patti Katter
Christian Military Wives is now a ministry of CMF!
Christian Military Fellowship (CMF) is an association of believers who are committed to encouraging Men and Women in the United States Armed Forces, and their families, to love and serve the Lord Jesus Christ. CMF involves all elements of that society including all ranks, family members, and civilian employees.
Within the military society, our members, staff and constituents work to introduce people to Jesus Christ and help Christians to grow in faith.
In pursuit of the objectives of the CMF, the following guidelines for ministering to one another are advocated in the operation of the local Fellowship:
- Encourage and help individual members to establish and maintain personal Bible study, prayer and obedience to God in every area of their lives.
- Foster in all members a primary concern for the spiritual well-being of their own families, and the recognition in God's economy of the family as the basic worshiping community.
- Encourage members to perform their military duties in a professional manner consistent with obedience to God's commands.
- Encourage and assist members to form and maintain local fellowships consisting of regularly scheduled Bible study, prayer and personal sharing.
- Motivate members to support local chaplains by prayer and personal encouragement, and to participate actively in the chapel program.
- Conduct conferences in order to teach Scriptural truth, impart training in the practical application of spiritual principles, and encourage and enjoy fellowship with one another.
- Evangelize every segment of the military society by any means which honors Christ.
- Encourage individual members and local fellowships to minister to the spiritual and temporal needs of the allied military society.
- Foster throughout the fellowship the practice of ministering to individuals on a personal basis.
- Promote "pray and plan" sessions among the local leadership in order to seek God's guidance in directing the local CMF ministry.
- Encourage participation by friends and relatives in support of the activities of the fellowship through associate membership.
How does CMF work?
As a peer ministry within the military society, we encourage support for chaplains and participation in the military chapel programs where possible.
CMF members and friends are part of a worldwide prayer family. They submit prayer requests to the Home Office to be published in the monthly prayer reminder (Battle Plan) by which we can all pray for one another. We also have daily prayer at the Home Office for more time-urgent requests. We also publish the Battle Plan electronically via E-mail for those who wish to receive the published requests daily. Any urgent requests received are also added to the Electronic Battle Plan.
We encourage Christians to get together for "Pray and Plan" sessions to determine how best to pursue the Great Commission in their own locales, whether it is forming a local CMF ministry or supporting other ministries that are already in place.
Wherever it is appropriate, local CMF groups are formed. Often they are Bible studies, but they are also ministries like Sunday School classes, outreaches to specific segments of the military society, coffee houses, peer discussions, or whatever is best for the local situation.
Who provides leadership?
A full-time President/CEO and staff are employed by the Board of Directors. The Board consists of CMF regular members who meet quarterly to seek God's direction, review the financial statements and the yearly audit, approve the budget, and generally oversee the ministry.
How can I meet other believers when I travel or transfer?
We maintain a world-wide network and publish an annual Directory of CMF members, chaplains, missionaries, pastors, organizations and individuals who are willing to serve as Christian referrals for military members and families when they travel or transfer. At their request, members are linked with referrals by phone, letter or e-mail.
Who can become a member of CMF?
Regular membership is available to present and former personnel of the USA Armed Forces and their spouses. They may: avail themselves of all CMF resources, serve as official representatives of CMF, and serve on the Board of Directors.
Associate membership is available to those who have not served in the USA Armed Forces. They have all the same privileges except serving on the Board of Directors.
How is CMF supported?
Finances are needed to support the ministries mentioned. CMF is financed by the voluntary gifts of members and friends. There are NO MEMBERSHIP DUES. As a member of the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability (ECFA), we adhere to their standards of stewardship and accounting.
How may I join CMF?
Click on "Become A Member/Register" at the top right of the page or visit the "How to Join" page.
I have been asked many times to describe the ministry of the Christian Military Fellowship. It is always hard to pick a place to begin the description.
