Feb
14th
How To Be A Helpmeet To Your Husband
By Patti
As Christians we are not only accountable to our spouse but to God first and foremost. Christ should be the driving force in the Christ follower's life. If this one important facet is written upon a woman's heart, mind and soul, she will not have a problem adhering to her obligations as a Christian wife.
And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an helpmeet for him. Genesis 2:18
Scripture shows a woman how to be a good helpmeet to her husband. Even when she doesn't feel like being very helpful or loving she tries to do the best she can because she knows it is what God wants her to do. The reality is Christian women have bad days too, but are blessed with God's presence (Holy Spirit) within them for comfort.
God created Eve for Adam's companionship, helper, support and encouragement. It is not good that man should be alone. There are many ways that a wife can bring the assets of helper and that of companionship to her husband. A Christian wife "who fears the Lord" is an asset to her husband in many ways.
In what ways can a Christian wife be a good helpmeet to her husband? She is called to be a companion to her husband in all areas of the marriage, which include emotionally, mentally, spiritually and sexually.
A Wife's Emotional Support
Emotionally she encourages her husband to be the man of God that was meant for him to be. She is an asset to her husband when she supports him in his callings and endeavors in life and praises his continual efforts in the Lord. She should refrain from trying to control, browbeat or boss her husband around because that is not what God has called her to do.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. Proverbs 31:11
A nagging wife is worse than a dripping faucet. If a wife cannot find anything uplifting to say to her husband or about her husband she shouldn't say anything at all. A husband needs an emotionally supportive wife and vice versa, otherwise how is the oneness in marriage met?
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman. Proverbs 21:19
A Wife's Spiritual Support
Spiritually a Christian wife connects with her Christian husband because they share in the same values and principles in life. And together they raise Godly children and have many fruits of the spirit within their marriage and family. Together they create abundance and prosperity for their lives and they realize and praise God because they know it all belongs to Him.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12
She submits to her husband's spiritual leadership. A helpmeet does not argue and fuss with her husband; instead she works with Him. Most husbands will eagerly listen to the opinion of their wives when the wife does not demean him. Marriage is a partnership and a team effort that takes considerable compassion and compromise from both the husband and wife. Submission should always be voluntary, otherwise how would it be submission any other way?
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. Proverbs 31:23
A Wife's Sexual Support
Sexually she is there for her husband when he wants to be close. Both husband and wife have emotional, spiritual and sexual needs that should be met only through each other. God created them male and female for this reason. Eve was made from Adams flesh and bones, which symbolically make them one flesh. When a husband and wife encourage one another in their roles and positions of marriage the sexual and emotional intimacy between them will be a healthy and productive part of the marriage.
The goal for marriage should be of maintaining the oneness that united them. Sexual intimacy between a husband and wife is the kind of companionship that brings them closer together so they will not want outside of the marriage parameters. They should never reject one another unless of a woman's menstruation or if either one of them is sick.
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27
On another note, women who are loved in the Lord are more apt to be respectful and devoted wives. A woman who is truly loved by her husband will utilize all of her creative talents and God given abilities that she has been blessed with; her husband will never be in need of anything.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:31
by Angie Lewis
Angie and Franks Marriage Ministry: http://www.heavenministries.com
Angie has written six Christian God-help books to encourage and support you in your marriage and health.
And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an helpmeet for him. Genesis 2:18
Scripture shows a woman how to be a good helpmeet to her husband. Even when she doesn't feel like being very helpful or loving she tries to do the best she can because she knows it is what God wants her to do. The reality is Christian women have bad days too, but are blessed with God's presence (Holy Spirit) within them for comfort.
God created Eve for Adam's companionship, helper, support and encouragement. It is not good that man should be alone. There are many ways that a wife can bring the assets of helper and that of companionship to her husband. A Christian wife "who fears the Lord" is an asset to her husband in many ways.
In what ways can a Christian wife be a good helpmeet to her husband? She is called to be a companion to her husband in all areas of the marriage, which include emotionally, mentally, spiritually and sexually.
A Wife's Emotional Support
Emotionally she encourages her husband to be the man of God that was meant for him to be. She is an asset to her husband when she supports him in his callings and endeavors in life and praises his continual efforts in the Lord. She should refrain from trying to control, browbeat or boss her husband around because that is not what God has called her to do.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. Proverbs 31:11
A nagging wife is worse than a dripping faucet. If a wife cannot find anything uplifting to say to her husband or about her husband she shouldn't say anything at all. A husband needs an emotionally supportive wife and vice versa, otherwise how is the oneness in marriage met?
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman. Proverbs 21:19
A Wife's Spiritual Support
Spiritually a Christian wife connects with her Christian husband because they share in the same values and principles in life. And together they raise Godly children and have many fruits of the spirit within their marriage and family. Together they create abundance and prosperity for their lives and they realize and praise God because they know it all belongs to Him.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12
She submits to her husband's spiritual leadership. A helpmeet does not argue and fuss with her husband; instead she works with Him. Most husbands will eagerly listen to the opinion of their wives when the wife does not demean him. Marriage is a partnership and a team effort that takes considerable compassion and compromise from both the husband and wife. Submission should always be voluntary, otherwise how would it be submission any other way?
