ChristianMilitaryWives

Did you know that February is National Friendship Month?
Lucy and Ethel would be thrilled!
Can you imagine how they would celebrate if they could join us?
I can assure you it would be a hoot,
and would include chocolate!

Have you ever celebrated the amazing gift of friendship in your Women's Ministry (small group)?  Before you answer let’s get an expert’s definition of what that means. Webster defines Celebrate as: to observe a noble occasion with festivities—to show happiness that something good or special has happened.

Sounds like Mr. Webster had experienced true friendship. In the body of Christ we too have experienced true friendship and I think that calls for a celebration. So, let’s get out the party hats and order the cake—we even have permission in God’s word!

In the Old Testament, we read how God ordained feast and festivals where his people would gather and celebrate. Friendship is ordained by God a beautiful gift to be treasured, enjoyed and, yes, something to celebrate.

One of my favorite verses of scriptures is:
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work,
if one falls down his friend can help him up. — Eccl. 4:9-10. 
I have been "helped up" many times,
and that gives me a reason to celebrate.

Here’s a simple and fun idea for your women's ministry to celebrate friendship. It doesn’t need to be in February.  However, February might be a good time to put it on your calendar.

Death by Chocolate Party

• Watch the Lucy and Ethel Job Switching DVD—Use the clip "Let Em Roll."
• Serve refreshments—that are rich in chocolate.
• Decorate with the Colors Pink and Brown—Aqua makes a great accent. (The party supply stores have many items to select from.)
• Invite at least three women to share their testimonies about a special friendship that had a real impact in their life.
• As the director, take a few moment to share about the most important friendship we have—Jesus.
• Make this an outreach project by having women invite their best friends.

Want to help the women in your church
connect and grow meaningful friendships?
Order Frankie’s Bible study Why We Need Girlfriends.

 w w w . F r a n k i e D S h e r m a n . c o m

Frankie Sherman is a national speaker, comedian, and Bible teacher for confer-ences, retreats, and women's events. She fell in love with Jesus at Vacation Bible School and takes every opportunity to tell others about the joy of being alive in Christ. She is a former choreographer for the Georgia Peach Bowl and the Florida Citrus Bowl Halftime Show. Her specialty is in theater musical/productions. Her first Bible Study, Why We Need Girlfriends is based on the relation-ship of Mary and Elizabeth, from Luke's gospel, two women brought together by extraordinary circumstances by an extraordinary God. Frankie is from South Carolina—loves sweet tea, BIG hair and her grand-girls. She believes there will never be another Elvis and knows that her Jesus will return for her soon.

Frankie Sherman | 137 E Peninsula Dr. | Laurens, SC 29360
Copyright © 1999 - Present Frankie Sherman. All rights reserved.

Valentines Day Photo Contest Rules:

Place photo of yourself and your husband in the CMW Forum under the CMW Valentines Day Contest. You may only enter contest one time. By entering contest, you give CMW permission to use your photo in upcoming newsletters and announcements. We will never sell your photo, or make a profit on it.

We will determine the winner by inserting all names of those who enter the contest into a hat and asking a stranger at the Cross Creek Mall in Fayetteville, NC to draw a name out of the hat. That's right... we are going to have a little fun with it.

A member of our CMW small group will be the one to approach the stranger. We will include photos/video of this event!

Winner will be awarded a $25 Yankee Candle Gift Card! Winner will be chosen February 13, 2010.

This is a forwarded email I wanted to share... great story!

The doctor had his TV on in his office when the news of the military base shootings came on. The husband of one of his employees was stationed there. He called her into his office and as he told her what had happened, she got a text message from her husband saying, "I am okay." Her cell phone rang right after she read the message. It was an ER nurse,” I’m the one who just sent you a text, not your husband. I thought it would be comforting but I was mistaken in doing so. I am sorry to tell you this, but your husband has been shot 4 times and he is in surgery."

The soldier's wife left Southern Clinic in Dothan and drove all night to Ft.Hood. When she arrived, she found out her husband was out of surgery and would be OK. She rushed to his room and found that he already had visitors there to comfort him. He was just waking up and found his wife and the visitors by his side. The nurse took this picture.

What? No news crews and cameras?

I sent my cousin in Fayetteville, N.C. (Retired from Special Forces) that picture of Geo. W. visiting the wounded at Ft. Hood. I got this reply: What is even better is the fact George W. Bush heard about Fort Hood, got in his car without any escort, apparently they did not have time to react, and drove to Fort Hood.