The thought that first comes to mind is the fact that CMF is a ministry that is owned and operated by its members. CMF is an indigenous ministry! Yes, you read correctly. CMF is about Christians in the military leading others to a saving faith in Jesus Christ and encouraging fellow believers. Therefore, CMF ministry exists wherever CMF members are involved. They might be riding ship, a member of a flight crew, or carrying a rifle.
Another thing that makes describing CMF difficult is that we are not about waving the CMF flag. In fact most of the time the activities of our membership will occur in or associated with the local Command Religious Program. CMF members teach Sunday School classes at base chapels, teach Bible Studies, and assist with worship services.
Now the first thought that comes to mind after reading these two paragraphs is that one does not necessarily need to be a member of CMF in order participate in these activities. However, you begin to see the utility of CMF if you look at your presence in the military as divinely appointed and consider that your are serving in an environment that brings with it the possibility for not one, not two, but three wars. First, there is the war that is within you:
"We know that the Law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do; for I don’t do what I would like to do, but instead I do what I hate. Since what I do is what I don’t want to do, this shows that I agree that the Law is right. So I am not really the one who does this thing; rather it is the sin that lives in me. I know that good does not live in me—that is, in my human nature. For even though the desire to do good is in me, I am not able to do it. I don’t do the good I want to do; instead, I do the evil that I do not want to do. If I do what I don’t want to do, this means that I am no longer the one who does it; instead, it is the sin that lives in me. So I find that this law is at work: when I want to do what is good, what is evil is the only choice I have. My inner being delights in the law of God. But I see a different law at work in my body—a law that fights against the law which my mind approves of. It makes me a prisoner to the law of sin which is at work in my body. What an unhappy man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is taking me to death? Thanks be to God, who does this through our Lord Jesus Christ! This, then, is my condition: on my own I can serve God’s law only with my mind, while my human nature serves the law of sin." (Romans 7:14-30, GNB)
Second, there is the war against principalities and powers:
"Finally, build up your strength
in union with the Lord and by means of his mighty power.
Put on all the armor that God gives you, so that you will
be able to stand up against the Devil’s evil tricks. For
we are not fighting against human beings but against the
wicked spiritual forces in the heavenly world, the
rulers, authorities, and cosmic powers of this dark age."
(Ephesians 6:10-12, GNB)
Finally, there is temporal warfare. The wars and rumors
of wars in this fallen world.
"You are going to hear the noise of battles close by and the news of battles far away; but do not be troubled. Such things must happen, but they do not mean that the end has come. Countries will fight each other, kingdoms will attack one another. There will be famines and earthquakes everywhere." (Matthew 24:6-7, GNB)
One of the accepted principles of warfare is called “Force Concentration.” “Force concentration is the practice of concentrating military power on a target to cause disproportionate losses for the enemy. It's based upon the formula that the combat power of a military force is the square of the number of members of that unit” (Army Command and General Staff College). It does not matter whether you are talking about putting a bullet through a piece of armor or a brigade through an opposing force, the principle is the same. If you want to win the battle it requires a concentration of force!
"After this the Lord chose another 72 men and sent them out two by two, to go ahead of him to every town and place where he himself was about to go. He said to them, “There is a large harvest, but few workers to gather it in. Pray to the owner of the harvest that he will send out workers to gather in his harvest." (Luke 10:1-2, GNB)
No let us put ourselves into this battle. We are standing in the war zone where the enemy has his highly trained and motivated troops focused upon you. He has done his reconnaissance and knows you and your weaknesses and those of your fellow believers. He has one mission and that is to see to your demise. Now consider that he would rather put a bullet through your temple then have to lay siege to your castle. Oh I forgot to mention, this enemy is invisible! Oh I forgot to mention, you were abruptly taken out of the warmth of your local fellowship and are now standing on the far side of the planet in the middle of a temporal battle field where there is yet another enemy who wants to nail your to the floor of hell. You know who your temporal battle buddies are because you have been training with them for months. However, you haven’t a clue as to the identity of your eternal battle buddies or their capabilities because you were all going to different fellowships and have never trained together. Do you see in the situation an opportunity for you to create a concentration of force?