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. Proverbs 31:23
A Wife's Sexual Support
Sexually she is there for her husband when he wants to be close. Both husband and wife have emotional, spiritual and sexual needs that should be met only through each other. God created them male and female for this reason. Eve was made from Adams flesh and bones, which symbolically make them one flesh. When a husband and wife encourage one another in their roles and positions of marriage the sexual and emotional intimacy between them will be a healthy and productive part of the marriage.
The goal for marriage should be of maintaining the oneness that united them. Sexual intimacy between a husband and wife is the kind of companionship that brings them closer together so they will not want outside of the marriage parameters. They should never reject one another unless of a woman's menstruation or if either one of them is sick.
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27
On another note, women who are loved in the Lord are more apt to be respectful and devoted wives. A woman who is truly loved by her husband will utilize all of her creative talents and God given abilities that she has been blessed with; her husband will never be in need of anything.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:31
by Angie Lewis
Angie and Franks Marriage Ministry: http://www.heavenministries.com
Angie has written six Christian God-help books to encourage and support you in your marriage and health.
Jan
16th
God Invented Marriage
By Patti
Using a fun and free-flowing discussion format, Michael and Laura Fletcher answer some of the most burning and pertinent questions facing married and hoped-to-be-married people today. Each message includes a series of do-at-home assignments for both married couples and single individuals.
Let's Talk About Marriage is a five week study that Michael and Laura are leading. Last week, Part I was our focus... God Invented Marriage.
Tomorrow, I am looking forward to hearing about Effective Communication. If you are not in the Fort Bragg area, never fear! You can watch the videos here!
I hope you are blessed by the sermons as much as my husband and I have been blessed.
PART 1: God Invented Marriage (1/10/10)
PART 2: Effective Communication (1/17/10)
PART 3: Roles In Marriage- Pt.1 (1/24/10)
PART 4: Roles In Marriage- Pt. 2 (1/31/10)
PART 5: Rated "R" for Romance (2/7/10)
Jan
9th
A Help Mate
By Patti
I found this article encouraging, and I hope you do too. Rarely do I find an article that I would reprint in the CMW magazine. May God bless you as you read this article by Kim Stilwell.
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Even though we have five children, ages 11 and under, I believe that biblically my primary role in our family is to be a helpmate to my husband. Early in our marriage I would sometimes become resentful of this role and think, "What about me?" Though occasionally I still slip back into this old way of thinking, after sixteen years of marriage I find that being a helpmate to my husband has become a source of great joy instead of a chore. I find that when I follow my biblical role I have the peace and contentment that comes from being obedient to the Lord and His Word. I have also found that our marriage, and therefore our family, is stronger.
To fully understand God's Word, it helps me greatly if I am told the practical side of following God's Word. It doesn't help me much to have someone say, "Be a helpmate to your husband." I need specifics on HOW to be a helpmate to him. Here are some practical ways that I have learned through God's Word (often taught by others) over the years:
1. Pray for him. Recently I read Susannah Wesley's biography. It said that Susannah would often throw her apron over her face. Her children would know not to bother her when they saw the apron over her face. This meant that she was praying to the Heavenly Father. One way I can be a helpmate to my husband is to pray for him. Though I have a specific time in the day to pray and read the Bible, I also often pray sentence prayers all throughout the day. Over half of these prayers are for my husband, "Lord, please give him wisdom as he leads our family," "Lord, please give him wisdom in this difficult decision he has to make," "Lord, please give him an opportunity to witness to a coworker today," "Lord, he is probably driving home about now. Please give him safety on the road" and other prayers like that all throughout the day.
2. Submit to him. The word "submission" is not popular in our culture today, but it is very biblical. We all have someone we need to submit to, and a wife is to submit to her husband. Ephesians 5:22 says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord." I should not submit to my husband only when I agree with him but all the time. Usually I do not find it difficult to submit to my husband, because we agree on so much. We both want to follow God's Word and this leads us to nearly complete agreement on all the major issues in our life.
However, there have been times in our marriage when I have disagreed with my husband. For the most part, I have submitted any way. Most of the time I find out that he was right, but in the few cases when I have been right, I should not have an "I told you so" attitude. In spite of being the leader in our home, husbands make mistakes, just as we do. These are learning experiences for them just as we learn from our mistakes. Being submissive to my husband does not mean that I can't respectfully express my opinion to him but once he makes a decision, even if it is not the one I suggested, I need to lovingly and respectfully submit to him. By submitting to my husband, I teach my children to submit to authority. If they hear me make snide comments about my husband or see me roll my eyes when I disagree, I am teaching them to be unsubmissive and disrespectful to authority. Is there ever a time a wife should not submit to her husband? The Bible does teach that we are to "obey God rather than man," so if a husband wants his wife to do something that goes against God's Word, such as steal or lie, that is one time that a wife should not obey her husband.
3. Love him. Titus 2:3-5 tells the older women what they are to teach the younger women. Among other things, they are to teach the younger women to "love their husbands." Loving my husband is not just a feeling (though I do have romantic feelings toward my husband) but an action. If I say I love my husband but constantly belittle him or gossip about him to my friends, then I don't really love him. If I send him a romantic card but never truly listen when he is talking to me, then I don't really love him. Love is an action and a choice, not just a feeling.
4. Make him # 2. Our husbands should have priority in our lives. The only One who should come before him on our priority list is God. A few months ago I wrote a whole article on this, so I will not spend a lot of time on this but we should put our husband above our children (they will actually be happier and more secure as a result of their Daddy coming "first"), before our friends, before our housework and before even church ministry.