He was stopped at the gate and the guard could not believe who he had just stopped. Bush only asks for directions to the hospital then drove on. The gate guard called that "The president is on Fort Hood and driving to the hospital." The base went bananas looking for Obama. When they found it was Bush they immediately offered escort and Bush simply told them he wanted to visit the wounded and the dependents of the dead. He stayed at Fort Hood for over six hours...

Thank you Mr. and Mrs. George W. Bush!

A Note From Give An Hour:

*Warning: Before reading this article, please remember these thoughts are only the thoughts of Patti Katter and her thoughts do not reflect the thoughts of every military wife in the world... just quite a few of them. ;)

It's so easy to look at the downside of deployment.  Deployments can be like a lemon.  The outside of a lemon is bitter and the inside is sour, not much good about that unless you use something to sweeten it up!

Dreading deployment is very common.  I've never met a woman or her military man that did not dread deployment. 

Quite a few wives have told me that weeks before deployment their husbands become distant to them.  A wall begins to form in their marriage.  Civilians may not understand, and if you are military and have not yet been through deployment you may not quite understand.... but the majority of our CMW members do understand due to multiple deployments, and they understand all too well.  

Not all marriages have difficult times before deployments, there may be that woman someplace in the world that is not effected.  I have yet to meet one.  If you are that woman, PLEASE let me know who you are - I would love to meet you! =-)

Pre-Deployment:
Just when you think husbands and wives would grow closer to one another, knowing that many months will go by until they see their loved ones again... something happens. Kah-Pow! The world spins out of control and one of three things happen.

1.  The words stop, your husband feels like its better to stop "being attached" to you - just "incase" something happens to him - you won't miss him as much.

2.  Arguing kicks in along with frustration.  Your husband may think, "if I am a big jerk to her... she will not be so sad if something happens to me."

3.  With the frustration your husband is going through, and his work-load he may not even realise he is releasing his frustrations out on you.

And do you know what? I think many wives go along with the first two scenarios.  As a wife, you may be afraid something horrible is going to happen to your husband at some point in the deployment.

I think it must be a built in defense mechanism our minds use to rationalise things.  I think its a wrong defense mechanism  though.  I know it's not Godly thinking at all... that's where it comes to play that we are all sinners - if we were all perfect we would not have sinful thoughts.

As a military wife, I understand how we "military wives" think.  We like to be in charge of things.  If you think about it, we are pretty much in charge of everything.  Paying bills, making sure the oil is changed in the car, grocery shopping, maybe holding an outside job, taking care of the kids and the list goes on.  The fact is, we are a take charge type of person.

We like to be in charge of our thoughts, our emotions and that includes the safe return of our husbands.  When being forced to really think about it, we cannot be in charge of our husbands safe return.  No one really can... and, that can be scary. 

We don't like to think about things, let along talk about these things.  I mean, what wife in her right mind would tell her husband that she's afraid he may not make it home?!   Not this wife.  I would never tell my husband such a thing, especially before he went off to fight the enemy.  It's an unspoken thought... it's scary and there's only one who we can really take it to and that is Jesus Christ.

God is there for us in all times.  When we are alone, when we are afraid... God is there.  God knows our thoughts and our hearts.  It's so easy to take the frustration of deployment out on our husbands, but that is just not fair to them.  Our husbands are brave, they are ensuring our freedom, they are doing their job.  Our husbands also have internal battles that makes it very difficult to talk about things before they leave for war. 

Your husband is married to you for a reason, he loves you.  I'm sure your husband has thoughts inside of his head that he feels like he cannot talk to you about, just as you have things you don't want to burden him with before he leaves.

Here are a few ways to keep your mind busy before your husband leaves for his deployment.  I find that keeping my head clear and keeping busy with productive projects are very helpful, and these tips will help sweeten up that lemon mentality.

1.  Write love notes, and hide them in your husbands luggage so when he gets where he is going... he will have quite a bit of literature to read. ;)

2.  Keep a prayer journal, I cannot stress this enough! When having your sour and sometimes bitter days - fill your prayer journal pages with prayers for your husband.