“And I tell you more: whenever two of you on earth agree about anything you pray for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, I am there with them.” (Matthew 18:19-20, GNB)
I have heard many sermons that focused on the need to put on the whole armor of God. But not one sermon on how to put on God’s armor and how to know when you have it on! I found the answer to these questions in an unusual way. I was driving along in a car listening to an album that my longtime battle buddy had given to me. It was a group called Harvest. One of the songs on the album contained the following words:
“Are we walking into the enemy camp,
laying our weapons down, shedding our armor as we go,
leaving it on the ground. We’ve gotta be strong in the
power of His might to prove to the enemy, we are the army
of the Lord and we’ve won the victory.”
No here are some words that will put fear in the heart of
any warrior. The thought of walking into the enemy
encampment would be tough enough. But to throw down one’s
weapons and armor as well? Then it struck me like
lightening. How do you put on God’s armor? You have to
take off your own. Pastor Andrew Murray, in his book by
the same name, calls this “Absolute Surrender.”
“This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:17-24, NKJV)
How do you know when you have on the whole armor of God? When you pray like this:
“Do all this in prayer, asking for God’s help. Pray on every occasion, as the Spirit leads. For this reason keep alert and never give up; pray always for all God’s people.” (Ephesians 6:18, GNB)
The staff and infrastructure of CMF exists to provide whatever it takes to resource, equip and encourage our membership in the performance of their ministry. So, if the Chapel program at your base isn't what you think it ought to be, or there appears to be no one interested in conducting Divine Worship Services aboard your ship then my question for you, Christian, is "Why not you?" But then the question again arises, "Why CMF?" I certainly do not need to be a member to do any of these things! But what if you desire to serve and do not know how? What if you think you know how but have been frustrated (the war you cannot see) in your efforts? Maybe you are discouraged and are suffering through tough times in your own life! Now you are beginning to get the picture! This is combat and the enemy is real! Soldiers do not go to war untrained and unequipped do they? No one goes to a war and escapes without wounds! What if I am already attending a Church? That is great! Start a CMF group at your church to support and encourage those in the military that attend with you. The church cannot go on deployment but your fellow CMF members may well deploy with you. If you are interested in learning more about how to become an "Owner/Operator" give us a call. We will even pay for the call. (800) 798-7875.
Can Anybody Hear Her?
By Patti KatterFor some reason, a song popped into my head by Casting Crowns. I decided to search the song on youtube to see if there were any videos that went along with the song.
The song is, Can Anybody Hear Her...
I think the song is talking about a younger, unmarried woman - however, in a way - it reminded me of being a military wife.
Sometimes we feel lonely... we don't know where to turn. Even when we know we should turn to God, it's human nature to want companionship.
It's really on my heart this evening that we as Christians, and as military wives stick together to reach out to the lonely military wives.
In 1 Peter 4:10 the Bible says, Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms.
Can Anybody Hear Her Lyrics:
she is runnin, 100 miles an hour in the wrong direction she is trying but the canyons ever widening, and the depths of her cold heart, so she sets out on another misadventure juss to find, she's another 2 years older and she's 3 more steps behind,(chorus)(Chorus) does anybody hear her can anybody see or does anybody even know she's going down today, under the shadow of our steeple,with all the lost and lonely people, searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me, does anybody hear her, can anybody see?(Chorus)
she is yearning for shelter and affectionthat she never found at home, but she is seachin, for a hero to ride in ride in and save the day up and walks prince charming and he knows just what to say, momentary he laughs of reason and she gives herself away (chorus)
if judgement looms under every steeple lofty glances from lofty people you can see past her scarlit letter and we've never even met her, if judgement looms under every steeple,if lofty glances from lofty people, you can't see past her scarlit letter and we never even met her, never even met her(chorus) he is running a 100 miles an hour in the wrong direction.