I praise the Lord that I have a husband that makes it easy for me to be a helpmate to him. He is kind and loving and a wonderful husband and family leader. Perhaps many of you are not in the same situation that I am. My heart goes out to you and if I knew your name and situation, I would certainly pray for you. The Bible does tell us that "to whom much has been given, much more shall be required." Because I have a loving husband, God expects more of me.
Article written by: Kim Stilwell; you may reach Kim via email jkstilwell@juno.com if you have any questions about this article.
Photo: CMW dmoore and her husband (dmoore has entered our Valentines Day Photo Contest.... have you?)
Jan
3rd
Training Woes
By Patti
You love seeing your husband in his uniform. You love his patriotism that runs deep throughout his veins. Then, something happens. You realize your husbands job keeps him away more than it allows him to stay home. You thought you could manage your emotions while your husband was away training, but you begin to feel lonely, sometimes second place.
This is a normal feeling. It’s natural that you want your husband by your side twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Thinking about this makes you second guess yourself. You begin to wonder if you are cut out for “the job” of being a military wife. Don’t allow Satin to throw those doubts at you. He will throw arrows of fear, discouragement, loneliness, bitterness and other spiritual obstacles if you allow him to.
Today our Pastor was talking about why it was so important to hide Gods word in our heart. It’s important that you memorize Bible verses so when Satin throws something at you, you will know exactly what to say to the circumstance you are in and you will be able to battle Satins unfathomable thoughts and pranks with Gods word. The word of faith, hope, healing and the buoyancy that the only the Lord Jesus Christ gives us.
In your heart and your head sometimes you wonder why your husband needs to be away training so often. Training is very necessary to your military sweetheart because your husband needs to know what to do in times of warfare. We want our husbands to be well trained - this is good, we all know that. The first thing you need to remember when you begin to get the “training day blues” is to remember, training is GOOD as a matter of fact, it‘s essential. Training will allow your husband to make wise decisions when out on missions later down the road.
When my husband would go away to train or to special schools, I would try to keep busy by doing something constructive for myself and for our family. What do you do when your husband is away training? Do you sit in depression? If so, you are wasting treasured time that the Lord has given you.
You are strong, you ARE a military wife, but finest of all you are Gods child. God offers you the power to keep on keeping on just when you think you cannot. He shows favor upon His children and He wants what is best for you. God adores you, and He is always here for you. He will guard you and He will protect you in all times. He is better than any ADT home security system and His is more loving than any human on this earth. God will fill your loneliness with happiness and strength if you allow Him to. God's answer to loneliness is not the quantity of your relationships… but the quality.
Many times, wives will complain to their husbands because they want more time with them. Truth be told, your husband cannot do a thing about his work hours. He cannot tell his commander, “Sir, my wife wants more time with me.” Yikes, can you imagine the reaction of the commanders face!? Trust me, it would not be a pretty scene...
Instead of being depressed in front of your husband and enlightening him on how much you want more time together, tell him how proud of him you are. Tell him you will be praying for him, and you hope he prays for you too. Tell him you think about him while he is away and that you love him very much. While, you cannot pray together every evening - you can most certainly pray for each other every evening.
Here are a few Bible verses to help you through your feelings of loneliness, weakness, worry or when you are just plain tired of it all.
Lam 3:24-25 "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him." The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him."
Deuteronomy 31:6 ... the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
2 Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Prayer: Dear Lord and Heavenly Father, I come to you asking you to fill the void that I have in my heart while my husband is away training. Give me peace, a feeling of love and joyfulness that only you can give me. Allow me to help other military wives who may need encouragement. Thank you for your never ending adoration and help in times of need. Bless our family and all that we do. In your precious name I pray, Amen.
Dec
28th
Marriage thoughts
By Carly
Yesterday was my 5 year anniversary. It's been a rough year, sort of. My husband Cam has been deployed the majority of year, leaving me to deal with our two babies (now 24 months old and 10 months old). The babies and I have moved 4 times this year, bought a house, and lived in a barn for a month, not in that order.
But despite all that, it's actually been pretty good. My husband and I have maintained an acceptable level of communication, and we have both matured quite a bit throughout the year. I know we'll have to deal with a period of re-acclimation, but that's something to look forward to rather than fear.
5 years ago, when we got married, I didn't understand how "love" could be any better than it was right then. It just felt so good that first year or two, starting our lives together, getting chubby together. We fought ALL the time, but we were in love, so it didn't matter, we always got over it. I guess that's what the honeymoon period is for, to give us hope while we battle. It's like iron sharpening iron...we were rough and unpolished and, in order to smooth out, we clashed. I don't remember feeling miserable in this time, but looking back, I probably should've been.
The last year before Cam was deployed, things smoothed out for us. We were on our own, 800 miles from our nearest family, for the first time in our lives, and we learned to deal properly with one another. One day I remember panicking when I realized we hadn't really fought in over a month. For some reason, I assumed that maybe this was because I didn't care for him emotionally anymore. Funny huh? But in my mind, love was tumultuous, and if violent emotions, good and bad, were not foremost in my thoughts, I must not be in love. Fortunately, this was a short lived panic attack.