3.  Talk to other women in your area, find a Christian based support group.

4.  Talk to God, He's always there - He's your best friend.

5.  Be still, listen to the Lord speak to you... He will comfort you.

Don't let your sour, bitter thoughts get in the way of your relationship with Christ or your husband.  Don't let pre-deployment jitters get you down! You are armed with something that non-Christians do not have.  You have God on your side, "if God be for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

Our actions fuel our husbands actions, if we can remain calm in Christ - and your husband can see that... it will make for a much better pre-deployment time on the homefront. 

I am lifting all of the wives up in prayer who have husbands that are getting ready to deploy.  May you allow the Lord to use this experience in your life to allow you to grow closer to Christ.  Please always remember you can go to the Prayer Warrior group and post prayer requests.  You can also always email me with any questions or comments you may have.

In Christ,
Patti Katter

Recently, I have had an influx of women sending emails to me asking if I have any information to help them cope with a husband who has PTSD.

Let me introduce myself.  My name is Patti... my husband has PTSD. 

PTSD is not something our men like to talk about.  It's not something we as wives want to think about either.  But, the truth is there are many military men coming back from deployment only to face a mental war inside themselves.

First and foremost, let me say... PTSD is not something you should be ashamed of.  If you think you have PTSD, or your husband has PTSD, it is very important that you go and find help.  The military offers free counseling for those who need it. 

I understand that some may not want to go on post for counseling.  There's another great resource out there... Give An Hour.  Give An Hour is a private organization that offers not only free counseling, but confidential counseling. 

Not only does PTSD effect our military men, but it effects families and can effect friendships.  If you suspect your husband has PTSD and he will not admit it, you should still consider seeking guidance for yourself.

The more you know about PTSD, the better you will be able to cope with someone who has PTSD.  Many military wives have secondary PTSD.

Pattis Top 10 on living with a combat injured, PTSD Vet:

1.  Seek Godly counsel

2. Educate yourself on PTSD; you can visit CNN Health, they offer an array of information on PTSD.  You can also GOOGLE PTSD and many results will pop up in the search engine.

3.  Learn what your husbands "triggers" are and how to defuse situations (example: anniversaries of difficult situations; death of commrads, extreme firefights etc).  If you know it's the anniversary of something difficult your husband experienced while your husband was away, you may know why he's having an exceptionally bad day, week or sometimes even month.

4.  Take care of yourself.  For the past couple of years, I have let myself go to take care of my husband and his injuries.  I am finally getting back on task when it comes to taking care of myself.  It's been a long road, and if you can avoid going down the road I went down - trust me, it will be best for you! Exercise, eat right, try to sleep good.  Its so easy to get wrapped up into worrying about your husband.  If you don't take care of yourself, you will eventually crumble.

5.  If your husband is also suffering from other mental conditions such as depression or self harm, allow them to feel the way they do - BUT - watch for warning signals that things may be getting worse so that you can help them by alerting a mental health team or doctor.

6.  Don't be hard on yourself! Do not blame yourself for your husbands PTSD, do not think you "should have" done this or that.  We all know that the horrific events of war are what caused your husbands PTSD, don't start questioning yourself.

7.  Keep a journal or have a mentor you can "vent" to.  As women, most of us are external processors.  This means, we need to release so many words to express our feelings and emotions.  You will feel better after releasing these thoughts/words.  You can either keep a journal or talk with a mentor.  Sometimes, as women - we just need to "get it all out."

8.  Marriage counselling with someone who understands PTSD would be very benifical.  I'm not saying this is going to "fix" your husbands PTSD, but it will hopefully allow you both an avenue to express yourselves on how you are both feeling, why you are feeling the way you do and what techniques may help you.

9.  Find a PTSD support group in your area.  If you cannot find a support group, maybe you will think about creating a support group yourself.  There's a very big need for PTSD support groups, and it's always good to know you are not traveling down that road alone.

10.  Don't be afraid to admit that you need help.  There are resources, organizations, support groups, books and so much more that are out there to help.  We should be very thankful these resources are in place for us in todays day and age. 

Resourses I have found helpful are:
Family Of A Vet




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God bless you all,
Patti Katter

My good friend, Lorie Southerland (Gold Star Mom to SPC Michael Rodriquez) has asked me to pass this information along to those living near Fort Bragg.
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Amy Ball from "Friends of Kurdistan" would like to come speak about the changes that have been made possible by our loved ones serving in Iraq. 

Ladies, we are pleased to announce that CMW has joined forces with The Girls Get Away Cruise... we are going to set sail October 14 - October 18.