You see, Cam and I agreed before we got married that this was it for us. Good, bad, and ugly, we were going to work through it all. Divorce was not an option, and it would not enter our marital vocabulary, and it didn't. So when my emotions had finally evened out, instead of considering leaving him like some people do, I could for the first time be deliberate about the growth of my marriage. By that time, he was leaving for Afghanistan, so I haven't actually had much opportunity to put this new-found maturity to good use, but I'm excited about the prospect!
I feel like this is the next step in our marriage. Maybe the first real step, after actually getting married. Before, we were were just breaking off all our rough edges, now we can begin to sharpen one another.
It got me thinking about my relationship with God, too. The Bible refers to our walk with God and the gospel as a "mystery." I never really understood this before, but now I'm starting to get a glimpse of what it means. We have to go deeper, just like we have to go deeper in our marriages. The initial "honeymoon period" seems so great when you are in it, but as anyone who has been married more than a few years can tell you, if that was all there was to it, we'd be miserable and bored. The real excitement, the true love, comes from growth and maturity, a mutual respect.
Cam and I are finally to the point where we can grow and mature together, instead of just existing. I feel this is the point I'm reaching with God, too, that I can finally mature in Him and learn His mysteries, instead of just coasting. This is the point in which we "come away" with Him. This is where life, where our relationship, truly begins. This is where my life, as a wife and as a Christian, truly begins.
Are you excited about the future? I am.
But despite all that, it's actually been pretty good. My husband and I have maintained an acceptable level of communication, and we have both matured quite a bit throughout the year. I know we'll have to deal with a period of re-acclimation, but that's something to look forward to rather than fear.
5 years ago, when we got married, I didn't understand how "love" could be any better than it was right then. It just felt so good that first year or two, starting our lives together, getting chubby together. We fought ALL the time, but we were in love, so it didn't matter, we always got over it. I guess that's what the honeymoon period is for, to give us hope while we battle. It's like iron sharpening iron...we were rough and unpolished and, in order to smooth out, we clashed. I don't remember feeling miserable in this time, but looking back, I probably should've been.
The last year before Cam was deployed, things smoothed out for us. We were on our own, 800 miles from our nearest family, for the first time in our lives, and we learned to deal properly with one another. One day I remember panicking when I realized we hadn't really fought in over a month. For some reason, I assumed that maybe this was because I didn't care for him emotionally anymore. Funny huh? But in my mind, love was tumultuous, and if violent emotions, good and bad, were not foremost in my thoughts, I must not be in love. Fortunately, this was a short lived panic attack.
You see, Cam and I agreed before we got married that this was it for us. Good, bad, and ugly, we were going to work through it all. Divorce was not an option, and it would not enter our marital vocabulary, and it didn't. So when my emotions had finally evened out, instead of considering leaving him like some people do, I could for the first time be deliberate about the growth of my marriage. By that time, he was leaving for Afghanistan, so I haven't actually had much opportunity to put this new-found maturity to good use, but I'm excited about the prospect!
I feel like this is the next step in our marriage. Maybe the first real step, after actually getting married. Before, we were were just breaking off all our rough edges, now we can begin to sharpen one another.
It got me thinking about my relationship with God, too. The Bible refers to our walk with God and the gospel as a "mystery." I never really understood this before, but now I'm starting to get a glimpse of what it means. We have to go deeper, just like we have to go deeper in our marriages. The initial "honeymoon period" seems so great when you are in it, but as anyone who has been married more than a few years can tell you, if that was all there was to it, we'd be miserable and bored. The real excitement, the true love, comes from growth and maturity, a mutual respect.
Cam and I are finally to the point where we can grow and mature together, instead of just existing. I feel this is the point I'm reaching with God, too, that I can finally mature in Him and learn His mysteries, instead of just coasting. This is the point in which we "come away" with Him. This is where life, where our relationship, truly begins. This is where my life, as a wife and as a Christian, truly begins.
Are you excited about the future? I am.
Dec
5th
The Book on Marriage that Totally Changed my Perspective
By Deb
I thought I would share with you ladies a book that changed my whole perspective on marriage. It is called ''CREATED TO BE HIS HELP MEET'' by Debi Pearl. It influenced my life and my husband's life.
This book reminds women that we are created to be helpers to our husbands, not the other way around. We all have things our husbands ask us to do and we grumble about it. Mine has always been when my husband asks me to hold his green army bag open so he can pack it. Don't exactly know why, but I really dislike this job. However, I realize God wants me to help and honor my husband by holding his green army bag open...so I will, and now without complaint.
Sadly, we live in a society where husbands are expected to always do things for their wives. What is in it for me? My husband is supposed to fufill all my needs and wants. Wrong! We are to be our husband's help meet, not the other way around.
Recently My hubby and me went on a trip to the beach for his leave. We had a 4 hour drive. I decided to bring this book along and maybe read some. Well, my hubby was interested in the book, since I had told him it had greatly influenced my life. He asked me to read it aloud. I read the section about 3 kinds of men. They are Mr. Command Man, Mr. Visionary, and Mr. Steady. Many men have a combination of 2 or all 3. When I started reading about Mr. Visionary, my husband kept laughing. He told me he was probably 60-70% Mr. Visionary. My husband was happy to learn who he was, and it was helpful for me as well. There were some things he did that I totally did not understand till I read this. For instance, my hubby would always be gung-ho about starting a project and often leave it unfinished. I thought my husband was lazy with these projects and it really irritated me. What I came to realize, is that the visionary will often start a project and get distracted with another one and never finish the one they started. Wow! It changed my perspective! He hadn't realized he had been doing this till I pointed out some specific examples. We were both floored. It helped me be more understanding, and him to be more aware.
This book also shares mistakes other women made in their marriages. These womens' only goal is to warn you not to make the same mistakes they made and risk pushing your husband away...maybe forever. Be prepared, you will need a box of tissues.
The 2nd part of the book goes in depth on Titus 2. How the older women are supposed to teach the younger women. Each chapter focuses on what kind of women we are to be. We are to be sober, lovers of our husbands, lovers of our children, discreet,chaste, keepers at home, good, and obedient to our own husbands.
Debi answers some tough questions from women, backing up her responses with scripture. It is a changing book! At times it can be hard to swallow, but if you let it change you, it will. It will change your marriage!
My husband was so impressed, he told me if I found some good books on marriage for men, he would read them. My hubby has never been much of a reader. So, I found 3 books that were recommended to me, ''MAN AFTER GOD'S OWN HEART, HUSBAND AFTER GOD'S OWN HEART, and POWER OF A PRAYING HUSBAND. He told me he has started reading the books( over seas) and that they are actually pretty good! Wow! I wonder if I had never shared this book with him, if he would be reading books on being a better husband!
The book ''CREATED TO BE HIS HELP MEET'' is a great book on becoming a godly wife. It is both helpful and convicting! If you read it with a right heart and open mind, seriously desiring to be a better Christian wife, then God will change you and bless you with a better marriage. You will be amazed how God will change your husband as well!
So, I urge you to get this book! You will not be disappointed! It may just be a turning point in your marriage as it was in mine.
This book reminds women that we are created to be helpers to our husbands, not the other way around. We all have things our husbands ask us to do and we grumble about it. Mine has always been when my husband asks me to hold his green army bag open so he can pack it. Don't exactly know why, but I really dislike this job. However, I realize God wants me to help and honor my husband by holding his green army bag open...so I will, and now without complaint.
Sadly, we live in a society where husbands are expected to always do things for their wives. What is in it for me? My husband is supposed to fufill all my needs and wants. Wrong! We are to be our husband's help meet, not the other way around.
Recently My hubby and me went on a trip to the beach for his leave. We had a 4 hour drive. I decided to bring this book along and maybe read some. Well, my hubby was interested in the book, since I had told him it had greatly influenced my life. He asked me to read it aloud. I read the section about 3 kinds of men. They are Mr. Command Man, Mr. Visionary, and Mr. Steady. Many men have a combination of 2 or all 3. When I started reading about Mr. Visionary, my husband kept laughing. He told me he was probably 60-70% Mr. Visionary. My husband was happy to learn who he was, and it was helpful for me as well. There were some things he did that I totally did not understand till I read this. For instance, my hubby would always be gung-ho about starting a project and often leave it unfinished. I thought my husband was lazy with these projects and it really irritated me. What I came to realize, is that the visionary will often start a project and get distracted with another one and never finish the one they started. Wow! It changed my perspective! He hadn't realized he had been doing this till I pointed out some specific examples. We were both floored. It helped me be more understanding, and him to be more aware.
This book also shares mistakes other women made in their marriages. These womens' only goal is to warn you not to make the same mistakes they made and risk pushing your husband away...maybe forever. Be prepared, you will need a box of tissues.
The 2nd part of the book goes in depth on Titus 2. How the older women are supposed to teach the younger women. Each chapter focuses on what kind of women we are to be. We are to be sober, lovers of our husbands, lovers of our children, discreet,chaste, keepers at home, good, and obedient to our own husbands.
Debi answers some tough questions from women, backing up her responses with scripture. It is a changing book! At times it can be hard to swallow, but if you let it change you, it will. It will change your marriage!
My husband was so impressed, he told me if I found some good books on marriage for men, he would read them. My hubby has never been much of a reader. So, I found 3 books that were recommended to me, ''MAN AFTER GOD'S OWN HEART, HUSBAND AFTER GOD'S OWN HEART, and POWER OF A PRAYING HUSBAND. He told me he has started reading the books( over seas) and that they are actually pretty good! Wow! I wonder if I had never shared this book with him, if he would be reading books on being a better husband!
The book ''CREATED TO BE HIS HELP MEET'' is a great book on becoming a godly wife. It is both helpful and convicting! If you read it with a right heart and open mind, seriously desiring to be a better Christian wife, then God will change you and bless you with a better marriage. You will be amazed how God will change your husband as well!
So, I urge you to get this book! You will not be disappointed! It may just be a turning point in your marriage as it was in mine.
Oct
20th
Free for military couples: membership to The Great Marriage Experience
By Jocelynby Jocelyn Green, author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives
Ever since I’ve known them, I’ve been a fan of Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg, America’s Family Coaches and authors of Guard Your Heart, 6 Secrets to a Lasting Love, Healing the Hurt in Your Marriage and more. I first met them when my husband and I attended a marriage retreat for military couples on Veteran’s Day weekend, 2006; it seems that their heart for the military marriage has only grown since then.
Now, they are offering military couples FREE membership to The Great Marriage Experience. Click here to see a brief two-minute video describing all the benefits you’ll receive. Note the button at the top right corner of that Web page-click it to send an email stating you’d like to sign up for your free membership. Be sure to mention that you are military. To see a more detailed list of what you’ll get from your membership, see this page and look at the “member” column–normally a $9 per month subscription, but free to you. I hope you’ll take advantage of these great resources!