We are still working the details out - they are working with us to give us the best price possible. They will offer monthly payments... without interest, which is wonderful.

What is the Girl's Get-A-Way Cruise?

The Girl's Get-A-Way Cruise is a cruise for women featuring today's top Christian speakers and artists. It's a cruise for all ladies from mothers and daughters to sisters and from good friends to church groups! There's something for everyone on the Girl's Get-A-Way Cruise. You'll enjoy morning devotions, meet and greets, two beautiful ports of call, shopping, exquisite dining and so much more!

What is included in the price of the cruise?

*all meals (there's gourmet fare in the formal dining rooms, casual indoor and outdoor grills open for meals throughout the day and 24 hour room service)
*non-carbonated beverages (i.e. tea, juices, coffee)
*all concerts, speaker sessions, etc. put on by Premier
*use of the ship's beautiful pools
*use of the ship's health and fitness center
*taxes, fees, and gratuities, are pre-paid and added to your reservation total ($225 per person)

What is not included in the price of the cruise?

*items of personal nature (phone calls, internet, laundry, etc.)
*spa & beauty salon
*soft drinks (however, cards are available for a low price which get you unlimited soft drinks throughout the cruise)
*any meals, events or excursions while in Port
*airfare (although you can take advantage of discounts offered through the Orbitz link on our website)
*ground transportation
*cruise insurance (available through Premier for an additional fee)

Who may sail?

Please make sure that everyone in your cabin is eligible to sail.

*Infants who are at least 6 months old on the day of departure may sail.
*Women who will be less than 24 weeks into their pregnancy on the day of departure, and for the duration of the cruise, may sail. This policy is due to the risk of premature labor. Pregnant women must have a letter from their doctor stating how far along (in weeks) their pregnancy will be at the beginning of the cruise, that mother and baby are in good health and fit to travel, and that the pregnancy is not high-risk.
*Adults aged twenty-one or older may sail. The Cruise Line shall refuse boarding to any guest under the age of twenty-one unless the guest is:
*traveling in the same stateroom with an individual twenty-five years or older;
*traveling in the same stateroom with their spouse (Proof of age and/or proof of marriage are required); or
*traveling with a parent or guardian in an accompanying stateroom.
Guests not conforming to these policies will be denied boarding and no refund of the cruise fare (if applicable) will be issued. Sorry, there are NO EXCEPTIONS to these policies.

Will there be a concert schedule available for the cruise?

Yes. You will receive a copy of the official "Cruise News" newspaper in the Port Terminal before we embark. This will give you a list of all the events for the trip.

Pricing:
If you book your reservations in January, prices begin at $100 down!

Prices booked on occupancy and room type:
We have cabins set aside for CMW.  The prices below include our CMW discount and are in Category M (Interior Stateroom).  You can invite all of your friends.  Civlians women welcome!

The following payments are set up per person, for the next 8 months if scheduled in January.  As you see, the more you have in a room, the less expensive. 

$100 down-payment
$77 per month - four per room
$81 per month - three per room
$84 per month -  two per room

You may choose how many people you would like in your room with you.  If you do not have anyone you can think of to share a room with, don't worry! We will work with you to try to partner you with another military wife.  Also, The Girls Get Away Cruise has a feature on their website to help you find a roommate.  You can register to find a roommate HERE.

Prices include port fees, taxes and tips. 

Interior Stateroom

Michael Fletcher is my Pastor.  He's a wonderful man of God, and his wife is a great woman of faith.  I am proud to have Michael and Laura in my family life.

Using a fun and free-flowing discussion format, Michael and Laura Fletcher answer some of the most burning and pertinent questions facing married and hoped-to-be-married people today. Each message includes a series of do-at-home assignments for both married couples and single individuals.

Let's Talk About Marriage is a five week study that Michael and Laura are leading.  Last week, Part I was our focus... God Invented Marriage.

Tomorrow, I am looking forward to hearing about Effective Communication.  If you are not in the Fort Bragg area, never fear! You can watch the videos here!

I hope you are blessed by the sermons as much as my husband and I have been blessed.

PART 1: God Invented Marriage (1/10/10)
PART 2: Effective Communication (1/17/10)
PART 3: Roles In Marriage- Pt.1 (1/24/10)
PART 4: Roles In Marriage- Pt. 2 (1/31/10)
PART 5: Rated "R" for Romance (2/7/10)