For more spiritual support, inspiration and resources for military wives, visit www.faithdeployed.com.
Sep
16th
Restoring Marriage When Only One Spouse Is Willing
By Patti
by Angie Lewis
Stop everything you're doing and write down these principled ways for reconnecting and restoring the broken bonds with your spouse. Apply each of these principles every day until you have completed them all. Don't worry about what your spouse will say or do, just do these steps for yourself and for God.
Forgive Your Spouse
Forgiveness is the greatest principle ever created. Instead of being vengeful, spiteful, resentful, and unforgiving, Christ teaches us to forgive. Forgiveness is much needed before you can restore the marriage because without forgiving your spouse they may feel exasperated, move on, and find someone who will forgive and love them. Forgiving your spouse lifts the burden from you and frees you to love again. Forgiveness is freedom of heart, mind, and soul. Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the Lord and he will deliver you. Proverbs 20:22
Bible Study Together
Make time for the Lord! It is so important to make time for understanding and learning about God's will for your marriage. Couples should not forget about the importance of growing and connecting with the Lordit is what brings couples back together again. It is God who brought you together in the beginning and it is God who will reunite you again. If your spouse is unwilling to read the bible with you, then read it on your own. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth. (John 4:24)
Trust Your Spouse
Just like forgiveness, trusting your spouse involves fruit from your spirit. Christ gives us fruit when we remain faithful to Him and do His will in our marriage. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22)
Trusting your spouse takes all of the above attributes. If you do not trust your spouse now then you must pray about it and ask Christ for the guidance you need. Trust is an important aspect of having a close intimate and emotional bond with your spouse. In reality, real trust for our spouse comes from trusting in our self. How do we trust in ourselves? Through having a close intimate connection with our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Forgiveness works very closely with trust. If a spouse has hurt you in some way and you stop trusting them then the intimate and emotional bonds between you will break. Talk with your spouse about ways in which they can begin to be more accountable to you. Let them know that because of past behavior you need this kind of accountability from them right now. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:3)
If you and your spouse are separated now, then you may be unable to apply any real accountability into the marriage, but you can let your spouse know that you forgive them and trust them for anything they may have done in the past and that you are now moving forward in the Lord, and taking care of your self and any responsibilities that join you to the marriage. They need to know that you are not going to resent them or play head trips with them because of a past sin they may have committed.
Communicate Intimately Every Day!
Don't let a day go by that you do not have an intimate conversation with your spouse. Is there something on your mind, talk about it today. Get things off your mind productively. Don't beat around the bush, but be straightforward and honest about your feelings.
Believe it or not couples can lose touch with one another emotionally and intimately when they do not take the time to be there for each other through communication of feelings and self-expression. Who are you married to? Do you know? What does your wife need most from you? What do you need most from your wife? How can husband and wife meet these needs of each other? By being givers! Do you know the person you are married to? If not, why not?
This is why scripture states to build each other up. It is through your intimate and emotional conversations with your spouse and doing things together that builds couples up. We all need encouragement now and again; even those people who have close relationships with Christ. In ideal marriages it is essential that couples be there for each other! Therefore encourage one another, and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:10)
By applying these steps into your marriage you will be putting God first in your life and marriage. You will be doing the will of God for your life. Blessed is the man (woman) who makes the LORD his trust. (Psalm 40:4)
Angie and Frank's Marriage Ministry: http://www.heavenministries.com
Angie's Books: http://www.lulu.com/angielewis
Forgive Your Spouse
Forgiveness is the greatest principle ever created. Instead of being vengeful, spiteful, resentful, and unforgiving, Christ teaches us to forgive. Forgiveness is much needed before you can restore the marriage because without forgiving your spouse they may feel exasperated, move on, and find someone who will forgive and love them. Forgiving your spouse lifts the burden from you and frees you to love again. Forgiveness is freedom of heart, mind, and soul. Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the Lord and he will deliver you. Proverbs 20:22
Bible Study Together
Make time for the Lord! It is so important to make time for understanding and learning about God's will for your marriage. Couples should not forget about the importance of growing and connecting with the Lordit is what brings couples back together again. It is God who brought you together in the beginning and it is God who will reunite you again. If your spouse is unwilling to read the bible with you, then read it on your own. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth. (John 4:24)
Trust Your Spouse
Just like forgiveness, trusting your spouse involves fruit from your spirit. Christ gives us fruit when we remain faithful to Him and do His will in our marriage. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22)
Trusting your spouse takes all of the above attributes. If you do not trust your spouse now then you must pray about it and ask Christ for the guidance you need. Trust is an important aspect of having a close intimate and emotional bond with your spouse. In reality, real trust for our spouse comes from trusting in our self. How do we trust in ourselves? Through having a close intimate connection with our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Forgiveness works very closely with trust. If a spouse has hurt you in some way and you stop trusting them then the intimate and emotional bonds between you will break. Talk with your spouse about ways in which they can begin to be more accountable to you. Let them know that because of past behavior you need this kind of accountability from them right now. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:3)
If you and your spouse are separated now, then you may be unable to apply any real accountability into the marriage, but you can let your spouse know that you forgive them and trust them for anything they may have done in the past and that you are now moving forward in the Lord, and taking care of your self and any responsibilities that join you to the marriage. They need to know that you are not going to resent them or play head trips with them because of a past sin they may have committed.
Communicate Intimately Every Day!
Don't let a day go by that you do not have an intimate conversation with your spouse. Is there something on your mind, talk about it today. Get things off your mind productively. Don't beat around the bush, but be straightforward and honest about your feelings.
Believe it or not couples can lose touch with one another emotionally and intimately when they do not take the time to be there for each other through communication of feelings and self-expression. Who are you married to? Do you know? What does your wife need most from you? What do you need most from your wife? How can husband and wife meet these needs of each other? By being givers! Do you know the person you are married to? If not, why not?
This is why scripture states to build each other up. It is through your intimate and emotional conversations with your spouse and doing things together that builds couples up. We all need encouragement now and again; even those people who have close relationships with Christ. In ideal marriages it is essential that couples be there for each other! Therefore encourage one another, and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:10)
By applying these steps into your marriage you will be putting God first in your life and marriage. You will be doing the will of God for your life. Blessed is the man (woman) who makes the LORD his trust. (Psalm 40:4)
Angie and Frank's Marriage Ministry: http://www.heavenministries.com
Angie's Books: http://www.lulu.com/angielewis
Sep
16th
Save Your Marriage by Going To The Root of the Problem
By Patti
by Angie Lewis
There is so much written about "how to save a marriage" it can seem a bit overwhelming at times. The truth is no one can really save your marriage but you. Marriage gurus can throw out the breadcrumbs, but in the end it is all about you and your willingness to do what really needs to be done to save your marriage.
Your marriage belongs to God. And when you truly believe this that is when you can actually give yourself (marriage) to God. If you don't believe that your marriage belongs to God then you are reading the wrong article.
What happens when you hand your marriage over to God? God helps you to look beyond the petty quarrelling, faults and weaknesses of each other. Why focus on the negative? When you stop focusing on the negative aspects of your spouse you will be better able to seek a solution, not based on negative feelings, but on the principled acts of love. As long as you base your marriage on "how your spouse makes you feel" nothing will ever improve.
Marriage gurus can attempt to tell you what needs to be done to improve your marriage but they can't go to God for you. They can't make your heart willing to see what needs to be done so you can make the necessary changes in yourself. If you believe that marriage belongs to God then you have to give your marriage to God. Why do you keep giving it to the world? Does your marriage belong to God or to the world? You decide.
Are you carrying around a not so humble heart toward your spouse? What is that going to do for you? Absolutely nothing. I believe that once you can take your eyes off of your spouse's faults you'll be able to see your faults much more clearly. The problem is not that your spouse cheated, or that they are controlling, or wrapped up within an addiction, or that they are cruel and treat you bad. The problem is in how you allow these things to affect you and how you react because of them.
The root of the problems in marriage stem from the inability to properly resolve issues and the lack of understanding the importance of priorities. The major setback for couples is they are not using the principles for marriage that have been taught to them. Couples aren't resolving issues and when they do they go by their own understanding of what they think should be done. But it is not what should be done based on the Creator of marriage.
Be a giver. Give in. Be encouraging. Show compassion. Be submissive. Be forgiving. Ask Christ for the guidance you need. When we don't allow these principles to take precedent in our lives we are handling our marriage just like everyone elsewithout God. If you believe you are a child of God then show it in your marriage. Christian love is not a feeling but a choice. Have you made your choice?
Be respectful of Spouse. Be considerate of your spouse's feelings. Show reverence and high opinion for the person you married. Be appreciative of what you have been blessed with. I've noticed lately that people treat their animals better than their spouse. This is very wrong! Let go of anger and bitterness or it will make you sick, literally. What is controlling your heart in your marriage? If your heart only cares about getting your needs met through your spouse then your marriage is in dire trouble.
God should guide your marriage. Placing God where God belongs, at the top of your priority list is what your marriage needs! Humble your heart and mind to God and you will see more clearly to what your position is in the marriage. You are not God and your spouse is not God, and trying to control each other as if you were God will never work! That's not the way God designed marriage to be.
Putting God first means everything you say and do comes from the principles taught you for living a righteous life. Now you will have something beautiful and awesome to base your marriage on. If your marriage belongs to God then the top of your priority list is putting God first, spouse second, children third, and ministry and self last.
And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all. Mark 9:35
Angie and Frank's Marriage Ministry: http://www.heavenministries.com
Angie's Books: http://www.lulu.com/angielewis
There is so much written about "how to save a marriage" it can seem a bit overwhelming at times. The truth is no one can really save your marriage but you. Marriage gurus can throw out the breadcrumbs, but in the end it is all about you and your willingness to do what really needs to be done to save your marriage.
Your marriage belongs to God. And when you truly believe this that is when you can actually give yourself (marriage) to God. If you don't believe that your marriage belongs to God then you are reading the wrong article.
What happens when you hand your marriage over to God? God helps you to look beyond the petty quarrelling, faults and weaknesses of each other. Why focus on the negative? When you stop focusing on the negative aspects of your spouse you will be better able to seek a solution, not based on negative feelings, but on the principled acts of love. As long as you base your marriage on "how your spouse makes you feel" nothing will ever improve.
Marriage gurus can attempt to tell you what needs to be done to improve your marriage but they can't go to God for you. They can't make your heart willing to see what needs to be done so you can make the necessary changes in yourself. If you believe that marriage belongs to God then you have to give your marriage to God. Why do you keep giving it to the world? Does your marriage belong to God or to the world? You decide.
Are you carrying around a not so humble heart toward your spouse? What is that going to do for you? Absolutely nothing. I believe that once you can take your eyes off of your spouse's faults you'll be able to see your faults much more clearly. The problem is not that your spouse cheated, or that they are controlling, or wrapped up within an addiction, or that they are cruel and treat you bad. The problem is in how you allow these things to affect you and how you react because of them.
The root of the problems in marriage stem from the inability to properly resolve issues and the lack of understanding the importance of priorities. The major setback for couples is they are not using the principles for marriage that have been taught to them. Couples aren't resolving issues and when they do they go by their own understanding of what they think should be done. But it is not what should be done based on the Creator of marriage.
Be a giver. Give in. Be encouraging. Show compassion. Be submissive. Be forgiving. Ask Christ for the guidance you need. When we don't allow these principles to take precedent in our lives we are handling our marriage just like everyone elsewithout God. If you believe you are a child of God then show it in your marriage. Christian love is not a feeling but a choice. Have you made your choice?
Be respectful of Spouse. Be considerate of your spouse's feelings. Show reverence and high opinion for the person you married. Be appreciative of what you have been blessed with. I've noticed lately that people treat their animals better than their spouse. This is very wrong! Let go of anger and bitterness or it will make you sick, literally. What is controlling your heart in your marriage? If your heart only cares about getting your needs met through your spouse then your marriage is in dire trouble.
God should guide your marriage. Placing God where God belongs, at the top of your priority list is what your marriage needs! Humble your heart and mind to God and you will see more clearly to what your position is in the marriage. You are not God and your spouse is not God, and trying to control each other as if you were God will never work! That's not the way God designed marriage to be.
Putting God first means everything you say and do comes from the principles taught you for living a righteous life. Now you will have something beautiful and awesome to base your marriage on. If your marriage belongs to God then the top of your priority list is putting God first, spouse second, children third, and ministry and self last.
And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all. Mark 9:35
Angie and Frank's Marriage Ministry: http://www.heavenministries.com
Angie's Books: http://www.lulu.com/angielewis
Sep
9th
15 Ways to Please Your Husband Through Gods Eyes!
By Sonyaby Barbara Rainey
Romans 15:2-3 tells us, "Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. For even Christ did not please Himself…" Who is your closest neighbor? Your husband. How can you edify (build, improve) your ability to please your mate and thereby enhance his self-worth? By discovering—and doing—what pleases him.
If you are creative, pleasing your mate may be a natural part of your personality. But a less creative person may need some coaching in becoming a partner pleaser. And all of us need an occasional cue
Romans 15:2-3 tells us, "Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. For even Christ did not please Himself…" Who is your closest neighbor? Your husband. How can you edify (build, improve) your ability to please your mate and thereby enhance his self-worth? By discovering—and doing—what pleases him.
If you are creative, pleasing your mate may be a natural part of your personality. But a less creative person may need some coaching in becoming a partner pleaser. And all of us need an occasional cue
card to remind us to reach out. Here are 15 simple ideas:
1. Write him a letter and send it to his office, or put a love note in his lunchbox or briefcase.
2. Prepare his favorite meal.
3. Arrange an evening out for just the two of you.
4. Wear his favorite dress with your hair done the way he likes it.
5. Purchase something small and frivolous for him that he won't buy himself.
6. Give him a nicely framed picture of yourself, or of you and the children, for his office.
7. Surprise him with an all-expense-paid trip to do something he likes, such as golf, fishing, or a hunting trip.
8. Put the children to bed early and prepare a candlelight dinner.
9. Do something that especially pleased him when you were dating.
10. Read Scriptures and pray with him regularly.
11. Take walks together.
12. Keep your junk out of the garage.
13. Greet your husband warmly after work.
14. Wear his favorite negligee or buy a new nightgown to add sizzle to your evening attire.
15. Clean out the car for him.
Sometimes the smallest gestures can make the biggest difference in your marriage. Pick out something you haven't tried before; don't give complacency a foothold in your marriage relationship.
Pass this on to your sister in Christ so she doesnt miss a thing on how to be a great Godly Wife!
1. Write him a letter and send it to his office, or put a love note in his lunchbox or briefcase.
2. Prepare his favorite meal.
3. Arrange an evening out for just the two of you.
4. Wear his favorite dress with your hair done the way he likes it.
5. Purchase something small and frivolous for him that he won't buy himself.
6. Give him a nicely framed picture of yourself, or of you and the children, for his office.
7. Surprise him with an all-expense-paid trip to do something he likes, such as golf, fishing, or a hunting trip.
8. Put the children to bed early and prepare a candlelight dinner.
9. Do something that especially pleased him when you were dating.
10. Read Scriptures and pray with him regularly.
11. Take walks together.
12. Keep your junk out of the garage.
13. Greet your husband warmly after work.
14. Wear his favorite negligee or buy a new nightgown to add sizzle to your evening attire.
15. Clean out the car for him.
Sometimes the smallest gestures can make the biggest difference in your marriage. Pick out something you haven't tried before; don't give complacency a foothold in your marriage relationship.
Pass this on to your sister in Christ so she doesnt miss a thing on how to be a great Godly Wife!
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